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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #1  
Old 02-11-2017, 09:36 PM
pinkskymelody pinkskymelody is offline
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Red face When Your Soulmate Is Married

I've had about 5 major soulmates in my lifetime thus far, which was predicted by an Astrologer that I used to be in contact with and each of them were married and out of reach. I didn't get closure from any of them until the 5th one, which was yesterday. This guy shook my world and before he even reached out to me, I knew we were soulmates. At this point, I don't know if HE was my actual twin flame or not but there were uncanny resemblances to a scary degree. I've never dealt with such a mirror as him and it drew us to each other. However, I am single and he was married with a lot of kids. We finally had the discussion yesterday that we couldn't do anything together because he didn't want to risk losing his children and although I had this unexplainable desire to be with him for tangible and intangible reasons, spiritual and physical reasons, I agree with him. He's a good guy overall and a beautiful father and I'd never want anything bad to happen to shake up his family.

The point is, although this is the nature of the soul, we still care about these people in the end and if we don't care about those people, we are being selfish. I know it can be hard sometimes because the connection doesn't regard the physical issues in the material world but I do think if our twin flame is married with kids, or just a soul mate, and we care about them.. truly care.. we would respect their families because kids are impacted when they grow up in broken homes. It was a hard pill for me to swallow but one thing that made me feel a bit better about saying goodbye to him was that he told me , "In another time and place things would have been very different" but that he'd just never do anything to sacrifice his family and that they mean everything to him. That statement coming from him was SO sweet and could bring tears to my eyes. That man is such a wonderful father and person.

So, while I am sad now and while you could be sad now, I just wanted to remind everyone in similar situations that your souls will never be apart because they are part of each other's... and when things start to get tough, just imagine that things could be even more tough if your twin lost their children and their children grew up in a broken home..
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  #2  
Old 02-11-2017, 10:25 PM
Impulsv Impulsv is offline
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On another note just imagine children growing up in a loveless marriage and thinking this is normal
It can "word edit"up kids

Last edited by Lynn : 03-11-2017 at 01:42 AM.
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  #3  
Old 02-11-2017, 10:40 PM
pinkskymelody pinkskymelody is offline
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I've thought about that as well but it teaches to put responsibility over desires... keeping a family in tact.. you know..
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Old 02-11-2017, 11:19 PM
psychegrl psychegrl is offline
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I have a similar situation with my TF and grew up with both parents. I absolutely honor the commitment he made and never asked him to change that.

But in these situations, the sacrifices we make are just that sacrifices. And according to God sacrifices are not supposed to make us unhappy but make us happier. When we can sacrifice our guilt or anger or shame to God (Source, Universe) our gifts are able to come in more fully. We are able to be happy in any situation with the right motivation depending on the goal.

However, if it were your child vs your TF/SM, would you still want them to be committed to a marriage, job, idea that continuly makes them unhappy trying to make it work? Having to give them support for every situation, every time? Or is it kinder to be like the birds and shove them off a branch and tell them to be free of things that don't serve?

This isn't necessarily my view of marriage but watching two people who are unhappy and not well matched didn't serve me or my sister as a child. In fact now my sister is in the same boat. We talk about what we wished our parents should of told us about life instead of living the lie of being satisfied with the situation.

It's a terrible lesson to teach children.

(My parents worker really hard to make our lives good and never fought in front of us. They were devoted to the family unit and I had a magical childhood. It was not till I was older that I was able to see all the cracks and feel the disfunction.)
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  #5  
Old 03-11-2017, 12:15 AM
unicorn68 unicorn68 is offline
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your message touched me deeply as a father of 4.and i have found my twin flame.all i can say is that if he is truly twin flame then he will never ever abandon the children.this is an outdated institutionalised guilt complex that both of you would appear to have within you.i totally agree with a couple of these replies.doesnt he owe it to his kids to show them that there is an absolute love out there that is fulfilling and growing and that they also have the chance to find this in their own lives?why hang on to outdated notions of the institution of marriage and the "word edit "dogma that literally just promotes suffering for the sake of kinda thing?

Last edited by Lynn : 03-11-2017 at 01:43 AM.
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  #6  
Old 03-11-2017, 12:18 AM
pinkskymelody pinkskymelody is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psychegrl
I have a similar situation with my TF and grew up with both parents. I absolutely honor the commitment he made and never asked him to change that.

But in these situations, the sacrifices we make are just that sacrifices. And according to God sacrifices are not supposed to make us unhappy but make us happier. When we can sacrifice our guilt or anger or shame to God (Source, Universe) our gifts are able to come in more fully. We are able to be happy in any situation with the right motivation depending on the goal.

However, if it were your child vs your TF/SM, would you still want them to be committed to a marriage, job, idea that continuly makes them unhappy trying to make it work? Having to give them support for every situation, every time? Or is it kinder to be like the birds and shove them off a branch and tell them to be free of things that don't serve?

This isn't necessarily my view of marriage but watching two people who are unhappy and not well matched didn't serve me or my sister as a child. In fact now my sister is in the same boat. We talk about what we wished our parents should of told us about life instead of living the lie of being satisfied with the situation.

It's a terrible lesson to teach children.

(My parents worker really hard to make our lives good and never fought in front of us. They were devoted to the family unit and I had a magical childhood. It was not till I was older that I was able to see all the cracks and feel the disfunction.)

You raise a great point that I can't disagree with. In my situation it is a bit different where my SM wants to keep his family in tact and I guess my point was misdirected. I agree that nobody should stay in a place that makes them unhappy unless their goal was to grow and evolve. However, that's not most people's goals. Marriages that involve children, a lot at that, such as my situation.. become messy when things blow up. To make matters worse, my SM is a local tv personality, so he's got a lot on the line that he cannot risk. He is well respected and I can tell he loves having all of his family live together. If anything were to get in the way of that, his wife would take the way things currently are and tip it upside down. So, I'm saying because he cares about his family so much, I think it's most respectful to honor those wishes and step back. It's more about what he wants than what I want. It is incredibly hard for those of us with strong connections who are already committed. I don't even agree to marriage, myself.. but he loves his kids so much and the unity that I am with him, there in a more objective manner.
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  #7  
Old 03-11-2017, 12:23 AM
pinkskymelody pinkskymelody is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unicorn68
your message touched me deeply as a father of 4.and i have found my twin flame.all i can say is that if he is truly twin flame then he will never ever abandon the children.this is an outdated institutionalised guilt complex that both of you would appear to have within you.i totally agree with a couple of these replies.doesnt he owe it to his kids to show them that there is an absolute love out there that is fulfilling and growing and that they also have the chance to find this in their own lives?why hang on to outdated notions of the institution of marriage and the "word edit" dogma that literally just promotes suffering for the sake of kinda thing?

I don't want to pry but what has caused you and your twin flame to be separate ? My SM is a "regular guy" meaning that he goes along with ethics in the main society. I am the more "spiritual" one, for lack of a better term, between us. He works for the news and everybody knows his family and he is big on unity. I don't think he sees things in the perspective as a lot of us do on these types of forums. I agree with you.. That shouldn't be the case. I believe in freedom. Unfortunately, we are star-crossed and I am telling myself these things, objectively in order to cope with the circumstances. Lord knows if I asked, "Why doesn't he just give in..." and things surrounding the sort, I'd go insane and get frustrated. I also would appear incredibly selfish and that, I don't want. I really do care about him and his love for family unity so I have to tell myself these things and be focused on his desires and wants to cope with the loss of our communication.

Last edited by Lynn : 03-11-2017 at 01:44 AM.
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  #8  
Old 03-11-2017, 12:26 AM
unicorn68 unicorn68 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkskymelody
You raise a great point that I can't disagree with. In my situation it is a bit different where my SM wants to keep his family in tact and I guess my point was misdirected. I agree that nobody should stay in a place that makes them unhappy unless their goal was to grow and evolve. However, that's not most people's goals. Marriages that involve children, a lot at that, such as my situation.. become messy when things blow up. To make matters worse, my SM is a local tv personality, so he's got a lot on the line that he cannot risk. He is well respected and I can tell he loves having all of his family live together. If anything were to get in the way of that, his wife would take the way things currently are and tip it upside down. So, I'm saying because he cares about his family so much, I think it's most respectful to honor those wishes and step back. It's more about what he wants than what I want. It is incredibly hard for those of us with strong connections who are already committed. I don't even agree to marriage, myself.. but he loves his kids so much and the unity that I am with him, there in a more objective manner.
i couldnt agree more.even though every fibre in your being is probably screaming at him right now you are absolutely right in your thought process.it is not your place to break this apart(even though the walls are almost certainly crumbling around it if he is indeed your TF)feel the pain of the illusory separation,allow it to be,breathe through it and carry on for now.in the best way that you can.the chaser/runner complex is most hard on the chaser,but it will come back to you.in time.if he is unaware of what a twin flame IS,and you are still communicating,at least give him the words so that he can do the research if he wants.imagine if in 2 years time he comes to you and gets to know that u knew what it was all along and didnt help him with his understanding....like freck man why the hell didnt u tell me?u arrogant "word edit" kinda thing.whereas if u tell him NOW then there can be no blame attached to you....

Last edited by Lynn : 03-11-2017 at 01:45 AM.
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  #9  
Old 03-11-2017, 01:06 AM
Inika Inika is offline
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Quote:
imagine if in 2 years time he comes to you and gets to know that u knew what it was all along and didnt help him with his understanding....like freck man why the hell didnt u tell me?u arrogant "word edit" kinda thing.whereas if u tell him NOW then there can be no blame attached to you....
no offense, it just seems like an 'excuse' to make it complicated. No one is under any obligation to the other to be 'blamed' for why they didn't tell them. These are just those typical ego excuses as to WHY it needs to be known. As for marriage. To me it means you are not going to be in a marriage type relationship with them at this current moment. Could change 20 years down the track but for now they are in your life to serve a different purpose than to be married to you right now.

soul mates, twin flames. lots of it is very mainstream now, as in, it's all in the here and now physical commitment with one another. Which is, well how it always is and has been between man and woman that didn't even 'need' to be soul mated. idk anymore. I'm interested in the spiritual and soul relationship rather than having the physical. If there were physical, i'd need a damn lot of space since we're not distant in spirit and soul. To forever be in him and him in me and by his side physically and he by mine, even im starting to choke on the suffocation! Im super glad he is in the industry he is in for work. if it were to be physical, we'd get lots of time apart physically and no, not so i can run around with another bloke while he's away. It's so i can re-group, get my own sense of self and just BE in my own space. Its an actual MUST for me. And possibly why traditional marriage and commitment never works for me. He'd need to be super secure in his relationship with me to understand its for my own personal, emotional and spiritual needs, not to go mess around with other men. believe me, lots of men can have absurd ideas when they are aware there are 'better' men out there that won't accuse her of wanting other men just because she's attractive enough to get other mens attention. He'd need to fully be secure in himself and our relationship because otherwise, it's a major insult and it wont work until thats addressed and owned as an individual issue.

hmmm rant done.
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  #10  
Old 03-11-2017, 01:14 AM
pinkskymelody pinkskymelody is offline
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I don't believe in marriage or commitment either.. Some of the reason is because I need space, like you.. the other, is that I think it is against human nature. It's like trying to turn a lion into a vegetarian. It goes against human nature.. where ethics shouldn't even come into play. One is just doing as they please with another, unlike a thing such as a terrorist who is literally bothering those who don't see it coming or who don't want to be bothered.
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