Spiritually, what can I do for an addict?

gravitysrainbow · #1 26-04-2015, 01:49 PM

I know the saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink from it." You can't help others if they don't want help themselves. All I can tell this person is that I love him, and I hope he gets the help he needs so that he doesn't go down that road of deterioration. I know I can pray for him. I know the drug use is just a way of avoiding negative emotions, that it doesn't matter how much you take - the emotions will still be there, unacknowledged.

How can I help without being a codependent caregiver? What is the best attitude I can have so that they don't see my concern as a reason to feel even more ashamed and judged? This person is very sensitive and has a lot of suppressed emotions. He's stuck in an emotional rut and his inner child needs healing.

Thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated!

Thunder Bow · #2 26-04-2015, 06:45 PM

If you become an "codependent caregiver" you will be doing more harm than good. Both to you and him. Do not try to "Rescue" him. He must decide to heal on his own and be his own warrior in his healing.

Waller · #3 26-04-2015, 07:47 PM

Be who you really are and reflect that opportunity.

Mr Interesting · #4 26-04-2015, 08:33 PM

Life is a drug and sometimes I just love the pure honesty of these people and getting on with serving that drug. I know that might sound counter productive and even alienating to the prescribed notions but there is a certain warrior mentality I find with these people where I actually often find them as brave and full of strengths that are beyond my comprehension.

My own nephew seems hellbound to follow this path and I did find him listening to me a few years back whereas now it's different and almost feels like he needs the space to discover how deep he can actually go so who am I to question that choice made so outside the realms of life because that's indeed what it feels like.

I may to just be romanticizing the gesture which seems alike my own youth where many I knew threw themselves so heartily towards some demise and not a few went beyond but the simple fact remains that I gave myself that journey so why might not he take it?

But I really don't know and somehow that's an important connection and with me anyways I'm always around others to help myself, to if I can feel the divinity we all share at some level then there is a quality worth being there with.... that's how I feel responsible, same journey, different pictures.

rainbow.sprinkles · #5 26-04-2015, 09:48 PM

all I can think of to suggest that can't possibly hurt anybody is some sort of prayer? whatever that may mean to you. just sending some positive, healing vibes out into the universe for him is harmless and could help.

Serrao · #6 27-04-2015, 03:06 AM

Maybe you could drink a glass of wine with him once in a while (if you consume wine of course) and stick to only one glass.
I think this will inspire him to develop control.

pdizzle45 · #7 27-04-2015, 05:20 AM

Find a way to get through to him. Obviously the issue he is having seems to have negative consequences. Find a way to show him how much better off he'll be by practicing healthier habits. Lead him to see the happiness that lays before him when he cleans himself from his drug addiction. Or you could have a discussion with him about what is bumming him out, or what it is that troubles him. Let him know however that you will promise to be a loving listener who holds no judgement regardless of what he says. Listen with love.

Gem · #8 27-04-2015, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gravitysrainbow

I know the saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink from it." You can't help others if they don't want help themselves. All I can tell this person is that I love him, and I hope he gets the help he needs so that he doesn't go down that road of deterioration. I know I can pray for him. I know the drug use is just a way of avoiding negative emotions, that it doesn't matter how much you take - the emotions will still be there, unacknowledged.

How can I help without being a codependent caregiver? What is the best attitude I can have so that they don't see my concern as a reason to feel even more ashamed and judged? This person is very sensitive and has a lot of suppressed emotions. He's stuck in an emotional rut and his inner child needs healing.

Thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated!

I reckon you might do a bit of research on how to support loved ones with drug use problems. There's probably some place you can call where there are professional people you could could talk to.

Blue Tiger · #9 27-04-2015, 01:32 PM

Sadly there is not much you can do unless the person wants to change.

Love them, care about them, but don't accept any excuses from them about why what they're doing is ok, or reasonable, or why it isn't their fault. Addicts can rationalize pretty much anything.

Be available if they need to talk, or want to reach out for help. But other than that, turn away and live your own life.

It's tough, really tough, to watch someone you love potentially destroy their lives. But it ultimately is their choice. Sadly, if you invest too much effort into pushing, tugging, harranging, cajoling them... they may turn on you and blame you for everything. Don't let them.

Live your life. Love them, but take care of yourself. Be available, but don't be a crutch or a doormat.

And then accept their choices. You aren't being asked to like those choices, just to accept that your loved one is capable of choosing their path in life, for good or not so good.

I wish you luck with this situation. And yes, I've been the one who cared about an addict. They made lousy choices, and I cared too much. It's a bad, bad feeling, but I'm ok now. The addict isn't ok, but that is his choice.

CrystalSong · #10 27-04-2015, 03:22 PM

There's many addictive things in life, some are just more 'healthy' than others.
Maybe introduce him to a different addiction - one that would mean he needed to let go of his current addiction in order to truly excel at the new addiction?
I'm thinking river running, rock climbing, Para-sailing, biking, 4-wheeling, running, hiking, things like that. They can be amazingly addictive and to get the very best out of ourselves and really push the limits we have to give up other addictions which hamper us.
The intense rush of feeling viscerally alive is every bit as addictive as things which allow us to escape the human condition. We can get out of our human thinking patterns running a class 5 rapid or submitting a 14,000 Ft summit just as much as we can through illegal drugs/alcohol and it could be said many drug users are trying to escape their own thinking/self.
This does require having had a love of physicality and the body at some point in his life though or a desire to have one.

If he's disconnected from his body and lives totally in his mind, then maybe online PVP (player vs player) gaming or MMO's. They are incredibly addictive and to advance in the game and be competitive it requires a clear mind and fast reflexes - those on drugs get wiped out easily as it debilitated them, and so they find themselves setting rules around drug use and when they can do it so as to not interfere with 'Raid Time" or peak traffic times of the game. This does require a certain competitive spirit and desire to excel though.

Figure out what his passion is and find something inside it which would captivate and inspire him and his desire to excel at it would naturally led him to drop/reduce the drugs because he has a captivating replacement for them.

Just an idea...I have no idea if it would work or not, but at least it could provide another option for him/her. The idea is if we are addictive personality it's not a question of 'curing' that part of ourselves so much as it is finding a safe and healthy out let and expression for it.