Conversations...

[FoxTracks]

I love all your stuff since you started your conversations pieces! It is very beautiful and I think you've improved very much since I first read your stuff!

[Nowayout]

Originally Posted by Ariaecheflame

I can somewhat relate Nowwayout. Lol... I don't know why I'm laughing, I'm not laughing at you. You knew why you were being reprimanded, I often did not or often it was because I was trying to connect, asking for a hug or something.


You know what? I always had a sense of being very loved and I loved my parents too and I still do. They are after all, human, they did their best just like the rest of us. I respect their journey and I even feel a sense of admiration for where we all arrived to as a group.

These lines pertained more to the church I guess, there was mostly a rule with an iron hand attitude and little room for compassion in the system.

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None of this endures though, I'm often reminded of the word 'mirage'. It's a word which follows me around a bit.
Pain is a mirage which I have travelled through and what is beyond it is an oasis.

I never hit my son, not my way. I just had endless debates with him...

My father's generation was into spankings, they all did it, got the strap across my hands in school once, that hurt! My father's spankings where more subtle?

The church, had my fill with there judgments, my heart rules me now but what do I know.

[Ziusudra]

Originally Posted by Nowayout

I never hit my son, not my way. I just had endless debates with him...

My father's generation was into spankings, they all did it, got the strap across my hands in school once, that hurt! My father's spankings where more subtle?

The church, had my fill with there judgments, my heart rules me now but what do I know.

I agree about not physically hurting a child.
Children do not know consequences and often what is right from wrong.
And they test and exercise their boundaries.
These are all part of growing brain and of building their personalities.

They need guidance and explanation from their parents.
Time out and taking away some of their privileges temporarily are the right ways to teach them about consequences of their actions.

Also, I see parents spanking them in public when a child just does not know how to express themselves.
The child may be crying and screaming because the child is hungry and/or tired, or even scare.
They are basically in physical or emotional discomfort and do not know how to express it verbally but to crying and screaming.
Instead of calmly figuring out what is causing their child to acts out that way, parents often panic and hurt their child physically(or verbally threatening them) to quiet them down.
It is so sad.

Hurting them physically causes emotional scars, confusions (especially when they are little toddlers), fear of expressing self and trying new things in their future, and even PTSD.

Yeah, do NOT spank your children, people.

[Ariaecheflame]

I made a pretty conscious effort to be a very different kind of parent. I stopped at one child haha ha... So that I had the emotional resources to be as present as I could be.
I'm not overly materialistic, we still have more resources then I had growing up though. I do make a point to be more present as presence is the most important thing.

I smacked my daughter once, she was a toddler and ran out in front of a car. I yelled quite sternly too to not run out on the road and she never did it again and I ever smacked her again either.
I'm not a big fan on inflicting childhood trauma though.

I was listening to a show on ABC about smacking kids and a man from Arnhem Land said that he doesn't smack his toddler unless a hungry crocodile is involved lol. I'm not sure if he smacks the toddler or the crocodile or both in such situations.

As to Debates... Haha, yep. My daughter is a lot like me, she questions the point to absolutely every little trivial thing so apparently everything is worthy of a debate it kind of amuses me as much as it is annoying.

Lol... Classic case of parental karma... Haha (joking).

[Ariaecheflame]

Originally Posted by FoxTracks

I love all your stuff since you started your conversations pieces! It is very beautiful and I think you've improved very much since I first read your stuff!

Thanks foxtracks... I don't put my good stuff on here lol. This is where the impulsive ADHD stuff goes. It stops me from doing something more impulsive in life haha. Though that can be fun too occasionally. This place keeps me in line a tiny little bit lol. Sad to say that it's possibly kept me off the streets hahaha!


This is where I mess around and explore the flow, it's more cathartic.

Hmmmmm... This comment is giving me an idea, now I know why I liked improv so much at school so much.