Soul mate Love

Although a soulmate will probably be long term they don't have to be in love nor physical nor even different gender. There'll be a deep feeling of commonality between the two, common beliefs, attitudes, aims, campaigns! and mutual close-on unconditional support. Problems shared, never a feeling of being emotionally drained.
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[FairyCrystal]

There's different types / levels of soulmate connections. I'm hoping to find a real great one for love! One who's also quite developed and quite far on his path.
I just want a lasting loving relationship with depth and fun and interdependent. I do trust the Universe has one lined up for me although sometimes I find it difficult to believe there will be another with whom I have so much in common (not in a boring way) as with my TF.
I know it'll be possible. What was lacking with TF can be there with another, a Soulmate, making that connection better, warmer, more fulfilling.
That's what I'm going for.

[Pequena Estrela]

Originally Posted by ocean breeze

In the name of love many have felt hurt and betrayed. Many have been verbally, physically, and/or sexually abused by people who claim to love them. Its highly understandable why some don't believe in love.

I agree longing to find someone to share your life with is natural but given the choices not finding one can be a blessing. That time alone can be used to explore yourself and fulfill your own dreams and passions.

ocean breeze - Sadly this is very true, yes many people get abused by those who claim to love them. But the important word in this sentence is the word "claim"! Because nobody who really loves someone could possibly intentionally hurt the person they love!

Our longing for real love gets abused by those who have no love in their hearts, to hurt us. But this doesn't mean that people who do such a thing, actually really ever loved us - it means they were only out for our destruction from the beginning.

Very true that time alone can be spent to explore oneself, to get to know oneself, to learn to love oneself. But - that doesn't mean that remaining single is the ideal state to be in. The natural thing to do is to find a mate, a soulmate, a life partner.

And what about those of us who have always been single, who have done all the exploring ourselves, getting to know who we are? Shouldn't there come a time when we have done enough of this and when it's time to find love?

Indeed many people give up on wanting to find a partner after having been abused. I know more people who are like that than I know happy couples, lol... But I notice a common thread with all of them: deep down they do want to find love, they are longing to love and be loved. They are merely pretending - to the world and even to themselves - that they are now "happily single" to ease their inner pain.

I also know people who actually are convinced singletons. They are the most unnatural people one could imagine, they have no love for anyone!

That shows that it's unnatural to reject the laws of nature.

[Pequena Estrela]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Although a soulmate will probably be long term they don't have to be in love nor physical nor even different gender. There'll be a deep feeling of commonality between the two, common beliefs, attitudes, aims, campaigns! and mutual close-on unconditional support. Problems shared, never a feeling of being emotionally drained.
.

Lorelyen - yes that's very true, a soulmate can be a good friend. If the friend is a real friend that is. Such friendships can last a lifetime, in fact they will if both parties are real friends.

[ocean breeze]

Originally Posted by Pequena Estrela

ocean breeze - Sadly this is very true, yes many people get abused by those who claim to love them. But the important word in this sentence is the word "claim"! Because nobody who really loves someone could possibly intentionally hurt the person they love!

Our longing for real love gets abused by those who have no love in their hearts, to hurt us. But this doesn't mean that people who do such a thing, actually really ever loved us - it means they were only out for our destruction from the beginning.

I agree with you. I just think its useful to understand why some may say they don't believe in love. Calling them "Unnatural" is degrading and implies a lack of understanding.

Originally Posted by Pequena Estrela

Very true that time alone can be spent to explore oneself, to get to know oneself, to learn to love oneself. But - that doesn't mean that remaining single is the ideal state to be in. The natural thing to do is to find a mate, a soulmate, a life partner.

Doesn't have to be ideal. If an authentic desire to find a mate arises in you i say go for it. If not, don't. Some people are destine for different things in life and may be better off single. One needs to be honest about their intentions. Are you seeking a relationship to fill a void inside you? Because you're unhappy? In the name of relationship what are you really seeking? Are you ready to commit and make the sacrifices that may be necessary? Just questions to contemplate.

Originally Posted by Pequena Estrela

And what about those of us who have always been single, who have done all the exploring ourselves, getting to know who we are? Shouldn't there come a time when we have done enough of this and when it's time to find love?

There is nothing to find, more like realize. Which doesn't require a partner.

Originally Posted by Pequena Estrela

Indeed many people give up on wanting to find a partner after having been abused. I know more people who are like that than I know happy couples, lol... But I notice a common thread with all of them: deep down they do want to find love, they are longing to love and be loved. They are merely pretending - to the world and even to themselves - that they are now "happily single" to ease their inner pain.

I agree with you. Though there is a difference between giving up and realizing you don't need anyone.

Originally Posted by Pequena Estrela

That shows that it's unnatural to reject the laws of nature.

I thinks its unnatural for nature to have "laws."

[Pequena Estrela]

Originally Posted by ocean breeze

I agree with you. I just think its useful to understand why some may say they don't believe in love. Calling them "Unnatural" is degrading and implies a lack of understanding.



Doesn't have to be ideal. If an authentic desire to find a mate arises in you i say go for it. If not, don't. Some people are destine for different things in life and may be better off single. One needs to be honest about their intentions. Are you seeking a relationship to fill a void inside you? Because you're unhappy? In the name of relationship what are you really seeking? Are you ready to commit and make the sacrifices that may be necessary? Just questions to contemplate.



There is nothing to find, more like realize. Which doesn't require a partner.



I agree with you. Though there is a difference between giving up and realizing you don't need anyone.



I thinks its unnatural for nature to have "laws."

ocean breeze - very interesting reply. When I called people who are against finding a mate unnatural, I wasn't referring to those who had been hurt and abused in the past and therefore now choose to stay single, I was referring to people who make this choice without ever having tried finding a mate, without ever having been hurt or abused, and who simply think they don't need anyone because they are above such things. A lot of narcissists fall under this, despite most narcissists entering a number of relationships and always ending up abusing and then discarding their partners.

Such behavior is indeed unnatural and goes against the basic natural law of everyone, once reaching maturity, wanting to find a life partner.

Sorry, should have made that clearer, I wasn't trying to upset anyone who has been hurt or abused and therefore now chooses to stay single, whether permanently or for a time. At least such people have tried, not their fault it went wrong. I even know a lady who doesn't want to find a husband because she had to witness her sister getting abused by her husband - she hasn't tried herself to find someone but I can understand why she wouldn't want to.

Nature does have laws, without which nothing would function in the world. Nowadays this is often denied and those who believe in science now claim they can circumvent the laws of nature, for example by creating life forms artificially and without natural conception. But all they do is create unnatural life forms that cannot be sustained and in fact cause more damage to the environment (just think of GMO foods, artificially conceived humans or animals with terrible birth defects etc). Either they don't realize that, or they do but are driven by their lust for power, money, fame or whatever.

[ocean breeze]

^^ I can see where you're coming from. Thanks for clarifying.