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Originally Posted by weareunity
I wonder if the following may be of help to us when we experience heartbreak.
When we speak of heart in the sense of being a channel for love and compassion, and if the heart in that sense is grieving and bruised, I believe that it helps the heart to heal if that channel is kept used and active--even in what may seem like very small and trivial ways.
If we are able to do so--and it can be very difficult to do so--we are in a sense honouring the process of loving, a process which may have seemed to have come to an inconsolable end as we grieve the loss of a loved one, or perhaps also the loss of a dream. Perhaps in doing so we are also honouring the loved one and beginning to reconstruct the dream.
Good wishes. petex.
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If we close off that channel, then we can become cold...
What you say here is resonating because I have experienced heartbreak on different levels, even imaginary heartbreaks, and I have seen what I have become when I closed off love and reopened it.
I know the importance of love....
I'm going through the Dark Night of the Soul, and the theme of love is very prominent in my storm...
I don't remember things too well, but I remember being apathetic and also hateful to others for being expressive because I closed off love...
I got angry that I did not the receive the love I wanted, so I said, fine, if no loves me, then I won't love...
Strangely, it made me cry because it didn't feel right to close it, like something inside me was saying, "No, that's not the right thing to do!"
But when you're not giving the love you want so much, it gets hard...
I keep expecting what never came...
When I was younger I remember saying, "If you love, you live forever."
My brother at the time said to me, "Abraham Lincoln was loved and he died."
LOL, I was young and I had that thought along with the thought that body and soul must trust each other...
I don't know why I thought them, but something inside still tells me that love is indeed something I need in my life.
Well, I am still trying to open up my heart...
When people displays great emotions it revolts me just a little bit.
But I have prayed to God to help me love like Jesus.
That prayer a few weeks ago changed something inside me.
I even had a dream that my chest, up to the bottom lip, was stitched up.
The morning after the dream I felt it much easier to say hi to my neighbors and smile at people.
At times, my soul feels so tired and in pain... I pray for energy, help, anything!
I don't know what to do... But when I tell myself I need to love others, i feel a bit better. Just yersterday, my bestie of 9 years called me crying saying that her boyfriend, with PTSD, is getting severely worse.
I felt some coldness, apathy, something inside me saying, "I know you got problems, but I got problems too, I can't help you!"
You see, one reason of the Dark Night of the Soul is because I've spent most of earlier years helping people who I felt took more of my energy than I can gain back. I liked helping people, but I think I was helping them wrong...
So when I reached 0% and people came to me for help, especially my bestie, I wanted to run away, snap, and say "I CAN'T HELP YOU, LEAVE ME ALONE!"
I truly felt I cannot help people anymore.
When I was a kid I've always cried hearing and knowing people's pain and that I couldn't do anything about it.
People tend to come into my life when need my guidance.
But i became so used up that I got so angry and wanted to close off my love and kindness to others!
But anyways, when my besite called me yesterday, besides coldness, there was another side to me that was tugging gently inside, saying, "She's your friend, she's crying, she needs you. I know you feel you don't have the emotional capacity at the moment, but trust me to be gentle and help her."
So yesteday, i prayed to God for help in giving me the energy and words to help her. And I started feeling true compassion! And in the end, I gave her a solution that made her feel better, in that moment...
How things will turn out, not sure...I shall keep praying...
But that experience yesterday gave me the energy to write this today.
I think I need to help people, but through God, not through my own, that's why my energy was so spent over the years when helping others. I was not using the neverending well of God.
I'm still trying to understand things....
But I do know that I helping others, usually in a self-developmental way, does make feel better, but I need God involved as well.
I feel it's helping me to open more to what true love really is....
Also, I recently had my heartbroken because my feelings weren't returned...thought was a sad heartbreak, it was good. He was really nice to me and said, "The most important person you need to take care of is yourself first."
I wanted to honor those words, to honor my love for him.
And last year, i met someone online that I loved but could never be with because we started going different paths and he lived in another country.
He taught me to be compassionate to myself because i told him how much I put myself down.
We both shared a great spirtual love for each other, it felt like he was my twin soul or something, but I wanted to honor what he taught me.
I really learned a lot from love. Pieces of love broken off are taking me closer to true love....I hope...
Sorry for the long post! >w<
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