Horrible meditation experience and after effects

[in progress]

I have never had a bad meditation but my thought about it has always been what Belle speaks of, really parts of yourself.

I probably do have a little repressed stuff to deal with, had a tendancy to do patch up jobs in past , although past two months i hav been acknowledging stuff and then letting it go,just didnt realise that it could cause physical pain in meditation. Thank you so much for your helpful views, really appreciated x

[Belle]

cally33 it's strange where we lodge past hurts - if you go for a really deep massage you release a load of toxins, very often past hurts, emotions - all hidden in the joints, the organs, the muscles - all carefully hidden away.

It's conceivable that you connected like this but I would be remiss by not saying you should consider getting yourself checked out by your doctor at the same time to rule out any physical cause.

Those faces may not even be a bad thing. In spirit death is just creation. I used to see them and so have some others and I think it may be old habits or samskaras falling away

Originally Posted by Niebla0007

Also, before you embarked on this,
how was your awareness doing?
You would have an idea as to weighting your fears (which may include the horrible manifestation you got and more)
against what you want to achieve.
I find reading about what I am into first before meditations helps,
with my main reason of it as to experience God.

It seems to me that (most) every response has said the exact same thing, in different ways. I respond to Niebla's (above) the best, but the message, IMHO, is that it is always better to develop your awareness (i would use mindfulness) BEFORE attempting to do any free, or "subtle-body stirring" meditation, as this will give you the space to observe, still through, or stop these kind of manifestations.

The second huge point is that even after attaining one-pointed concentration, it is still best to get an attunement (although I don't now that term, my tradition would call it Empowerment) from a teacher/Guru if one wants to start poking around with inner vibrations, inner heat, or any type of practice with an "open door" allowing manifestations free reign. For example, some lineages structure their liturgy or sadhanas or guided meditations so that the "free for all" part of the practice comes ONLY AFTER prayer, visualization, and actual "merging" of one's mind with the Archetypal Guru/God, who embodies your pure, unobscured true nature. I would lump "standard" yoga traditions in a similar catagory as well, since you are methodically lining up your vibrations and channels, winds, etc with your true nature FIRST.

The third and most vital point that has been made already but I feel the need to underscore is Intent. Why do you meditate? I doubt that your intention was originally to allow your focus/awareness to be carried like a kite by the myriad of energies that were created by other less-aware beings, cosmic and environmental events, as well as your own bad memories, fears, imaginations? No, those aren't you. So why let them carry you away? When you sit, try to meet God, or your true self, which I promise you is hardly tormented and suffering, but rather blissful, boundless space, permeated by clear light and manifesting compassion and satiated, all encompassing wisdom being.

The above poster is correct, in that these manifestations are NOT "You," as in the "God That You Truly Are," however if you are honest with yourself, even with pure intent we all have witnessed, and participated in pain and suffering that is simply too much to bear, and is so far detached from "truth" or "true beingness," that we don't have to sit and absorb more of it in my opinion. There are tried and true ways to harness the anger, fear, and unmoral desire, etc that we have naturally found to arise in ourselves, and turn that energy one-pointedly back at OUR OWN ignorance that causes pain, however YOU DEFF NEED A GURU!!!!

There are countless, timeless, and truly beautiful "blueprints" for safe investigation of your overall being, and some of them are created out of these lineages, yet do not require initiation. I would be careful just sitting down and seeing what horrible image and feeling from 10 years or 128 lifetimes ago is going to pop up. It's not you, and it won't help

Thank you again for all the replies, I attended a buddist meditation class last week cant say I felt much benefit from it but i will give it a try for abit longer.Doesnt seem to be much in the way of choice where I live that I can get to when not working. But yes i would like a teacher/ guru to help me, i know its essential so just need to find one now :-)

I met my guru online and her darshan helps me from 1000,s of miles away. If u seek you shall find, just pray with sincerity