Dream mum shouting at me and forcing me into ballet shoes

[Ladyrose92]

I had a dream where my mum was just angrily shouting at me and having a go at me for a number of things. She was forcing me to put on a pair of ballet shoes and I was struggling with tieing the ribbons neatly up my legs. I was saying why am I even doing this I don't want to wear these rubbish shoes and she was just shouting at me how to do it and basically I'm an idiot for not being able to do it when she can.


She text me yesterday having a go at me (which is ridiculous considering my parents haven't been in my life for 10 years) because I didn't call or send a card to my step dad for Father's Day. I didn't even want to wish it to him at all as I don't feel I have loving parents. But I text him and he text back. So her text seemed very attacking to me, it came out of nowhere. She said she was very disappointed in me! I got really angry and spent 2 hours writing and changing a message to her saying how I feel, what they do and that if she's disappointed then don't bother talking to me anymore. Then I felt I don't even want to give her the satisfaction so i didn't send it. Then she text me a few hours after saying that message was sent in love! She then acknowledged meeting up when I text her about that last week but she ignored me. I just can't be bothered with her, her drama and her attacks on me. At the moment I just feel like ignoring her but I know I'll have to deal with it. I'm realising what a master manipulator she is and I don't know how best to deal with it to be honest. She's a nasty piece of work and keeps trying to bring me down and emotionally manipulate me. If I said that to her though she would say I'm crazy or feeling sorry for myself! That's her favourite way to disregard my feelings.


I fell back to sleep. I dreamt we were having a crisis. I was walking up my road to work then a giant gorilla like King Kong appeared in the distance. I took pictures of it over the buildings. It started to be thunder and lightning. I walked back to my home and saw my sister Molly as a little girl and my brother Louie as a baby, even though Louie is older than Molly. I got them both from their careers and was taking them home to safety. My sister Chloe and I were talking about how mum isn't there for them and us and can't protect us. That's why we took it into our own hands. Chloe was saying how mum has hurt her and I was reliveded she felt the same and understood how I felt. On the way back there was an old fire engine it was like it was from the 1950's in the shape of a van/car. It was on fire. As we was walking past I could see it was about to explode and it did but the blow didn't hit us. It was like there was an invisible bubble around us that stopped it getting us. I was walking back to the house but then it wasn't safe so we was walking the streets with loads of other people not knowing where to go and trying to find safety. Louie's dad was Pharrel the rapper. He took Louie and was holding him. I was walking with Molly near them but they kept being slightly ahead. I asked Molly if she wanted to stay with me just us two or if she wanted to go with Pharrel so she could stay with Louie. She didn't understand at first she must of been about 6 years old. So I explained again and she said she wanted to stay with me. So I said ok but we need to get out of here and find somewhere safe. The giant gorilla was in the distance but could come to where we was at any time. Fire was coming down from the skies. The sky was black but red with fire and the tall city buildings were the only things protecting us as everyone was walking carefully down the streets I turnt us down an alley and I woke up.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Pharrell Williams ~ Happy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Sxv-sUYtM

you are protected from all the negativity you see, by that invisible bubble.
viewing your siblings as youngsters is suggestive of you revisiting your
childhood, and extending your healing energies into your past experiences.
you are an adult now, and your past has no hold over your present condition.
you can simply choose to be happy presently.


"clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth."

[Ladyrose92]

haha! I did wonder why Pharrell was in my dream, pretty random, but that's true! After I spent ages focusing on her, I let it go and thought this is wasting my time and I let it go and felt instantly better, able to have a laugh with Matt etc instead of feeling angry. So I'm glad to hear this, and glad to know that invisible bubble is protecting me. It was pretty cool actually, I was only a meter away and I saw the bubble as the explosion would have hit me, it was blue and glittery and went invisible again. I realised, even if my mum keeps trying to get at me, its my own choice if I let it, so I'm glad to hear this! I'm also really glad to know I was extending healing to past experiences, when Molly was 6 I was 12 which was a hard time, and when Louie was a baby I was 4/5 which was also hard. Glad to hear this, thank you Horace!

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

you're welcome Ladyrose92. maybe you could make a mantra from some
of the ideas in that song, and bring them to mind when you get to feeling
troubled (?). that invisible bubble is provided for you through divine sources,
until you've become accustomed to shielding yourself from the storms and
great beasts who seem to threaten your happiness.

[Ladyrose92]

Ahhh so happy about this. I like the line you wrote, because it states to clap along if you feel happiness is the truth, which is a choice and reinstated my own truth, so it reminds me to not let anyone affect that. When I was was watching the video I did think that the dancing made me happy and I should watch this when down. But i will see if there is anything else I can use to help me when feeling troubled, thank you! I'm sooo grateful that I'm being looked out for, that is such a relief, I'm glad to know they've got my back while I learn how to protect myself. Wohoo!

[Michelle11]

I see these two dreams and the previous one you had with the new comfortable shoes and choosing Jack/Love over Niall/Champion or winning. The dream from the other day a bit of a precognitive dream about the Father's day interaction and you choosing to not get pulled into your mother's games and drama. In many ways, when someone puts us on the defensive, we feel the need to win over them to stay safe. But this keeps us at odds and actually emotionally hooked by them. the simple act of not responding to your mother's perceptions and accusations helped you to maintain your well being. The less we get pulled into the games people play the less people will try to pull games on us.

In the ballet slippers dream I suspect the dream is relating to the message you feel your mother is putting on you. Ballet dancing is really the epitome of dance. To succeed at it you really must be near perfection. So the implication is that your mother is imposing on you the need to be perfect and you realize it isn't you. It isn't who you want to be and/or need to be. No one can actually be perfect regardless of your mother implying that she is. She is fooling herself. But the point of the dream may have been to show you the root of her insinuations towards you. You aren't being a perfect human and that makes you bad or wrong or something.

I suspect the last dream is a reflection of the emotional impact your mother has on you. She comes at you in a fiery rage and you feel like your life is threatened as a result. Here tone is larger than life, loud and intimidating. There is a part of you that wants to try and keep quiet and sneak away so as not to be in the path of her wrath. I'd say over all you are make good strides at breaking her hold on you. Keep doing what you are doing. You will get out from under her control.

[Ladyrose92]

Oh my I didn't even make that connection, but I literally did make that choice after that dream lol! When she text I did feel aangry and defensive to start, but after I worked it all out in my head I didn't even want to say anything to her and I guess I choose the love over winning :) I also felt she may have flipped out or arrived unnannounced at my home, but she seems to have fizzled away and not heard anything since, so I'm glad, with the explosion part of the dream, I am being protected with the progress I make with her. It's like because I chose love myself instead of retaliating, the rest was taken care of which I'm grateful for. Since I've been getting out of her control she's really ramped up the tactics to stay hooked, it's mad because I see it so clearly in all her interactions towards me now, but she probably doesn't realise on a deep level what's going on, she's just acting out trying to get at me. It's fascinating now I see it so I want to keep going.

Interesting about the ballet part as I wondered what was the significance of that. But she does expect me to be perfect. I hadn't really seen that before. I wrote in the message I didn't send that if she doesn't like who I am and she's disappointed then don't bother talking to me. I felt I reached a point were I no longer cared for her acceptance and approval and also that I'm willing to let go. That's a huge step for me so I'm happy about that. I'm glad it shows me her expectations and me realising it's not me and it's not what I want to live up to. She is fooling herself, Matt says but she'll blame it on him that I'm getting out of her control and I say I don't care what she thinks, that I've told her my feelings etc so if she wants to blame someone else (doesn't matter if it's him or someone else) and not take responsibility for her own actions, then frankly I don't have time for that anymore!

It was pretty scary lol but I felt safe and protected which I am thankful for as I really do need it at this time particularly. I thought it meant disaster was going to strike my life, didn't realise it was her but now I see it lol hopefully nothing bad happens! I need to have the dreaded chat with her I guess as I don't feel it's fair to cut off without saying what is what to me. Although I doubt she'll understand what I say so then I think that I need to see her to get something from her that she paid for (she done this as a further attempt to have a hold as I have to see her to give the money for her rent before end of month) and then just say I need space and no contact until otherwise stated. I just don't feel she'll take anything I say in the right way so I'm not sure what to do there. I feel dealing with people like that takes a certain level of mastery, I feel I could give it a good go but I'm just putting my feet in the water, I don't know that I could stay calm/in love with her being like that to my face if she is relentless, it will be difficult to deal with. The dream I had last night about Jack again, I feel shows my continued growth in this way choosing love which is pretty cool. I just hope I can complete this challenge and move on in peace. Thank you for what you have said and your support, I really appreciate it, I truly hope I will get out of her control too.