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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #11  
Old 23-05-2014, 02:08 AM
wolfmanthe1st wolfmanthe1st is offline
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It is best to forgive and let the past be the past. To harbor ill feelings keeps the wound alive. Besides if we don't forgive, it is my understanding that in future reincarnations we will have those same people in our lives again and again until the issues are resolved.
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  #12  
Old 23-05-2014, 05:09 AM
EnigmaKashmir
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rarthyr500
What if your father raped you your brothers beat you up and your mother was a drug addict who abused you? There are people out there who have families like this... So I bet they are looking forward to spending eternity with their "family"

What everyone is saying is true. If anyone wants peace in there life or afterlife then you have to learn to forgive not only the ones you have done you wrong but most importantly you must learn to forgive yourself.

When growing up my mother was an alcoholic but the problem was no one even her would admit this. I was not physically abused, but my mother had a sharp tongue and my step father sexually abused me from the age of 11 to about 13(which by the way something I did not tell anyone till after I was 40, my mother passed away before I could ever tell her). My real father had sexually abused my sister and has done prison time for it. My grandfather also a raging alcoholic that was not only verbally abusive but physically also to his wife and children. So yeah my family tree is twisted some of the bark has fallen off and many of the branches are broken.

Now I have wrestled with these issue for years and from what I can figure out so far, is if I live my life with rage, hate and bitterness then I am still their victim long after the crime has been done and past. (here is the part I am still having trouble with) If I want to break free then I must learn to forgive them and to understand they had their own issues to deal with and they coped or dealt with it badly. Which in turn I had to suffer from those mistakes, which in my own misery I have cause problems and pain for others. If I learn to forgive not only them but myself then in a way I win, and I become something they in them selves fail to be.

So If I manage to work through my issues, and learn to forgive then yes I do look forward to spending eternity with them. Because despite all of the **** there were good times regardless of how few and far between they may have been, and it was in those times that those who did me wrong shown their true selves.

But this is just from my own experience and my own opinion. what would this crazy cat lady know

Blessed be and Meow for now
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  #13  
Old 23-05-2014, 11:02 AM
Electric_Dreams Electric_Dreams is offline
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I truly believe that we all get the chance to reflect on our life after we make our last exit in a lifetime...and during that reflection any unresolved issues will be dealt with accordingly...probably in some sort of councilling then group therapy.
We are all put here to learn lifes lessons, and unforunately some arent brought about very nicely...my mum had the kind of upbringing in question and she suffered nearly everything imaginable and so much loss...yet she wasnt bitter because she accepted that this lifetime was her time to learn hardship and forgiveness...she found it much easier to accept her fate but did struggle to truly forgive, after all she wasnt a saint, but after her first stroke...A part of her died, and she seemed to loose all grudges and seemed much more compassionate towards everyone, though she was always a good woman, I noticed the change. I really believe my mum did most of her after death councilling while still on earth...so maybe she lingered for those last years to give me a sneak preview of the transformation of character when we give up the ghost. Im confident she was at peace with her father when she passed. Im sure what I witnessed is the effect of passing on a soul before it had passed and I feel blessed to have been given that knowledge as she had to suffer for 7 years of life after life before she was allowed to rest in peace...it happened for a reason, maybe just for me to witness and pass on oeace to others❤
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⭐❤⭐You can't control what people say or do to you, But you can control how you react to it⭐❤⭐
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  #14  
Old 23-05-2014, 12:46 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
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Getting back to the original post, I really don't know who will meet me when I die. I've moved around my whole life so, up until the last 20 years, I had no roots. Family? Nadda. Maybe my guide who has been magnificent.
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If you hit rock bottom, start picking up rocks.

By embracing my imperfections I am becoming perfect.

Itís through the cracks that the light gets in.
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  #15  
Old 23-05-2014, 12:57 PM
Electric_Dreams Electric_Dreams is offline
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If its your guide who has walked your life with you and helped you fulfill your destiny then yes that is orobably going to be the "person" who greets you when the time comes.
I think death is supposed to be a possitive experience, no matter how your life ends! As soon as we let go of physical reality, we let go of our earthly worries...Ive never personally heard a negative near death experience, people being worried about any earthly problems...only love and peace
__________________
⭐❤⭐What hurts you today, Makes you stronger tomorrow⭐❤⭐
⭐❤⭐You can't control what people say or do to you, But you can control how you react to it⭐❤⭐
⭐❤⭐Love Light & Laughter...Blessed Be⭐❤⭐
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  #16  
Old 23-05-2014, 02:14 PM
Black Sheep Black Sheep is offline
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I personally struggled with that concept of spending any additional time with dysfunctional foo. Given how they were sadistic(in the truest sense/objective definition), as well as craved drama/conflict as they so said... it felt like it would be a personal hell to meet them or hangout in any afterlife scenario. On the positive note, it did light a fire under my feet to figure things out in order to prevent that. :)

But like some of the others, I don't feel a need to meet them as they are now. Instead, I'd rather release all that trauma, pain, victimization-type stuff, any sort of bond to them, and connect with the divine.
In doing so, I've found a few things go on, #1 in releasing those bonds, I found out they acted more as chains, tying me down, in releasing those chains, I was able to free myself, be fully, and liberated.
#2 if I do end up meeting them, I will be coming from an entirely different perspective, one of wholeness and balance. So I won't feel that negative effect as prior. Plus the added effects on my life as a whole, prior to any afterlife situation, which is/has been transformational and awesome!
#3 if they end up working out their problems so that they can move in those planes/areas I play in, why wouldn't I want to meet them? So either way, it's a win-win.

Additionally, in doing so, I've met my greater family, there is family through blood and family through spirit. I imagine my spiritual family, which have bonds that are deeper than anything, would meet me upon death.
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  #17  
Old 23-05-2014, 02:42 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
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I am aware many of my a abusers/family who are now in the hereafter are relieved that I have forgiven them, which severs any need for karma in the future between us. Forgiveness was gladly given.

I also agree that entrapment occurs when we don't forgive. For many years my chains were long and very heavy. What a relief when I could finally lay them down, bury them and move on.

Bit like you said Black Sheep I. Don't have any desire to meet them.
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Deb

If you hit rock bottom, start picking up rocks.

By embracing my imperfections I am becoming perfect.

Itís through the cracks that the light gets in.
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  #18  
Old 23-05-2014, 02:44 PM
Electric_Dreams Electric_Dreams is offline
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Good for you blacksheep...I hope many more people can do the same ⭐❤⭐
__________________
⭐❤⭐What hurts you today, Makes you stronger tomorrow⭐❤⭐
⭐❤⭐You can't control what people say or do to you, But you can control how you react to it⭐❤⭐
⭐❤⭐Love Light & Laughter...Blessed Be⭐❤⭐
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  #19  
Old 23-05-2014, 07:31 PM
Native spirit Native spirit is online now
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If you dont want contact with your family ,you dont have too its entirely up to you, i have no desire to see my parents and so i wont.


Namaste
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  #20  
Old 26-05-2014, 03:45 AM
DayLight1555
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rarthyr500
What if your father raped you your brothers beat you up and your mother was a drug addict who abused you? There are people out there who have families like this... So I bet they are looking forward to spending eternity with their "family"

On the other side, you start to understand things... and you can forgive because you can understand. It's not the same as here. Here, people swim in ignorance and confusion and as a result get their feelings hurt all the time even when no one meant them any harm.

One example, there was this movie: two people really loved each other. Then they decided to give gifts for each other, but did not have money. They wanted to surprise each other with gifts so started to lie to each other about where and how they were spending their time. Then they got very hurt feelings (when one of them learned that the other was lying).

So they tried to do something good, but did it badly. And were hurt. They thought they were hurting each other when they were actually doing something nice to each other.

My point is not that abusive people are being nice, but that we don't understand why they did it. Once you understand, you can forgive. PLUS, those people will feel remorse. And usually, it's much easier to forgive someone who feels pure remorse. You're going to feel a different perspective and will feel like loving is much easier THERE than holding a grudge. Good feelings are natural and like swimming with the current. Negative feelings are not natural and like swimming against the current.

PLUS, you don't have to live with your family if you don't want to. Just because these people were together in one lifetime doesn't mean they are destined to be together forever. There is a different kind of a family over there...
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