How to Heal the Closed Heart

[Klaatu24]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sounds like a depth that's awfully hard to get out of. The other posts here have wonderful advice.

At a talk once, the speaker said, if you have a hard time feeling love, then try to feel appreciation. That deep appreciation with your feelings is similar to love.

I thought that might be a smaller step for you by trying to feel appreciation, while on your way back to feeling love.

Also, I don't know if this fits, but it sounds like trusting people might also be hard to feel. I'm not sure if that's true or not. (From my past abuse I don't think I'll ever trust anyone.) But another class I took, people asked something like, how can you be spiritual AND trust people without being taken advantage of. And the speaker said, trust that the person will act in the same way as they did in the past. I really like the way she said that. Of course, people can change, but the way she talked about trust made it seem much more manageable.

I don't know if any of this will help. Please keep us posted on how you're doing, ok?

[CaraMG]

Hi Dear,
I feel the heartache and pain in your words. I think you need to give yourself some time and be gentle and easy with yourself. Try and be alone for a while and really work through all those feelings so that when you do meet the next person for you, you are ready.

I haven't been through the kind of situation you have, but I have been through my fair share or heartache and self-doubt and hatred, and here is the one thing that truly changed everything for me: a dating book by Lola Jones!

It's called "Dating to Change Your Life" and it's all about gaining back your confidence, loving yourself, and truly digging deep to find out the things you want and NEED in a relationship. Once you know those things, Lola teaches you how to attract the right person for your needs. This book helped me so much coming out of some bad relationships, and the results have been amazing. She has a whole community following behind her teachings and now I'm reading all her other books and changing my life!

I just really wanted to share with you in case this could be something you're searching for right now. It helped me get my life back, and I hope it can help you too! Sending lots of love!

Cara