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  #1  
Old 21-06-2018, 04:56 AM
BurningBush BurningBush is offline
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Kundalini as a separate entity

I've been experiencing a Kundalini awakening (or at least something that resembles one) for over 7 years, which came as a result of a series of epiphanies after a heartbreak.

The kind I'm having is not the blissful kind, closer to the opposite if anything. Any of the resulting benefits I've received have always come at a cost, possibly a greater cost than the benefits. For example, I have far fewer fears, but that has come at the cost of an almost total loss of hope.

I've realized more recently that it's as if a separate entity was let into my consciousness. I'm not delusional or irrational, but there is definitely something else there, and this thing will eventually consume me. The me that I know as "me," won't survive.
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  #2  
Old 21-06-2018, 06:14 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BurningBush
I've been experiencing a Kundalini awakening (or at least something that resembles one) for over 7 years, which came as a result of a series of epiphanies after a heartbreak.

The kind I'm having is not the blissful kind, closer to the opposite if anything. Any of the resulting benefits I've received have always come at a cost, possibly a greater cost than the benefits. For example, I have far fewer fears, but that has come at the cost of an almost total loss of hope.

I've realized more recently that it's as if a separate entity was let into my consciousness. I'm not delusional or irrational, but there is definitely something else there, and this thing will eventually consume me. The me that I know as "me," won't survive.
With a kundalini awakening, how you are/were before the awakening, will usually only intensify and produce more of that lifestyle and emotion after it.

This is why purity of body, mind and the cultivation of virtues are important beforehand...because joy leads to infinite joy, bliss leads to infinite bliss and love leads to infinite love, but despair leads to infinite despair, sorrow leads to infinite sorrow and emptiness leads to infinite emptiness...in which there is no bliss and no joy, just nothing and then, we become 'shadow people' trying to eke out an existence in any dimension which will support us.

This drives most people insane or to suicide...but all we can do is to believe this has happened for a reason and to have faith and trust in the Divine that the reason will be revealed to us, because if it wasn't for Grace, it would not have happened in the first instance.

All the best, from a fellow soul-traveller.
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  #3  
Old 21-06-2018, 07:22 AM
Starman Starman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BurningBush
I've been experiencing a Kundalini awakening (or at least something that resembles one) for over 7 years, which came as a result of a series of epiphanies after a heartbreak.

The kind I'm having is not the blissful kind, closer to the opposite if anything. Any of the resulting benefits I've received have always come at a cost, possibly a greater cost than the benefits. For example, I have far fewer fears, but that has come at the cost of an almost total loss of hope.

I've realized more recently that it's as if a separate entity was let into my consciousness. I'm not delusional or irrational, but there is definitely something else there, and this thing will eventually consume me. The me that I know as "me," won't survive.
I used to view it as a “separate entity” but no longer. Now I view it similar to a seed that has sprouted, grows, and engulfs me. I know that I will not survive this experience that I am having, but I feel like the experience itself is gently easing me into my own extinction. However, its’ not really like I will not survive it, there will be a very different me, a very different state of being remaining after I am consumed. An that state of being will be unearthly, and I might even say not the ordinary human condition.

I used to have great fear of this but I am glad that my fear has greatly diminished. Thoughts, words, labels, and other modes of expression, seem to be distancing themselves from me, although I feel incredibly connected to a presence much greater than my mind or body. Sometimes while online sitting in front of my computer all of my boundaries disappear and I am not defined at all. There is no top, bottom, front, back, or sides to the presence that I feel is me. Then it goes away and I feel my physical body and human limitations return.

I have to continually deepen my trust in the process of becoming; knowing that what I am becoming cannot be labeled and does not fit into a mental construct. I no longer judge the experience in relation to cost-benefit, or at all for that matter. Any judgment I place on it is an attempt to objectify it, measure it, etc., and this experience is anything but objective. It has me beyond any semblance of control that I may think I have. It is in charge, carrying me on a journey beyond my mind. Beyond what I am used to calling “me.” I now strongly feel I have no choice in this. The journey has me, I do not have the journey; time to surrender.

I started doing quiet meditation back in the 1970‘s, occasionally practicing Kundalini and other more intense techniques, regularly and have watched my experience grow over the decades, now I am at a point where humility, trust, and patience are essential. Desires, hopes and dreams, have given way to contentment. I have no idea where things are going or what it is going to be like. I am no longer expressing the experience rather I am becoming the experience. It does not feel sinister, and in my heart, I know that my human death will be a very smooth transition, because that transition is already taking place.

I have been around a number of people who were in an expanded state of consciousness. Swami Sat-Chit Ananda, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, and others. When you look in their eyes, it is like looking into infinity. There is very little ego remaining, and they radiate an incredible presence. Although sometimes they slip back into ordinary everyday consciousness and can be just as any one else. However, I am not saying that this is the experience me, you, or anyone else will have, and I am partial towards not having any expectations one way or the other.
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  #4  
Old 21-06-2018, 12:18 PM
barrynu barrynu is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ireland
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I'v also had that "separate entity" feeling.I felt it a few times as this powerful "ME" looming over "little me" and sometimes mocking me.I don't feel it anymore but I look back and don't see it as a separate entity just another part of me that was growing but not fully grown or wise yet.(possibly a part of me feeling power and getting egotistic about it)

The most important thing with kundalini is emotions.Feeling them and releasing them will accelerate the process.A fit healthy body will keep the pain away and a keep away from people or places that are not good for your mind.You take care of the body and mind and Kundalini will do the rest.
Surrender to kundalini is also important and inevitable

Don't be afraid to look for help with Energy or Emotions,,There may be stuff you cant access on your own,,,I had lots of help at the start and that was just 6 years ago.its up to you how fast this process goes....Best of luck.
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  #5  
Old 21-06-2018, 05:26 PM
LadyMay LadyMay is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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I agree with you and came to realise kundalini is not what it is supposed to be. In my current understanding it is a powerful but false entity that pretends to be your higher consciousness so that it can distract you from the truth of enlightenment. Even the 'blissful' kind. Take it from someone who had many entities over a six month period posing as sexual kundalini energy rising from the root chakra through the crown and ended up severely 'interfered' with as a result (this was two years after supposed kundalini 'awakening'). My body is entirely broken down now as a result, suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome and other autoimmune diseases. In fact I almost died, which was the end goal of that entire fiasco. Thankfully that did not happen. If such kundalini were really liberating it would not result in a total breakdown of consciousness, as it claims to do for the sake of 'healing'.

I would advise to ground yourself (by ejecting all the energy and rubbish back down into the earth) and denounce this false kundalini entity/entities and pray to your higher power for true enlightenment. This is doing me wonders.
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  #6  
Old 21-06-2018, 09:12 PM
BurningBush BurningBush is offline
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In an attempt to respond to everyone at once, this is not something I chose or desired and so I didn’t have a choice in my entry point/state of mind when going into it. I had never heard the term and would have laughed at the concept of kundalini.

If the process is beneficial, I don’t see why my previous personality and desires existed at all. Their purpose was only to die?

And if the process is negative, I don’t see a way out. It’s starting to look like my best bet is to let it happen. The old me sees letting it happen as death, but maybe it’s better to have an easy death than to continue with a painful one. I’ve realized that some of my addictive habits are ways of holding on. They are little attempts at creating temporary hope.

Either way, this is not something I want at this point. Early on, I welcomed it because sites like this forum said it was a path to enlightenment, which seemed good. Maybe it still is, but to quote the character Maeve from Westworld, “Some things are too precious to lose. Even to be free.”
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  #7  
Old 21-06-2018, 10:46 PM
Starman Starman is offline
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BurningBush, I have found that just quieting my mind in meditation is enough for me; I stopped doing Kundalini yoga decades ago because I found it to be too intense. Quiet meditation eases me into the process of becoming more gently than Kundalini. I continue my practice of quiet meditation because it keeps me at peace with myself. Sometimes going into a more aggressive practice, like Kundalini, can be premature if a person has not had adequate preparation from a teacher, or currently has an experienced teacher guiding them.

I had the benefit of a guru from India when I first began, back in the 1970’s there were lots of gurus from India and Asia here in the U.S. offering their guidance for free back then, and I was with my guru for many years while I began my meditation practice. He has since passed on and crossed over, but the time with him was invaluable for me to anchor myself to my inner teacher. The benefits for me are clarity in everyday affairs, a positive presence in my life emanating from within me, and I genuinely feel taken care of; things just happen for my benefit rather serendipitously, and a freedom which transcends the concept of the word “freedom, “among many other things.

It is my meditation experience that makes life very precious to me. An early on I had to guard against letting my mind, my thoughts, dictate what that experience was or was not. Quieting my mind kept it out of the equation. I do what many call “Raja Yoga,” also known as “Ashtanga Yoga.” It requires discipline but is a more gentile experience than Kundalini yoga. I believe that people should go through some sort of preparation face-to-face with an experienced teacher before embarking on a meditation or yoga practice. In my opinion everything just cannot be accomplished online alone by yourself, which can be accomplished face-to-face with a teacher; like having the benefit of darshan from your teacher, etc. Darshan is a very powerful experience imparted from teacher/master to student/devotee.

If you so desire, you may be able to close, or decrease the flow from, your charkas; which will give you a different experience. Search online for ways to do this. Now, I am not advising you to do that, but just like you concentrate to open your charkas you may also be able to concentrate to close down or decrease your charkas. Visualization techniques, guided imagery, etc., may also work. I think the path you are on is inevitable but maybe you can slow it down. Once I had a very intense frightening experience while meditating, and I went to a fast food restaurant and ate a bunch of cheeseburgers, those cheeseburgers immediately bought me down into the fleshy part of my existence. If you get back enmeshed into the drama of this world that may also help to normalize things for you. Don’t know if any of this will work for you or not, just throwing out some suggestions.

Peace
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  #8  
Old 21-06-2018, 11:13 PM
Emm Emm is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,319
 
With my own experience there was the impression that an entity was helping me through this, basically telling me to surrender to the process, trust it and accept myself as worthy if you like. I didn't realise what I was going through had a name but decided whoever was helping had my back so went with it.

My experience was gentle compared to what I've read from others, and most of the "symptoms" for lack of a better word faded within a year. I think state of mind does affect how you move forward with this...how much fear is within you, or how much you trust to a higher power. I followed my heart, I felt it to be trustworthy...maybe had I read about others experiences with Kundalini I may have had some doubts and resisted more but luckily I hadn't. So going from what I've gone through I would say relax, perhaps converse with this entity that you feel with you and see if it changes your journey through this.

The old teaching of love yourself is also beneficial. No matter what we've done we are not judged but we do judge ourselves which I think lowers or blocks our energy...these tend to be brought back into conscious thought through this process but again its letting it go that clears those blockages. Whats past is gone so we don't need to hold on to them. Every day is a new day, a new start, we don't need to carry those memories with us like a heavy chain ...its those judgements that are fear related that eventually die, not you. I think we just identify with those so much that it feels like our past is who we are...instead we create each day a new version of self. The difference is this time we are more conscious of our behaviour and so have the benefit of knowing not to add it to our future self by learning from the mistake, rectify and let go.

Sorry if this sounded like a lecture, its not my intention, just hope it helps.
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  #9  
Old 21-06-2018, 11:35 PM
Bubbles Bubbles is offline
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If you have the patience to listen what this young Indian girl is saying in her English, then I hope you will learn a couple of important things, see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0U2zayp10c

She is very very knowledgeable, have patience when watching/listening her and check the other Kundalini related videos from her channel.

EDIT: oh, actually this was the video I wanted to recommend you, still from same person, but it covers quite some 'must-know' topics regarding Kundalini, see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JO0EqdSrUxc I think this might answer many of your questions.
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  #10  
Old 22-06-2018, 11:11 AM
barrynu barrynu is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 841
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BurningBush

If the process is beneficial, I don’t see why my previous personality and desires existed at all. Their purpose was only to die?

You won't lose your personality but the process will change you over time.You will become more of who you really are....The "You" without the old baggage and old fears...Kundalini helps you to drop all the emotions and beliefs that are holding you back.

heres a link to a Kundalini teacher I like.https://www.youtube.com/user/FlowingWakefulness/videos
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