How does one accept living a single life?

I'll be 32 years old next month (August) and I've never had a boyfriend...or a girlfriend. I'm now looking around at cousins I grew up with and guys I went to school with, and everyone has a wife/husband, a significant other, at least one child if not several, and has several long-term romantic relationships to look back on and smile from the joy it brought them at the time or the lessons they've leaned from a bad one or two.

I've always played catch-up, myself...I mean in just about every aspect of life, but this is something I've never really been able to catch up with. And I've always had people telling me "you will find that someone; don't give up" or that he would come when I stopped looking. And it seems the more I've tried to let it go the more restless I've gotten. Since I'm not straight, I realize my chances are even slimmer, being that gay men are more superficial and consider you to be and "old" man once you hit 30; you aren't cute anymore--by LGBT standards. I've always wanted to experience the exciting side of gay life (clubs, parties, friendships, safe but fun sexual memories, etc...), but since I've lived such a sheltered life and don't have my own house or car, I don't really fit into the status quo of what a "real man" should be...even by heterosexual or general social standards. Even though I'm working on these things, now, I got started too late and I feel like it's taking too long; as hard as I'm trying to become totally independent, I'm limited by circumstances and resources.

But regardless of whatever reasons I have for being in the position I'm in, time, indeed, waits on no man, and I'm still getting older and older...and by gay standards, I'm almost ancient history. I feel like I've missed out on a lot--real talk--but I know I can't go back in time and change anything. I'm like the ultimate hopeless romantic, and that's what keeps me hoping. But I've been trying to figure out how to let go of this dream that one day I'll fall in love with a man who loves me just as much, or that he'll find me. I mean I'd think it would be as simple as "just accept it" but that hasn't seemed to work, because it's always in the back of my mind and it's irritating...frustrating...annoying. How does one get rid of the nagging desire to be loved and just fall in love with being single? I don't want to accept it temporarily, just for the sake of maybe having it fall in my lap one day, because all that does is encourage me to keep hoping. I really would just like to let go of the hope altogether, and be satisfied with it.

[Lynn]

Hello

There are many ways to meet someone and it does not matter on the age honestly it just at times happens.

I will share my story as I honestly know now that I am in LOVe I never was with my mate of 33 years. I met him and gave him my virginity in that I was raised you do that you stay that course til death parts you ( even though we never married ) . I stayed that course and I have been true to the relationship, but LOVe found me in the oddest of ways.

I was not looking nor was he looking it just happened. We met on SF some 5 years ago now, and became good friends and I was happy as was he in that space. He spent a year here in Canada with me the mate and my kids....to have to return to England. In that having to go back LOVe found us.....we were not looking.

Never give up that romantic heart in not looking I fell in LOVe in not looking the man I will be getting married to fell in LOVe and the bonus is he gets a family he never had even in his childhood.

Never let go of hope and no matter how old on is never stop looking......

Lynn

[Astro]

In my experience it's not about wanting to be loved, it's about wanting to give love, about having love to give.

[Emmalevine]

Hi Fire

I feel for you but don't give up hope. I was in a tough marriage for six years and had about 3 very short (as in weeks) relationships, but otherwise have been single and lived alone for many years. I've just started a relationship this year and it's going well so far. I'm inclined to agree with Astro that relationships - or at least healthy ones - are about giving rather than meeting a need. It took me a long time to focus on what i could give to a relationship due to my childhood deprivation. I needed to heal from that. Not saying this is an issue for you, but making peace with being single is truly the healthiest thing to do for yourself and any future partner you have. It was when my physical and emotional health improved and I got myself a canine companion that I made peace with being on my own. I started to see the positives in it and enjoy my solitude. Ironically, that was when I met someone. The good thing is I don't NEED my boyfriend and I am still happy alone when he's not with me, but I enjoy his companionship.

Maybe accepting your situation as it is today will bring about a positive change in your feelings towards relationships. It is hard being alone sometimes, there;s no denying it, but it can also be very healing.

Once you're happy in yourself you'll be surprised at what will come your way. Keep working on yourself and make the most of every opportunity you get to socialise. You're not the only person who has ever felt like this. Don't give up on love

Just make out with a whole bunch of guys thats what I do... Helps the loneliness for the moment. Guys always want more but you can always run when they try

[joyfirst]

Just like with manifesting anything, the more desperate you are, the less likely you will manifest it. Find any way you can to lighten up about it.
First, the love you are looking for is not outside of you, but inside. Connect to that love, and when you radiate that love, you will be very attractive to others as well. Practice loving yourself unconditionally. Do Louise Hay mirror work and similar things.

I am sort of in a similar situation.

I have been lonely. Never had a girlfriend or a relationship, which I really desire. I really desire to find a nice girl and have a relationship and marriage. I never had any trouble loving others and helping and nuturing them.

It sort of hurts me deeply being single. It is sort of funny when people say you need to love yourself first to find someone. I doubt that. The upside would that being alone is not for everyone. Calmness and strength is needed being alone and having no one to understand you.

And now with the ascension awakening and being 26, it makes me nervous. I desire to find a girl. Most girls I see around love sleeping around while being in relationships and that makes me think that perhaps it is better being single if there is no loyalty in a relationship. One thing I have noticed is that, people who are selfish and in general dont care about others do seem to be in relationships than others.

I hope my classes in dancing and martial arts bring me some positive results.

[Renessme]

If you make friends with yourself, you will never be alone. So says the saying. I think tajts true, when i was 26 until recently i have obsessed about wanting to find the right one, get married, im getting old, what to do what to do, i dont wanna be forever alone, were my usual monologues lol however, its because of that mindset that attracted to me relationships that werent marriage material, i was in a hurry to fall in love, i was in a hurry for my happy ever after for fear that it will pass me by. This is especially pressuring if you have relatives asking when you are you getting married each time that they see you. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me and that is the reason why i remain single.

Until my awakening, i was told to love myself. I tried so hard at first because i used to secretly hate myself. I was my worst critic. But finding myself through spirituality, doing some shadow work and in essence working on myself, i slowly fell in love with myself. I am discovering myself everyday. Learning new things, making myself a better person. I am changing those that i can and embracing tjose that i cant. Not for any man, but for myself. And everyday i am finding more reasons why i should love me. The love i diacover for myself goes deeper and deeper.

I truly believe that the universe is going to mirror this same love for me. It could be in a form of a partner or even if not i am happy. And i hope i remain in this state of mind and avoid all the preasure from society. Yes i am no longer afraid to stay single though if youd ask me of course id prefer a married life, i want kids! I want a family and i also truly believe that this desire will not be put in my heart if it will not be given to me.

[Renessme]

Double entry