my take on union

[july14]

with self, with them, with god. + law of permission, law of attraction, ego vs soul, how to let go and what is it that you are letting go of

a lot of stuff for one post you might think, but it really all comes down to one thing.

note: this is neither advice, nor rule or wisdom being spread. I'm not trying to tell anybody anything or claim what I perceive as being some ultimate truth. it is only MY truth, at this moment.

I think the biggest roadblock we put up for ourselves is when we identify the "me" as the body we inhabit. it is me to the extent where its a manifestation of my higher self in a humanly perceivable material body, but it is still not the true "me". the body is the ego. while we recognize the light part of the ego, which is necessary for survival (think of a walk late at night where you can chose between a well lit street and a dark alley. you need this part of your ego to guide you to the lit street and protect you from getting harmed in the dark alley), the ego is our friend. if we don't recognize the shadow of the ego that makes us cling onto our gender, our looks, profession, network, the money we make, the material success we have and so on, we fall into the trap of always experiencing some anxiety, fear, failure and so on.

when does the law of permission and law of attraction work? when you keep repeating things hoping they will happen, while deep down you doubt them? they certainly did not work for me in any of those instances. why? because we attach what we want to our physical body. to the shadow of the ego, which is not us, but a construction of fears, pain, bad programming and so on. and because deep down we know all this, we also don't believe in the shadow being able to attract anything but more shadow. we know all this, this is why we don't believe it :). what we often don't realize and even when we do, we find it hard to trust, is that the "me" we can touch and see with naked eyes, is just a manifestation of the real me. and by being just that, a lot of it can be changed at free will. and what cannot be changed about it, doesn't matter.

back to the topic of union. if we can come to a place of understanding that their rejection is just a reaction of their shadow ego to our shadow ego, we also understand that 1. we are never really being rejected. 2. if our shadow ego is being rejected, its only a matter of will from our end to change that shadow ego into something they can no longer reject. in the process, we also realize that us rejecting our own shadow ego, if done out of consciousness of who we really are, will take us back to our true self.

I've known mine for 2 years. and for two years I've been in fear of what he will say if I open up about how I feel. I've made some attempts before to come clean, but it was only now a week ago that I finally spoke openly. what this led me to was on one hand a release of stress and anxiety, and secondly to an understanding that no matter what I say, the words alone are not enough. he would listen, but the words would not sink in. not yet at least.
I also understood that in our case we are dealing with a traditional man/woman set up, where the role of the man is to articulate and define direction. and the role of the woman is to love in silence and allow the man to tap into that silence, understand and accept the love, hear what my heart desires w/o me having to vocalize it and come to point of completion within himself when he wants to serve , protect, look after me to feed that love in me, both for me and for himself.

this is my truth today and this is the first time for me in 2 years that I found some peace that I can tap back into when I feel the shadow ego sticking out its head and trying to throw me off balance.

[intj123]

Are you guys together? Or just speaking to each other? I mean are you in physical union?

[selene]

"if our shadow ego is being rejected, it is a matter of will, if we turn it into something he can no longer reject"...

I must stay here and I am hope I don't bring you out of your context. This is very powerful indeed and I have been struggling with that the last couple of weeks, because on one hand I believe love unconditionally means exactly that and should be two way -not me accepting him as he is and he waiting for me to change my shadow ego in order to love me.

A man I went out on a random date with about 6 months ago has been pursuing me this past month. At some point, after him giving me a very powerful compliment and me becoming increasingly impatient (I do not welcome the pursue), I did have to ask 'so if you think all these wonderful things about me are true, why did you not ask me out again sooner?' -it was not bitterness that made me ask, but rather a slight dismissal hoping he'd take the hint that 'it's not going to work out, we would have felt it right away'... instead of retreat, he proceeded to tell me how I changed in this time and gave me a couple of reasons why before he did not find me attractive and does now... it is true that I have done in the last year, exactly that: transform my ego manifestation to come closer to my real, true self... and keep transforming. I do not mean just physical changes here.

One of the things I changed about me was, I have thought for the past year (since he never gave me any reasons for running) an issue with twin. It was only then that I realized that while twin would welcome the change, it had never occurred to me until mentioned that it would cease his rejection. I have not communicated it with him (considering that we still talk occasionally) and this realization made me happy about what my bond with twin has brought in my life. His love and the pain of separation brought a lot of changes, but all happened based on the answer to a single question, after him: 'am I being true to myself here?'.

I have this feeling that twin will suddenly walk back in my life... as suddenly as he came in the first place and as suddenly as he left. A few months ago, I'd think about it and the possibility scared me to death -I don't think I could survive another time as our initial time together. It was pure bliss and absolute fear at the same time that he'd figure out I am not so amazing as he always claims I am, much like my premonition dream a few months before meeting him. Now, the question is not so much whether I will allow to reveal my real self to him... my real self has surfaced up and is present most of the time and somehow, that makes me find reunion a truly attractive option :)

[july14]

Originally Posted by intj123

Are you guys together? Or just speaking to each other? I mean are you in physical union?

Funny, my first reaction to ur question was, yes we are:).

We talk

[taurusnsane]

its true that we create our own worlds. its very neccessary to think positive and not fear losing what you have- materially or in other way.

btw i told my twin how i felt, i told everything. and also added that i cannot really 100% express myself because the feeling what i want to describe, is undescribable. he did not answer, but we saw eachother in some days after that and we didnt talk about it, but i saw from his eyes that he was happy. and i also felt free because i carried this "burden" on me, now that everything is out in the open, i feel more comfortable. if i had done it sooner, it would have been wrong because i would have wanted him to react and i would have been felt rejected etc. but now i better place and the best place i can be within myself.