help with the bereved

Hi lovely SF members
I was not sure where to put this but hope you can help.
A dear friend of the family sadly lost her fight against cancer. Throughout her battle she was strong, courageous and lived a very spiritual life. We all loved her very much and she will be greatly missed but my sister was especially close to her.
They had been friends for twenty years and shared both of their spirtual journeys and many great memories together. My sister was very strong and gave a reading at Debbies funeral, helped with all the arrangements and basically amazed us all with her ability to smile and spread warmth to those so very upset with her passing.
Now that has changed, my sister has withdrawn and is very down. I have talked to her but cant seem to get through to her. I remind her that Deb would not want to see her this way but it doesnt make any difference. She carries a lot of guilt and is very involved with Debs teenage children as my sister feels responsible for them.
I would like to ask you lovely people to send healing thoughts to my sister but also any advice on what to say to her to bring her back to her own family too for christmas time.

Much love, peace, and wishes to you all
x

[Native spirit]

Hey Whispers,


Sending Healing and positive thoughts coming to your sister.


Namaste

healing and prayers sent to your sister whispers shes grieving at the moment but it wont be to long before she will be her self again it take a bit of time but she will pull through this time with her friend by her side and the white feathers she will drop in front of her
many blessing angel

There's no timetable for experiencing grief. It differs with each individual. Hopefully, your sister will start feeling better soon. About all you can do is be available for her, should she wish to unburden herself at some point.

[norseman]

I gave this as a reading at a recent funeral. It seemed to touch a few people. Something from Gibran


On Death
Kahlil Gibran

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.


In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?


For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?


Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

[Adrienne]

Dear whispers

I am sorry for the loss of your dear friend of the family, Debbie. My thoughts and prayers are with her family, with your family and with your sister . May you all find some comfort in the knowing that Deb is always and forever in your hearts and in your memories.

healing thoughts and prayers for your sister, for you and for your family

love, peace & blessings to you all,
Dream Angel xx

[Xan]

whispers... If it were me I would give up trying to get your sister into a different frame of mind, and gently accept her as she is right now. This will give her more support than anything else you might do. People need time to go through the 'down' phase of grieving in order to gradually heal and rise above again.

Also, I would probably give her a book to help her understanding of what happens after death, and how beloved spirits may communicate with us... such as "True Stores of Messages from Beyond" by Julie Aydlott.


Xan

Originally Posted by Xan

whispers... If it were me I would give up trying to get your sister into a different frame of mind, and gently accept her as she is right now. This will give her more support than anything else you might do. People need time to go through the 'down' phase of grieving in order to gradually heal and rise above again.

Also, I would probably give her a book to help her understanding of what happens after death, and how beloved spirits may communicate with us... such as "True Stores of Messages from Beyond" by Julie Aydlott.


Xan

This is good advice. As one who has suffered bereavement, I must respectfully offer up another awareness. Books that speak of what happens after death and describe the after-life simply do not cut it for one who is struggling under the blanket of pain that accompanies loss of a loved one. The only thing that can begin to lift that unfathomable sorrow and suffering... that can begin to heal the aching void inside... is the actual experience of being out of body one's self, or receiving clear communications from those who have crossed into spirit. Nothing else will suffice to validate the reality of the continuation of life after the body has ceased to exist.

[Xan]

For sure, LightFilledHeart... There is nothing like an actual out of body experience.

On the other hand, many people do find reassurance and comfort in stories of messages from beyond death, and allow an opening to this communication themselves.


Xan

[Silver]

I am truly sorry for your loss, I am going through it for my son who died in February of this year. Yes, you just have to be gentle with her, there is no need to feel anxious for her to 'get through' or 'get over' it, especially in light of this being the core of the holiday season. And norseman, that was a very choice reading for the funeral. I may use it in the future if and when I have a scattering of my son's ashes.