Readings out of whack

[kindheart]

So I've been doing tarot readings to see how to move on from my ex, what to expect in terms of getting involved in a fullfilling romantic relationship in the future, what I can do to increase those opportunities to finding the right kind of love, etc. We broke up in July, we're off and on since May. He still tried to get me back and hasn't really let me move on. I was doing fine until I almost gave in but he ended up hurting me again. He has a history of lying, being unfaithful, depending on me for everything, anger and addiction issues... I wish we could stay friends and I miss his son dearly, but I get hurt too easily these days.

Anyway, my readings about future romance aren't very optimistic, except with regards to my ex.. it's as if I'm the one who's being irrational and unfair and rigid, that I should give him another shot, etc. It's super discouraging, and going back to him makes no sense. I was depressed and cried all the time when I was with him. Even now he still finds ways to play with my heart, asks for money and other favours, gets angry when I say no, etc.

What's going on?!?

I just wanna be happy and hopefully find a beautiful, kind man, sooner or later... I'm already 34, so I think I can soon say goodbye to having kids. But I think I'm ok with that. I'm content alone, less stressful. But I wish to be happy in love and hope I don't have to wait years for that :(

It sounds as though you're not in the right headspace at the moment to be objective in your readings.
From your post, I feel you are still trying to work through the break up and dealing with the conflicting emotions you feel about your ex. Readings at this time, about future relationships, are going to be muddied and confusing, as the cards are reflecting the turmoil you're dealing with regarding your ex. This is validated by the fact that you state

it's as if I'm the one who's being irrational and unfair and rigid, that I should give him another shot.

If this is how you feel, then you need to work through this first before contemplating what a new relationship would look like.
The cards will give you answers with this undertone running through it (remember a reading is based on a snapshot of the current energies)
May I suggest the you forget about doing relationship readings for the time being and focus your readings on your healing. If you want to do readings on other subjects, make them on more mundane day to day things until you feel you have your mojo back.

[FairyCrystal]

Totally agree with Pisces.
Law of Attraction brings you these confusing readings and show you you aren't over your ex yet. Which also shows in your posting.
And you broke up only 4 months ago! You cannot expect to be ready for a new relationship that fast. Give yourself time to recover and find your feet again.
Like Pisces I'd also want to suggest not doing love readings for a while, however tempting it may be.
And kids... I get you'd want them before you get much older, but as for not being able to get them anymore.. you're only 34! I'm 51 and I can still have kids... By which I mean to say: don't rush and push yourself because you fear the clock is ticking. Trust the Universe in this. You are only 34!

Good luck and take care of yourself

[kindheart]

Thanks to you two... I guess I tend to feel down and lonely when Christmas is approaching. And my friend didn't make me feel very good by saying I should forget about kids, that time was already up, unless I want a kid with developmental problems given my age.

About that part you quoted, Pisces Moon, I just wanted to make sure you know I don't believe that. But it's what the cards seemed to say, which is why I felt they were so wrong.

I just feel bummed. I don't often make the right choices in love. The good guys who are interested in dating me, I'm not at all romantically attracted to. Hoping my luck will change.

[Clover]

34 is young, you got plenty of time and options as well! Especially in this ever changing technological health age we are in...



To add, u want a loving, stable, and healthy partner to co parent with. Believe in yourself and trust that you can do better!!

[SaturninePluto]

Originally Posted by kindheart

Thanks to you two... I guess I tend to feel down and lonely when Christmas is approaching. And my friend didn't make me feel very good by saying I should forget about kids, that time was already up, unless I want a kid with developmental problems given my age.

About that part you quoted, Pisces Moon, I just wanted to make sure you know I don't believe that. But it's what the cards seemed to say, which is why I felt they were so wrong.

I just feel bummed. I don't often make the right choices in love. The good guys who are interested in dating me, I'm not at all romantically attracted to. Hoping my luck will change.

Hi KindHeart, realize you are going through some things, but despite this, hope you are doing well.

I too am 34. I have not had a male female boyfriend girlfriend relationship, in more than several years. Oh I have had other things. Indeed. I have had rejections, liking someone only to have them stab me in the back- because they had been friends- who when they found out I had liked them- turned tail and talked poorly of me to others, my very family in fact. And that's the nicer part of it, other than that I have had men show interest in what is not me, if you get what I am saying. Interested mainly in sex. If I wanted sex I'd have sex, all I have to do is to go outside in my neighborhood to get taken advantage of, but that isn't even sex. It's hatefulness.

I have thought it has to do with me. That I must be ugly, not worthy of a loving relationship. I have felt unattractive. And then when a man usually my brother or any of his friends tells me I am attractive and pretty- what the hell am I suppose to think? So then I wonder- do I have a horrible personality???? I don't get it. My brother will tell me I am aggressive and intimidating... and men don't like that. I am "too belligerent". Then he says though that any man would be lucky to have me. He told me one time- you're really intelligent you know.

My grandfather did not help me much in my perceptions of men either. When I was a child growing up he would constantly ask me why I am so ugly. Now when a man tells me I am pretty not only do I hardly believe it- but even when I do believe they are at least being honest about that- I see right through it- deep down straight through the bull to what it really is they want from me.

I know very well how difficult it is to find a happy and genuinely loving relationship. I have had a couple boyfriends, and I never really felt the relationship was real, and true. I loved them and they I.

What I have come to find is that if I am looking for a man to make me happy. I had better stop. That isn't to say happy healthy relationships don't exist, because I very well have eyes to see and be aware of others enjoying such relationships. They do.

But I am also well aware that looking for someone else to make me happy...(?) as if they deep down really have a say in that or could somehow magically control that, or make that happen? No my friend. My own happiness, your own happiness is my and your responsibility in kind.

We are the ones who have completely and total ownership over how we feel. We are the ones feeling whatever it is we are feeling. We are the only ones capable of changing it, or creating it.

Our feelings are our very own.

You are capable Kindheart of having a happy, healthy, loving relationship and moving on from your ex (Remember in difficult times, our exes are our exes for a reason. There is a very real reason the both of you had parted, if you were both very well happy together you would still in fact be with each other- that is-Happy Together- not so much making each other happy).

You are capable of a loving happy relationship with a man. More importantly than you can probably imagine or perhaps be able to believe right now, you are capable truly of being happy genuinely, respectfully, honorably with yourself, Even when you are alone.

That is what I wanted to say to you.

Your ex is your ex, for a reason. You can be happy, with or without a man, significant other in your life. It is not an easy path to walk. Honestly I truly wish everyone had somebody out there who loves them. Lord knows I'm tired of talking to myself.

Whether you find someone or not, I wish you all the happiness in the world. That includes respecting yourself, and not standing for being mistreated by anyone for anything.

Truth be told also, why is it you feel children if not had naturally soon, are completely a non option? You could adopt. It is a difficult option, and situation, it is actually I feel often more difficult for the child. But it is an option.

Apologies for the winded post here.

Stopping in to say, take care of yourself.

[Carnelian2]

A male perspective- I am 53 and all of a sudden find myself facing a divorce, perhaps not unexpected- I have been trying to change things over the last six months or so but am having to concede that it’s is too little too late.
To the points made earlier, I have been using the cards to gain insights into what is going on and have found that they have helped me realise the anguish, I am going through- unexpectedly- as I usually take things in my stride. Maybe this just and rightly a pointer that I should take the time to heal. In any case, I have found the cards hugely beneficial on this journey so far. I do not really take much notice of the outcomes but more the patterns, predominant suit, etc.

I hope that helps

[moonincancer]

Originally Posted by kindheart

Thanks to you two... I guess I tend to feel down and lonely when Christmas is approaching. And my friend didn't make me feel very good by saying I should forget about kids, that time was already up, unless I want a kid with developmental problems given my age.

About that part you quoted, Pisces Moon, I just wanted to make sure you know I don't believe that. But it's what the cards seemed to say, which is why I felt they were so wrong.

I just feel bummed. I don't often make the right choices in love. The good guys who are interested in dating me, I'm not at all romantically attracted to. Hoping my luck will change.

It is very sad that your friend said that about having kids. Its not true at all. You need to direct some loving and accepting energies towards yourself. Walk, smell the flowers, take a holiday whatever works: pamper and heal yourself. I agree with all the good advice that has been given here. You can also choose this time to work with other mediums of divination: oracle cards for example and focus the questions on self healing rather than relationships. The healing will attract better relationships and not vice versa. You could also try working with crystals. See if you are comfortable with rose quartz and larimar.And if it is any consolation quite a few of us make stupid choices in love. Its supposed to be a step in our evolution I guess (not that I enjoy that at all;))
Take care

[moonincancer]

Also, I can relate to the not being attracted to the people who are actually good for us. That comes from childhood patterns of relationships usually with the father. Was the father/father figure emotionally unavailable or abrasive? Or any other questions that are worth exploring in order to make sense of recurring relationship patterns.
Best