Letting go

[Rsandee]

When I first met you, I could've never imagined the things I would feel for you later, that you would steal my heart. I was always looking for my soulmate, my perfect girlfriend, the one who would truly love me. I would search for it, wish for it, pray for it, it was my motivation for everything. When we first began talking, it was out of nowhere. There was no doubt of the bond we had, even then we could feel the things we had in common. Months passed as I would look to others and fail to see that what I was searching for was right under my nose. At last I gave in, our love happened organically and in the most unexpected way possible. We were perfect for eachother, we were the love of both of our lives. You were everything I was searching for, as I was everything you didn't even know you wanted. Eventually you couldn't take it anymore, you felt smothered by love, everyone seemed to tire you suddenly, you said you would prefer to be alone, that relationships aren't for you, you weren't ready. You broke up with me and I struggled to let you go, but now I'm ready. Our love was real, our connection was undeniable. True love has a habit of coming back, if our hearts really are connected then we will find our way back when we truly need it, without looking for it. Just like before.

I'm letting you go.

I'm afraid I will always "secretly" hope she will return to me, but I'm trying my hardest to let her go and realise this is the greatest lesson I've ever learned.
Everything happened so fast, she was the perfect storm.

[CrystalSong]

Amen. Perfectly said.

It's saddening when it concerns other people - but don't some people tend to explore, then when (they think) they've mapped the whole thing out, lose interest and move on?

Others though try to build on what they've discovered if it's good, they acknowledge each other.

♥

[Rsandee]

I don't believe that's what happened at all.
This wasn't the right time, we knew that when we started, but we underestimated the significance and scale of it. This whole thing was long distance and we both still have lots to achieve academically. She doesn't have the freedom or time to deal with relationships, coupled with the face that they just tire her out completely. If this was real, which I believe it is, we will try it again.

This is the hardest part because I have to let someone go with who I'm 100% compatible as far as I know. But love is like a fingerprint or scar isn't it? We can try to find someone else that fits the glove but if this was real then there should be no one else that can replace either of us. Or from a religious viewpoint, if it's meant to be it will return.

Either way I have to let it go, I support whatever she chooses to do with her life.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Rsandee

This is the hardest part because I have to let someone go with who I'm 100% compatible as far as I know.

The trick is to look within and figure out the 50% of the reason for the breakup that you were responsible for. Once you switch the blame-focus from her to you, she just might start warming up to you again. That's what can happen when partners feel they're no longer being judged and condemned by the other.

Every relationship is two people. Every broken relationship is because of two people.

[Rsandee]

Alright, it's probably because I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her while she just wasn't ready to commit as much.
She prefers to be alone right now, while I was trying to make our conversations a regular thing.
When she said she wanted some space I left her alone mostly, but I guess that was the time she figured out it all just wore her down.

In the end it's clear to me that we both think we're perfect, but again this isn't the time or we were both just not ready and too young. I have to be more comfortable being alone as being alone forever is still my greatest fear, while she has her own problems to deal with and and she needs time to mature as I'm older than she is.

Sure, it's a two way street but everything about this is so much different, so special and magical even, right down to how we met and how this all happened.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Rsandee

Alright, it's probably because I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her while she just wasn't ready to commit as much.

Dang, that's a killer when that happens, isn't it? You're infatuated, want to spend every second with her, and she would rather go get an iced coffee. Alone. Or with her friends.

I'm sharing my life story here if it wasn't clear already lol.

[Rsandee]

Yup.
But I always knew deep down this wasn't the time.
It looks weird on paper, but she's 15 while I'm 20, of course she is less committed.
This was all so serious, too serious for her to handle at this time, it was naive for me to try so soon, but I had no real choice because she stole my heart. It was long distance so the age thing wasn't a big deal to us at first. She's insanely smart and she had me so easily fooled by her maturity.
This is an age gap that would be no problem if we were older, but somehow we got together anyway. The point in my first post is that if it really was meant to be it will happen again in the same unexpected way.

[Baile]

The one female who ever put a knife through my heart was 15, I was 17. Many years later I see we were just kids, and thinking back to those times is akin to reminiscing about all the rest of my childhood. Hey though, I got back together with someone 20 years after we split, and believe me it's worth the wait to let time and maturity do its work. You're both wise adults now and man what a difference that makes.

I meet a boy with ideal person, a person by the meeting I thought we enjoyed on a three day trip like the stranger again meet in new york at new year eve party meet like friends and then we split once again.