tough patients

Hi Everyone! So I just started a new job at a pretty large nursing home facility. it has been INCREDIBLY overwhelming and i just want my life to feel normal again. So much good comes from it and so many residents have thanked me for the programs and services i provide.

But there are things that i take so personally and i know that i should. I take angry and mean behaviors so personally. There are a small handful of men on the floor that have a rough edge and have really powerful loud voices, so when they speak or start to shout i just want to hide and run! it really effects the way i interact with the other residents that i am doing a program with in the same space! i know it will get better with time but is there any advice anyone has or similar experiences you have gone through?

thank you!

[Black Sheep]

Sometimes it helps me to take a step back, and observe both the person and oneself, or reflect on the situation, such as, if I wasn't there, would the person be rough irregardless, it helps in not taking their behavior personally.

Also, I've found that people who behave in the manner of which you are speaking, expect particular reactions whether that's reactionary anger, fear, etc. But if you remain calm, and centered, they find that soothing(or may be initially set off balance/aback).

So for example, a teenager from a rough family had acted out in anger towards me in regards to some minor questions I had asked, I just smiled, just figured he had a rough day, and carried on as I usually do. Later on, he told me he never had anyone react the way I did to him, and from that point on he was cordial, and respectful.

You may or not make a change in them, but what's most important is to make a change within, to find that sense of inner strength and stability, so as to not affect the rest of your day/work.

And thank you for your care and work! Much well wishes.

I have worked with kids and I find it important to be honest about what you will tolerate. I had an episode where one kid could not find some of her outdoor cloth so when I tried to help she called me a lot of bad things but I let it slide because the words was not pointed at me but just a sign of her frustration. I stayed calm while helping her. Then one of her friends also tried to go on the same ride and say some bad things and I told her I did not tolerate such because she was not frustrated and only did so because her friend had done it.

Have you ever heard of nonviolent communication? I found it quite helpful when working with kids. I have seen videos with the founder of it and he has had great success with all ages. If you are not familiar with it then I would suggest a search on it instead of me trying to explain in a way that it is useful