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  #31  
Old 28-03-2018, 12:16 AM
Nameless Nameless is offline
Master
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Over the Rainbow
Posts: 2,729
 
Are you my sister? (that thought popped in my head when I was reading about your family FYI - remember the book, are you my mother? Well, anyway...there was 7 of us as well. Does sound like your mother was a doosey. Mine was more alcoholic haze. I admire her because she raised all of us and put a nice roof over our heads by going to work every day, and my father was no help in the money department, but when she came home, she was done and collapsed in her chair and her and my step father would drink. They didn't always get drunk, but she was not available. My older brother and sister basically raised us, mostly, but as a mom, and a working mom and knowing how hard it was to raise 2 kids, I cannot imagine raising 7. And once the kids were raised, she became a much better mother and was there for me when I needed her. She actually gave me my profession, making me work for her when I was 16. I still do that type of work, and it helped feed my family all these years. So, lots of love to Mom :) But growing up was difficult, because there really was no one there for us. Latch key kids they used to call us.

My main abandonment was with my Dad. I have gotten over it and forgiven him. He has long passed on, and I go visit him. I created a room for him in my vortex (Abraham guided me when I did that - it was amazing) and have visited once or twice. To be fair, some people just don't now how to be parents. Their generation had lots of kids, but had no parenting classes apparently LOL.

I was a very fearful child. I always played by the rules and can't remember ever breaking one. I was good at school, and I was praised for my beauty. Imagine, being about 13 and everyone calling you beautiful. It should be banned, because then I believed that was all there was to me, that was all anyone noticed. It really was a curse to a shy child who doesn't really want anyone noticing them.

Strange how our lives begin. What we choose to have to overcome. I really shouldn't blame my parents, when I now believe I signed up for all of that on the other side before I got here....what was I thinking LOL?

But it took me many years to finally become myself, and it was hard won.

I came to a point last year where I told myself, I am going to face any remaining fears I have left, because why not? Boy, I really shouldn't have said that. Isn't it strange what we fear?

I recently ran across Dolores Cannon - and I feel in love instantly. She reminds me of my mother in law. A week after I found her on you tube I discovered she had passed away in 2014. I was sad. But if you haven't listened to her, when you get a spare 2 hours, she is worth a listen. Fascinating stuff and everything I am learning right now. And apparently she wrote lots of books.

But her bottom line is get rid of Karma and Fear.

Karma you can get rid of with Forgiveness. Fear - I'm guessing here, I don't think I've got her remedy for fear. Facing my fears is the one I use, and it's horrible and I hate it, but it works. I am no longer shy. I don't think I"m ready for Toastmasters (I did attend a few of them, but so not my style!) but I am not afraid to talk to anyone. I have grown so much. But I am still working through my fears. Sigh.

I should do the Soul Love meditation of fearful self. I did that once and it was awesome. I should do it again and see what else comes up. Thanks. I think I'll save it for vacation when I have more time.

I wish I had more to offer on fear. I guess it is time to do more research, cuz I am really ready to heave it overboard.

You could never overload me. I enjoy these chats. Sorry if it is derailing your thread. So on that topic, since you are reading him, you look up fear and see what he says about it, and I'll channel him and see what he says about it, and we'll compare notes :)

Unfortunately your list of words didn't bring anything up for me. But I know you said that you sometimes find out later what they mean, so for sure don't forget to share!

Michael - as in ArchAngel Michael? I don't know of any other Michael's. My daughter channels him. I could possibly too, I channeled ArchAngel Raziel not too long ago for someone and that was so amazing - short, but amazing. I have channeled Metatron a few times for people. He was very interesting.

Funny, I always forget I can channel and ask questions for myself. I don't know why I forget.

I'll look the book up and see if it calls to me. I think my husband is the scholar. I like puzzles, and I'm learning to like research - sort of - but it is not a grand passion of mine.

I am glad to hear you are ok after falling down the stairs! Oh my. Sore is much better than broke something.

You can put protection around your stairs. My daughter did that AFTER she broke her foot. It is probably better to do it before. You can also put it around your house and your car, etc etc.
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  #32  
Old 28-03-2018, 02:34 AM
Dee47 Dee47 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 428
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
Are you my sister?
yes! Yes, let's be sisters! yes, yes, yes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
Mine was more alcoholic haze. I admire her because she raised all of us and put a nice roof over our heads by going to work every day, and my father was no help in the money department, but when she came home, she was done and collapsed in her chair and her and my step father would drink. They didn't always get drunk, but she was not available. My older brother and sister basically raised us, mostly, but as a mom, and a working mom and knowing how hard it was to raise 2 kids, I cannot imagine raising 7. And once the kids were raised, she became a much better mother and was there for me when I needed her. She actually gave me my profession, making me work for her when I was 16. I still do that type of work, and it helped feed my family all these years. So, lots of love to Mom :) But growing up was difficult, because there really was no one there for us. Latch key kids they used to call us.

You have a very good attitude. Good for you being able to see how your mom has helped you with your work. And realizing how hard it would have been to raise 7 kids. My mother had 3 kids by the time she was 21, when I had 1 at that age. I found it very challenging, especially financially. I could have never raised 7 kids. She had the last four starting when I was fourteen, and there were times, when I was in my twenties, that I ended up watching all four for her. It about drove me out of my mind! I couldn't stand all the noise and chaos. They were good kids.

I don't think my mother is a sociopath, though she might be. But she is definitely a narcissist. I guess I am still mad at her, not so much because of the way she raised us, but because she hasn't changed. I hate that she never takes responsibility for her behavior. And I hate that she is cruel and seems to enjoy inflicting that cruelty on others. I feel compassion for the suffering she has endured. Last time I saw her was in 1997. I saw a picture of her the other day on Facebook. She has aged, of course, and looks like a sweet little old lady, but I don't believe that's who she is. Still, when I saw that picture, I felt a pang of love for her that surprised me.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
My main abandonment was with my Dad. I have gotten over it and forgiven him. He has long passed on, and I go visit him. I created a room for him in my vortex (Abraham guided me when I did that - it was amazing) and have visited once or twice.

You do some pretty amazing things! Yay for you!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
I was a very fearful child. I always played by the rules and can't remember ever breaking one. I was good at school, and I was praised for my beauty. Imagine, being about 13 and everyone calling you beautiful. It should be banned, because then I believed that was all there was to me, that was all anyone noticed. It really was a curse to a shy child who doesn't really want anyone noticing them.

Aw Sweetie, so proud of you for working through so much stuff.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
Strange how our lives begin. What we choose to have to overcome. I really shouldn't blame my parents, when I now believe I signed up for all of that on the other side before I got here....what was I thinking LOL?

Yeah. I believe that, too now. That we chose this. When I first encountered that idea I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Why would anyone choose that kind of childhood? But now it kinda makes sense. I see how my childhood has taught me things, let me experience things. And I'm proud of the choices I've made from the beginning I've had. Most of them, anyway. And I'm proud of my growth.

But I really can't imagine being my mother. I would never want to be someone like that--someone who deliberately hurts others. It's clear to me how she has made her life pretty horrible, and I feel compassion for that, but don't know how to help her. I don't think she CAN be helped because she doesn't want it, or maybe she does, but she can't relinquish control to try something new. I remember she asked me for help once. There was all this sincerity in her voice and on her face. I saw what she was doing (in a particular situation) and I knew it was wrong, but I had no idea how to explain it to her. Now I realize she was asking me to tell her something she could have never listened to.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
I came to a point last year where I told myself, I am going to face any remaining fears I have left, because why not? Boy, I really shouldn't have said that. Isn't it strange what we fear?

This paragraph really cracked me up. I laughed out loud.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
Facing my fears is the one I use, and it's horrible and I hate it, but it works.


Ditto. I hate it, too. Ugh. I was very shy as a child, too, and yet I ended up teaching for 26 years. That was very hard, but I told myself I didn't have a choice, and so I did it and did it and did it until it didn't scare me so much any more. I used to type up everything I was going to say and a lot of times I would read off my notes without knowing what I was saying because I was so scared. Eventually I got to the point where I could actually THINK in front of the class. It was a process. I guess I can be proud of the progress I made there, too, but since I haven't been scared in such a long time, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
I wish I had more to offer on fear. I guess it is time to do more research, cuz I am really ready to heave it overboard.

I don't! I don't want to work on it. I just want it to go away. Actually, I think I have made lots and lots and lot of progress, but I do know of more areas that need work.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Nameless
You could never overload me. I enjoy these chats. Sorry if it is derailing your thread. So on that topic, since you are reading him, you look up fear and see what he says about it, and I'll channel him and see what he says about it, and we'll compare notes :)

I enjoy these chats too. I've thought we could email to each other, or send pms, but that would just clutter up our mail boxes. I'd rather talk about whatever we want to than stick to the thread topic. I will have to look up what Seth says about fear, but not sure when. Maybe I'll get to it tomorrow. We'll see.

I fell down the stairs to avoid stepping on my dog. I was taking her out for her walk, but she was trying to avoid the apartment cleaning lady, who was vacuuming, and so she pulled away from me, I stepped on her when she moved backwards, and then, to avoid stepping on her again, I ended up falling down the stairs. Thinking about it afterwards, I was happy that I made that choice--to save her rather than myself. She's only 6 pounds--maybe 7?--so she's much more fragile than I am. But I am very sore today.
I ran out to Wal-mart and noticed that with pretty much every step I was grunting (in pain).

As far as the words, I think "soaked" and "bathtub" were referring to my fall. I decided not to take a bath last night because anything that touched my skinned areas really hurt. But I think I WILL take a bath and soak tonight. I don't know what any of the other stuff refers to.

From the introduction of Michael: The Basic Teachings "We are an 'entity' of 1050 souls who lives our Physical Plane lives on this planet."

The 7 roles are: priest, sage, king, scholar, warrior, artisan, server.

I'm in a fair amount of pain, so I am going to end this and hop in a hot tub. I suppose I could take an advil. I always forget that choice.
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  #33  
Old 28-03-2018, 07:14 AM
Dee47 Dee47 is offline
Experiencer
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 428
 
I'm not sure how much I like the Michael stuff. The particular book I mentioned is by Aaron Christeann, JP Van Hulle, and M.C. Clark. You can find much of the stuff in that book online.

I guess it kind of bugs me that it is so...geometrical, so precise. And yet, there is such geometry and precision in the universe.

It was kind of fun to be able to "find myself" in the various components.

In the first part of the book we find out about the various planes of existence.
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  #34  
Old 28-03-2018, 12:38 PM
Nameless Nameless is offline
Master
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Over the Rainbow
Posts: 2,729
 
" I guess I can be proud of the progress I made there, too, but since I haven't been scared in such a long time, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal."

Yes - this is great! Fear is only a mental concept that we build up to be this big, scary thing. Like a door and what's behind that door is scary monsters, when in reality, if we open the door and walk through it, we deal with what is on the other side of the door until it no longer scares us, and then it's like, why was I afraid of that? It's like hard to remember.

I just remembered an Abraham saying. If you can think of fear as "feeling eager and ready," it is based on the concept that fear is just a feeling, or starts with a feeling. And when we were little, someone told us that feeling is what fear feels like, but what if they were wrong? What if that feeling really was eagerness? So every time we are feeling eager about something, if we labeled it fear now all of our eagerness is fear. Hope that makes some sense, I am sure they said it more eloquently...but I liked that.

And Joy is hiding behind all of our fears. I believe Seth said that. And that I believe. That has been true for me. If I can take that time - between opening the door and "dealing" with whatever I have to do that is behind that door and the time it takes to be in Joy that I can now do that thing that I feared before with grace and ease - and shorten it to just, ok I did it once, now I am no longer afraid, wouldn't that be nice? My husband always used to tell me, they can't eat you. And it wasn't until much later in life that I really understood what he was saying.

I think fear is that place that is hooked to our "animal instincts" where things that were much bigger than we are could've eaten us LOL. So our ego minds, over the millenia, have helped us by putting fear in front of whatever it perceived as things that could eat us and it evolved into our "modern" society in ways that it was really not intended to be used.

So I am feeling eager and ready...it's a good mantra.
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  #35  
Old 28-03-2018, 01:26 PM
Dee47 Dee47 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 428
 
You're so funny. Yesterday you said you wish you had more to offer on fear and look at all this!
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  #36  
Old 29-03-2018, 10:08 PM
Dee47 Dee47 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 428
 
I had stuff to post but I've been doing some very much needed cleaning and organizing and now I am brain dead and bone weary. So, until I recover, I am going to be pretty quiet.
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  #37  
Old 30-03-2018, 01:02 AM
Nameless Nameless is offline
Master
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Over the Rainbow
Posts: 2,729
 
I'm tired too. I am trying to get ready for vaca after working all day and it's a challenge - I'll have more time next week. Hope your feeling better today.
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