Am I A Medium?

Okay, well I have been studying spirituality for about 2 years now. Before that I studied Buddhism for 3 years. Within the past 2 years I started meditating and working on my chakras. I bought crystals, sage, incense, candles, you know, the whole package. The spiritual world always intrigued me, probably more than the physical, as I always knew I was different. I remember being a child and being called overly sensitive, or girly, because I cried for everything. It was just hard because I was sensitive. I could feel emotions of people, animals, places, things, etc. Its like I was born with an automatic sensing of knowing. With that I was always optimistic and full of life. People loved me and always called me the good child.

However, at the age of 17 I went through major depression. I locked myself in my closet for a week. On the 7th day I decided to give up. I put a shotgun to my head and at the moment my mom barged in. She saved me. After that everyone wanted to put me in a mental institution, but I can remember the emotions being too much. The voices in my head were not my own. This is when I found out I was an empath. One mean word to me and I took it offensively and it cut me like a knife.

Now I am 25. I started researching more on spirituality like I said 2 years ago. I decided to just meditate because I knew it would help heal my auric field and clear my chakras. Everything was fine at first. Weeks went by, along with months. After the 3rd month I woke up with an urge to write. The writing came naturally and freely. I would write everyday. Things like enlightenment, positive thinking, self-love, etc. These things were never something I would consciously write about. But I would post them on facebook. With my first post I got amazing feedback. People were drawn to my knowledge and insight. They wanted to know more which led me to become their spiritual teacher, or guide. Still to this day I guide those in need. But, eventually the writings stopped and I became depressed again. After researching I found out that I was going through ascension, which I am sure you know what that means.

Well, here is what I want you to know and need help with. One night I was meditating and I spoke outloud, ''I do not fear you. Please touch me if you are here with me.'' Within seconds I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder. I quickly turned around and no one was there. It was frightful, because I had never experienced that before. But at the same time the touch was warm and comforting. Well, ever since that day I am able to feel spirits touch me. Its happening more and more and they are not obeying me or trying to connect with me. Sometimes they listen, but often they dont.

So, I went to a medium and she spoke of one spirit being my spirit guide. She said he was very tall. But that is all she told me. She also spoke of my energy being pure, which attracts the spirits to me. She only told me about one spirit, but I knew there were more because I can feel them. But, she told me there were nothing to fear. So, I took her number and told her I would call her when I needed help.

Well, one spirit touches my butt and pulls my underwear. One time he ran his finger down my crack. I can feel spirits walking on my bed and grabbing my waist and pulling my shirt. I feel like they all want my attention so bad that they aren't paying attention to me when I speak to them. I need to know how to communicate with them. I tried tarot cards but while doing so I felt a spirit place a long string down my back. It was as though he was cutting something. He was distracting me and wouldnt listen to me.

But nothing harmful happened yet.

Well, last night I decided to ask my friend to help me channel, which I do often, but I cant seem to do when it relates to me asking the questions and answering them. Well, I found out that I have a young spirit with me. He is weak and lost. He isnt aware that he is gone, but doesnt question where he is. I also learned that he needs me, but the other spirits are not allowing him to get close to me. They push him to the back and this makes him feel like a loner. His touch is different too. Its tingly and cold. He often times wraps his arms around my right arm.

I want to help this child spirit. Today I decided to call forward Jacob which is what I call him and the other spirits seemed to have gotten jealous. I even spoke that everyone would get their chance. It felt like Jacob was close to my right side and squeezing my shirt with his hands clinched tight. I feel he is afraid.

You are probably so confused huh. I feel as though they dont like me talking about this with you.

Here are other things they do:

-Placing of the hand on my stomach, solar plexus chakra.
-Trying to take off my necklace
-I felt extreme pressure under my right shoulder blade that felt like a hand was going in.
-I can now see their energy when I allow myself to lose focus and go in a trance. I seen jacob standing in the corner. His energy was darker and stood like 3 feet tall. I seen another energy that was white and must have been 6 feet tall if not taller. Another energy was darker and it was just appear on the wall. I honestly felt like I seen 14 spirits in my room moving around, though only their energy. and just before that I asked them how many spirits were with me and they didn't answer. I also ask them to tell me their name and the only one that did was Jacob.

At times they leave me have space, but once I ask if they are there its like they all run to me with haste.

Do you think one of these are my spirit guides?
What should I do for protection? Sage works to calm them down, but it only rids the evil spirits, I think.
Can you channel or help me out in anyway?

Hi, by the sounds of things, you have opened the door and left it wide open. Have you ever learnt how to ground and shield your energy? If not, please look on the Spiritual Development forum and others because there are plenty of threads here on how to do this.

You should always be in control of who comes to visit you. You wouldn't leave your door open and allow any stranger to wander in 24/7, so why allow spirits to do so? You are allowing lower level spirits in - true guides do not feel emotions like jealousy, they are there to support and help you, as those who gave you the automatic writing did. Emotions and mood have alot to do with it, so do close down your senses when you feel low and only connect when you are feeling joyful or excited. A simple visualisation to do this is to imagine a light switch and turn it OFF. Turn back on again to be open. Or for something stronger, visualise closing a shop door, turning all the keys, bolts and locks shut and putting up a Closed sign. Reverse it to open again.

It's time to take a stand and make it clear that you are NOT available to all 24/7 and that only those who are of a vibration and intent for your highest good may visit you. Next time you meditate, sink your roots deep into the earth, visualise white light around you with a gold shield beyond that and blue beyond that. Ask that your gatekeeper be present to allow only your true teachers to come forward. Once you have establised some basic ground rules, then you may be able to ask your guides to help Jacob go home to the Light.

[shadedragon]

:) if you want help, I can give you a few techniques. One you can find here: http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...ad.php?t=39187
I can also do a channeling if you'd like, or do some automatic writing/ mediumship/ telepathic communications and rely messages. I also have a number of guided meditiations/visualizations that you can meet your guides and gain valuable insight and help. :P just pm me :)