I dislike most of the qualities of my mom.Is it a sin?

[Korvanta]

Originally Posted by Delsol

She may find you annoying too - thus the bossiness! Ha ha.

Some people believe we actually chose out parents before birth - consciously - to experience certain dynamics that will eventually lead to growth. With this in mind, I think it is positive that you are questioning your own emotions and actions. Imagine you chose this person to be your mom just as she is. What might you have expected to learn? Embrace that lesson - it is perhaps for you both!

If this is the case then I must have absolutely hated myself before birth.

[slowsnake]

Originally Posted by FrankieJG

I find her annoying.She is kind of too bossy.I do love her.But there are so many things about her which I hate.Even dad complaints about them.Is this a sin?She met with an accident lately.A small domestic accident and she is unable to walk for a couple of weeks.She needs her bed pan near her.I refuse to do that work.She is not disgusting to me.I am simply not comfortable.I feel ashamed of myself.I feel like I don't love my mom and I am doing a sin.I can't force myself to show her my love.

Hello,

NO!

Kind Regards Billy.

[shoni7510]

Originally Posted by Delsol

She may find you annoying too - thus the bossiness! Ha ha.

Some people believe we actually chose out parents before birth - consciously - to experience certain dynamics that will eventually lead to growth. With this in mind, I think it is positive that you are questioning your own emotions and actions. Imagine you chose this person to be your mom just as she is. What might you have expected to learn? Embrace that lesson - it is perhaps for you both!

I have heard that we choose our parents and everything about us like children, colour, race, place, friends, etc as we plan our lives to the last detail however some details are not visible to us. Having this in mind can help us a great deal in undertanding our current life circumstances.

[Miss Hepburn]

Ha! She is perfect for you!
She is showing you how 'not to be'...plus, much more!
Thank her...or God.

[olhosdeamendoa]

Originally Posted by FrankieJG

I find her annoying.She is kind of too bossy.I do love her.But there are so many things about her which I hate.Even dad complaints about them.Is this a sin?She met with an accident lately.A small domestic accident and she is unable to walk for a couple of weeks.She needs her bed pan near her.I refuse to do that work.She is not disgusting to me.I am simply not comfortable.I feel ashamed of myself.I feel like I don't love my mom and I am doing a sin.I can't force myself to show her my love.

Other people are just mirrors to ourselves.

And when we se something in someone else we dislike or not accept, it is because we are seeing a reflection or ourselves in them.

There are things in you that you don't like or not accepting, or maybe not loving yourself unconditionally.

This is not about your mother. This is about you.

Most often, our relatives and close family are the people that push our buttons the most because it's with them that we learned the biggest lessons about self-love.

So, stop looking at the external to your mother and look within you. It's time to do the work in yourself. And the more you do, the more you'll be able to accept your mother as she is.

She doesn't need to change, it's you who needs to evolve.

[olhosdeamendoa]

Originally Posted by FrankieJG

I find her annoying.She is kind of too bossy.I do love her.But there are so many things about her which I hate.Even dad complaints about them.Is this a sin?She met with an accident lately.A small domestic accident and she is unable to walk for a couple of weeks.She needs her bed pan near her.I refuse to do that work.She is not disgusting to me.I am simply not comfortable.I feel ashamed of myself.I feel like I don't love my mom and I am doing a sin.I can't force myself to show her my love.

Other people are just mirrors to ourselves.

And when we see something in someone else we dislike or not accept, it is because we are seeing a reflection or ourselves in them.

There are things in you that you don't like or are not accepting, or maybe not loving yourself unconditionally. Your mother is showing that to you, so be grateful for that.

This is not about your mother. This is about you.

Most often, our relatives and close family are the people that push our buttons the most because it's with them that we learn the biggest lessons about self-love.

So, stop looking at the external to your mother and look within you. It's time to do the work in yourself. And the more you do and love and accept yourself, the more you'll be able to accept your mother as she is.

She doesn't need to change, it's you who need to evolve.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Ha! She is perfect for you!
She is showing you how 'not to be'...plus, much more!
Thank her...or God.

Yes...that is so true. It's painful, but there are usually many lessons we learn, out of necessity, and of them can help us on our path.
I actually time and time again thank my father for getting me 3/4 of the way there on the path to equanimity and detachment and objectivity...and to bringing clarity and analytical thought to balance emotion. I always have done...nearly always. And it was a brutal and painful lesson and experience, growing up on sufferance and without an experience of warmth, love, and acceptance from a father.

But it made me strong and independent and self-assured in ways I see most women are not and are not allowed to or encouraged to be. I was completely the opposite...he barely gave a damn, LOL. And my choices were based on what were right for me and what gave me strength, since I had to be strong in myself from the get-go. There was no protective male figure behind me or beside me, and there was no warmth or conveyance of acceptance of me as a person. Rather, a lot of blame and resentment for my existence, and it was vented on me verbally nearly daily. He provoked me and even after I was on my own and to the present day, he often says outrageous or nasty things to try to provoke me, so that if I ever respond, he can just write me off entirely as disrespectful and ungrateful (I'm way too old to fall for that now, though, LOL)...funny after a lifetime of disciplining myself around him, it never works

Because I never spoke (thanks past life), not once, except when required to acknowledge him, I avoided beatings from him. Is this a bit harsh and cruel? Yes...but I learnt humility and how I am not only this body and this life...yet they are still mine to honour...I learnt how to bend and scrape to survive...and I learnt how to detach myself and how not to take it personally...in the truer, deeper sense.

Equally important, I have come to have a lot of love and compassion for him and I understand how in his own way and in his own time, he has done the best he could.

There is a hidden beauty and meaning in even the heaviest burdens...and great treasures emerge when we seek them here and allow compassion and forgiveness free, unbounded, and radical to reign/rain over our being...

Peace & blessings
7L

[Inika]

Originally Posted by FrankieJG

I find her annoying.She is kind of too bossy.I do love her.But there are so many things about her which I hate.Even dad complaints about them.Is this a sin?She met with an accident lately.A small domestic accident and she is unable to walk for a couple of weeks.She needs her bed pan near her.I refuse to do that work.She is not disgusting to me.I am simply not comfortable.I feel ashamed of myself.I feel like I don't love my mom and I am doing a sin.I can't force myself to show her my love.

Family are our greatest challenge. We can so easily love and be near people that feel good, make us feel good and are effortlessly easy. We learn from our challenges, about ourselves. Our tolerance levels, our acceptance levels, our boundaries. We get to see just how we are, our strength, our weakness and what we can work on to see less of it restricting us.
Family are excellent for this :)