True love. blahblahblah

[Khalli]

Originally Posted by Tuesday

....

And more importantly (just kidding. I hope) what are the sign of true romantic love and how can you achieve that? Does it last with one person or do relationships fall to this secure, loving state with no sexual or romantic feelings for the other person? I've had friends say, that 'we are such an old couple that we don't have sex anymore.' And also this site I mentioned says that the romantic and sexual feelings are just a state. ****. How boring would life br if my romantic partner didn't want to have sex with me after ten years. I'd change relationships immediately.

I can tell you from personal experience that couples that reach this stage while still fairly young and healthy will grow apart and be distant to each other over time.

First 14 years of our relationship was very good, then in 2006 a change happened. No more intimacy between us. At first it bothered me, but, I figured things would work out. Soon we were sleeping in separate rooms, doing activities separately and growing in different directions. So by the time it was 2016 I filed for divorce, I gave up trying to 'fix' whatever was wrong because we couldn't even agree if the sky was blue by this time. It took me that long to realize my life partner was not Her anymore. And it all started with denying a part of our relationship.

[iamthat]

Love comes in many forms eg:

Divine love - unconditional and universal, coming from a Soul level
Family love - usually unconditional but restricted to certain individuals, coming from a personality level
Romantic love - at first unconditional and directed at one person, coming from personality, particularly the emotions
Love of friends - usually conditional and will probably change over time.

I say that romantic love is unconditional at first because in the first flush of romantic love we usually accept everything about the other person. Once the initial excitement has calmed down then some of that person's habits, at first so endearing, can become very irritating.

Compatibility between two people seems to apply on various levels eg:

Spiritual compatibility - do we share the same spiritual interest and goals?
Personal compatibility - are we comfortable with each other on a personal level?
Mental compatibility - do we share the same ideas and interests?
Emotional compatibility - do we nurture and support each other?
Physical compatibility - can we share the same space and do things together in a harmonious manner?
Sexual compatibility - is there that sexual spark of mutual attraction?

In relationships it is possible to be very compatible on some levels but very incompatible on other levels. For example, my ex and I are very compatible on spiritual, mental and emotional levels, but our personalities are very different and sharing the same space was very frustrating for both of us. We now live separately and are the closest of friends.

And for most people, the sexual spark and all the fireworks seems to fade with time and familiarity. It may be replaced by a new sense of companionship and commitment to family life. Maybe that is why affairs can be so potent - suddenly that sexual spark is re-awakened, and we rediscover something which had gone missing. But we have to recognise that if the affair goes on long enough then once again that spark may fade.

Relationships can be very complicated, but we learn so much from it all, whether with family, friends or lovers.

Peace.