Found out about a past life - now what?

[Delina]

Hi guys,

I went to a woman who told me about a past life that, according to her, is strongly connected to this life. Though I couldn't say for a fact that I actually lived the life she told me about, it rang true - big time!

For instance, I will go to great lengths to avoid imposing my opinion on others. According to this woman, I'm doing this so as not to be like my missionary parents, who I disapproved of in that former life. Problem is, this is actually quite disfunctional. I'm unable to express my opinions in a meeting, for example, which would feel like imposing my belief on others.

So ok. Now that I know the root of the problem, what do I do about it?

I'd be happy to hear anyone's suggests. Thanks!

[LadyMay]

Practice expressing your opinions in a healthy way :) Past lives aren't important to know if you can see what needs fixing anyway, but they are good for giving you a nudge in the right direction.

[ScorpCap]

Look into assertiveness training or maybe do some meeting role-play with a friend? Good luck!

[Delina]

Originally Posted by ScorpCap

Look into assertiveness training or maybe do some meeting role-play with a friend? Good luck!

Assertiveness training might help, but it's like taking a Tylenol instead of discovering what's causing the headache in the first place and dealing with that. So I've found the cause of the "headache" now I want to put that info to good use.

[Lynn]

Hello

While past lives often open the door to more questions than answers we can take something from them. Fear of speaking one's mind is a common place to be even if one does not have a past life connection to draw from.

We can be outward and assertive when dealing with a meeting but on the personal level we are very inward and quiet. We can at times take the stage and put on an act but that act does not reflect at all whom we truly are. Too many times in life we do not step forward as our self we try to be what others want us to be. We are individuals first and foremost. We hold in us the freedom of speech but too we have to remember that we also walk in a society setting that might not want to hear it in the way we put it forth. So choose the words carefully and take small steps forwards.

Lynn

[Delina]

My issue isn't exactly fear of speaking my mind.

In many situations (as a parent, as a partner, in a job interview, as a teacher) I feel fine and comfortable speaking my mind. No issue. In a tenents meeting (we're only 12 tenents), for example, I feel totally blocked, although logically I know I have the right to express my opinion.

The difference between those situations in which I have no blockage and those in which there's a real block is that I'm paralysed when I feel I might be imposing. In a job interview, the employer invited me in. They asked to hear what I have to say, so I'm not even nervous.

I myself could never figure out why I'm nervous in certain situation while not at all in something like a job interview, where it's the norm to be nervous. Now I realise that this fear of imposing myself, especially on a group, when not invited - that's the block.

And it all made sense after I heard about a life as the daughter of missionaries. Apparently, I sided with the natives and not with her/my parents. There were lots of other parts of the story that clicked (like having gone out of my way to study colonialism though it wasn't taught at my university - wrote a thesis on it).

Again, I'd like to put this information I uncovered to use, but how?

Maybe you could think of expressing your opinions at tennent meetings as helping someone else out. Like, imagine that there are others who wish they could speak up but can't so you are doing them a huge kindness and providing them with relief. It may take some "pretending" on your part to imagine someone else needing your help in this capacity but, after a while, it will just become habit.

[froebellian]

You've identified the lesson to learn, so now you learn. This must be done in your own way, to learn diplomacy and tact and also to know what to say and when and how to say it.

Why do you feel you are imposing your views when we are all entitled to express an opinion? That is only something you can deal with and slowly, to accept you have a right to express your views as others do.

[dryad]

You dont work on you... you work on her. I do this all the time in healings. You find a past life that is influencing the current life because it cant let go and move on. You work out what her primary motivation or emotion is. What is holding her here?

Perhaps she feels responsible for whatever damage her parents did to the community. Disease or damage to the traditional spiritual beliefs all because the parents decided that they knew what was best for them even though they were never asked to help.

Whatever her issue is help her resolve it. If she feels responsible give her compassion and forgiveness. Show her that her overprotectiveness needs to be balanced with self protection.

[Delina]

Thanks for adding your thoughts, froebellian and dryad.

Dryad, do you have any links to material on this topic that might be helpful?