Loss of money

[Tomma]

So just two days after the positive trash bags dream came a rather depressing one. I think I figured part of it out ....


I rent a flat and also a (hotel?) room somewhere. I pay a month or more in advance and after staying there a couple of weeks I’m told that I have to move out earlier. I argue with the owner of the hotel over some kind of barrier, who is a middle aged, unfriendly and ugly woman who wears a kind of uniform that is too tight for her. She looks and acts a bit like a police woman but she isn’t police. I say that I have already paid the rent but to no avail. I will not get any money back. I feel disappointed. At the same time I lose a job I had. My husband and I talk and calculate that I lost a lot of money this month.

My thoughts:
Renting a flat/hotel room - they are not mine. Describes my feelings living here, this is not my thing, my home, my place (I'm an expat, living in my husband's country). I invested a lot in this situation but now I feel rejected and unappreciated. Dream tells me I lost a lot of my feeling of self worth (money) in this situation.

The woman is especially interesting for me: she looks old fashioned, her clothing is unflattering and stiff, her hair is styled in an old fashioned way, she’s stuck in old values of authority and discipline, like a school headmaster from the 60s. I remember people like her from my childhood. (There’s a little bit resemblance to my grandmother as well.) They are used to giving orders and demand that others obey. There’s no discussion or flexibility, no middle ground, no compromise, only black and white thinking.

I was wondering: am I this woman? Is this how I handle my situation here in a country that after many years still does not feel like I belong here? Has my inflexible and unfriendly attitude contributed to my feelings of loss of self worth?

I appreciate your thoughts

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

the unfriendly woman who isn't a police woman is the matron presiding over
the "power over others" matrix... what humans have been struggling with for
several centuries. she's mother earth, enlivened with unloving intentions,
provided to her through misguided creation energy.
the money which you cannot extract is "value", and it is your own essence...
you cannot remove yourself from the old paradigm because you've become
"invested" in it... you are the owner of the earth matrix (as are all people
who've enjoyed or suffered authentic life experience here).
the barrier you face involves transforming what is undesirable about earthly
incarnation into something which celebrates free will.
we're in the age of aquarius now, and things have changed from what they
once were; release the grip of the old paradigm and embrace the new world.

[Tomma]

"Matron" is the word I was looking for, thank you H:O:R:A:C:E. Yes that's what she is.

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

we're in the age of aquarius now, and things have changed from what they
once were; release the grip of the old paradigm and embrace the new world.

You see, the thing is, I thought I did that all my life

Until I was well into my 30s I always lived in communes, shared houses, I was (and still am) interested in astrology, dance and singing, meditation, etc ... I never fit in with conventional society, and never was a part of it really. Then this thing about "settling" down came upon me. It's like I made a u-turn. I married, we bought a house, no kids but lots of dogs .... and now often that feels too limited, too burdensome ... and I'm struggling with a strong sense of responsibility and the strong need for security and stability on one side, and the wish for more flexibility, freedom and creativity on the other.

The dream looks to me like this matron has taken a lot of value out of my life. I'm angry with her now!

[SpiritualGirl1]

I hope you do not mind my sharing my thoughts... yes we are every person in our dreams... sounds like the woman is taking from you, so you are arguing and taking from yourself... your husband is commitment to yourself... sounds like you need to look at what you would like to have in your life and move toward that... I love how our dreams are messages to us... namaste...

[Tomma]

Originally Posted by SpiritualGirl1

I hope you do not mind my sharing my thoughts...

Of course I don't mind! I'm grateful for your thoughts.

Originally Posted by SpiritualGirl1

yes we are every person in our dreams... sounds like the woman is taking from you, so you are arguing and taking from yourself... your husband is commitment to yourself... sounds like you need to look at what you would like to have in your life and move toward that... I love how our dreams are messages to us... namaste...

This resonates with me, thank you. Yes I can see that I sometimes have an attitude that is not healthy, loving .... I seem to undermine myself, and then I lose valuable resources.

[Michelle11]

I agree with your interpretation of the dream including the old lady. I see her as old conditioning you picked up in childhood based in black and white thinking that has rule or law, police and because she is a woman, over your emotions and how you feel about yourself. Your self worth gets lost when unexpected events occur in your life causing you to feel rejected. The things that happen to you are not personal. They don't happen because you deserve it or are unworthy.

[Tomma]

Hi all, I just wanted to say how helpful it has been for me to hear all of your interpretations of the dreams I posted over the past weeks. I was able to look deeper inside of me and identify certain conditionings and behaviour, and come in contact with deeply buried emotions, mainly fear and insecurity. I believe a shift has taken place in me.

Two days ago I traveled to another city for a meeting (I mentioned this before). I was nervous to go. But although not all went smooth (the train was delayed, taxi driver cheated etc), I found myself very relaxed once I was on the way, dealing with the problems in a confident way, and in the end everything worked out and I was on time and got the papers I had come for. It felt really good. Situations/people that I would have expected to annoy me or worry me did not bother me much. I just went with the flow and, as I said, it all worked out

I'm gonna post a new dream in a minute ...