I experienced a synchronicity from reading something in your post that crossed my mind only ten minutes ago. Strange, eh?
I can understand what you're going through in terms of feeling confused on making a decision. I think we have all experienced that in our lives.
The key thing here is the
feeling not the mind. Are you coming from mind or the soul? It is often hard to interpret where exactly you are coming from as the ego will often use its power to take over, thus you'll come from mind.
What I tend to do in this type of situation (and I am by no means a guru at all!) is get quiet and still and go within - even meditate on it. I get still and imagine myself in the situation I am contemplating and feel it.
So, in your case it is University. Imagine the feeling of being in University for the next number of years your course is planned for. Feel the feeling (almost paradoxical, ha) and really get under the skin of what you will be doing as part of the course; the studying, the classes, the social life etc etc.
Then I would do the same again and imagine life without University and feel what you would like to do (if you have alternative plans), again, feel the job or whatever it is you would like to do, your life, where you'll be, social life etc etc.
This generally helps me.
But, if you're not excited about University, then this tells me it is not for you, or specifically this course. But I also don't know you and am just reading a few lines someone has written on a screen
I'll quickly share with you something that recently happened to me, which may resonate:
I started a job in March 16'. It came at the right time as I really didn't like my previous job - it was very stressful and was affecting my home life at the time, and also my relationship at the time. I knew it wasn't right for me so searched for alternative employment.
Cutting a long story short, I ended up getting a new job in March 16'. This was a less stressful role, a smaller company, better pay - it all seemed superb on paper, and to be fair, it lived up to my expectations at the time.
Like anybody in a new role or a new opportunity, we get excited don't we. We are eager and want to get our 'teeth stuck into it'. I was working hard, meeting lots of new people as part of the role, but above all else, this job offered me a huge amount of independence. I had no boss looking over me on a daily basis, I was on my own all day, everyday. In September 16' through a series of events (which I won't go into now) I entered into an awakening, and as part of my being alone all day driving in my car, I listened non-stop to lots of different audiobooks and podcasts - literally 7-8hrs per day.
Evenings I would be reading self help books, then as the months went by it ventured into spirituality. As I started to wake up more and more, so did my desires and ambitions.
I was not the same person I was in March 16'. Last year a lot happened to me personally (and still is) which made me evolve even quicker, and I started to lose interest in the job...
I knew I didn't want to do this role much longer and that it was not my purpose and why I am here. I also had a house to run, bills to pay etc, and didn't have enough savings to up sticks and leave the job as I'd lose my home otherwise. Months went by and as the months went by, I was growing more and more and I just KNEW I wasn't to be in this role.
A series of 'coincidences' or synchronicities occured regarding leaving the job - all the signs were there, yet I couldn't bite the bullet with having the house to run. In October 17' the feeling internally was overwhelming to the point I was literally shaking, and this wasn't nerves, this was a knowing from my higher self to leave this job, or something is going to happen.
This feeling lasted for about a month, so each day I was working I felt horrific - I didn't want to be there, my output was terrible, I wasn't interested and wasn't performing, the writing was pretty much on the wall.
In November 17' the team got called to a meeting, which required quite a lot of preparation. I didn't want to prepare for it, but forced myself to do so.
I was driving to the office (3hr drive) and seriously, during the whole journey my intuition was screaming at me that something is going to happen, I need to leave, and leave quickly. It is something I have never experienced or felt before.
Meeting was done and dusted and off home I went, still feeling as though something was going to happen.
The next day my work colleague called me and I said to him ''I either need to leave or I'm getting sacked, I can feel it, seriously''. He laughed and said all will be fine.
That night HR phoned me and terminated my employment.
It was the best thing that ever happened to me, and what I am saying is that go with your feeling. If it is overpowering, then go with it, your higher self knows best.
Do what is right for you, not anyone else, but go within and really get in touch with your internal guidance system.
Good luck, and sorry for waffling!