Going through a hard separation time - need support from people who get it!

[Lady18]

It's hard to find anyone in my every day life who would get this even to some degree, so I'm posting here. I'm in a TF/SM situation that feels irreparably damaged. And we both did it to ourselves and each other. I'm saying "TF/SM" because while I get an extraordinary amount of TF Signs, including recently a dream where he told me that's what we are, only God knows. But there is no doubt in my mind that this is at the very least a profound soulmate connection.

We've been connected online for over 3 years. At for nearly 3 years it was him pursuing me. He was very clear in how he felt about me, even when I didn't respond. And that was because I believed at the time with my whole being that another man was my Twin Flame and I was acting (or not acting) out of what I thought was appropriate loyalty. But then this spring, things started to shift in ways I'd never expected. I felt more drawn - 1st gradually and then in a very accelerated way - to this new man and simultaneously felt a lessening of my connection with the man I'd been so "faithful" to for 7 years -all conducted on a soul level as he's 8000 miles away from me. I couldn't explain it to myself. I felt guilty even. But when I allowed myself to accept that maybe a Soulmate was being sent to me because my TF and I would always be geographically undesirable to each other, I couldn't believe the connection I had with him. It blew everything else out of the water that I'd ever experienced before, even the 7 year experience that I'd been so sure was TF. And on top of the chemistry and the way this new man simply adored me in every way, he was open to the spiritual side in a way that's very rare for guys. He even said in one of our 1st conversations that he thought I was his soulmate. He understood that what was happening with us was both heavenly and insane at the same time. Not that he thought either one of us was crazy, but he could understand as well as I did that we were having an extraordinary experience. We even talked about the various forms of telepathy that we were able to experience with each other. And on a few occasions we would both sit still and deliberately connect with each other from our respective homes. And that's just when we couldn't see each other in person, and I assure you THAT felt like Heaven on earth for both of us at the time.

Now I don't want to go into too many details of how this fell apart, but it did. I will say, in retrospect I think he wasn't ready to make the changes in his life that he'd have to make in order for me to be in it. And I also know now in retrospect that I should have just let him go, knowing that if we were truly Soulmates he would come back to me, I'd still be single and we would be together in a better way. Instead I fought for us, but I did it out of the fear of losing him forever, and I know he picked up this. At 1st he was remarkably sweet and supportive, but then he kind of checked out. Things went downhill very quickly, never to recover. Even though I initially had many rays of hope, nothing has helped, not even giving him space. And when I reached out to him after he posted some things on his social media that made me worry about him, he basically said that he's recommitting himself to another, and the door was closed with him and me, even as friends. He was trying to be nice, but I can tell he is so angry at me! I am devastated, for both of us. I know we both made a lot of mistakes but it feels too late to fix them. Even though I feel him on the soul level profoundly and almost ALL the time, including right this second! But I know with 20/20 hindsight vision exactly what we did wrong and I know what I would do differently if only I could. If he's a "regular" soulmate, then we may have just come into each other's lives for a reason or season, and I hope we can both make peace with that. If he is in fact my Twin, then according to many schools of thought we're probably not done... though at this point I feel like I will be waiting for years just to have some sort of positive conversation - which I realize is par for the course for many separated Twins.

I don't know what to expect, but I do know that talking with people has been the best way to deal with this dream turned nightmare - or I could say this Heaven turned Hell for both of us. And I'd really like to talk with someone who gets it and won't judge me for secretly hoping that all is not lost. But when I say that, I don't mean tell me what I want to hear. Just listen without judgement because not being able to talk about this in real life IS driving me crazy!!

[Da494]

TF are meant to come into our lives to help us, inspire us or to motivate us, to put us back onto the path that we were mean to fulfill.
By what I have read they do not enter our lives like a soulmate where the transition is smooth and blissful.
The TF is to come to help us heal, help us look at ourselves and to challenge us to fix ourselves.

So if he is a TF then you wont lose him. You will remain connected though you may not be able to be together, but the emotional and spiritual
connection will always reamain. That love and that bond remains.

[Inika]

so much tension in your energy. try and calm your mind and chill out to a move. go for a walk, sing out loud. i highly recommend you fill your own self with lots of things that bring joy. this despairing feeling is sad.

I spent close to 5 or 6 years wishing someone i had a connection with would help pick it up and fix it back to how we used to be. I fought for this. I believed with all my heart that this boy was my soul connection. Twin even!
I'd ignore his insights if he never saw himself with me lol. like 'yawn, boring, just get to the part where you and I are dancing in the rainbows of heaven!' But it was never him. No matter how much I wanted to see him and see that it was him. Even in my dimensional travels and searches. It was never him. He was never named my twin above or below. And i never saw him. The only times I saw him in an astral emotional body. he looked scared, frightened and angry.
It took a lot of self humiliation for me to come back to down to reality level and say to myself 'forgive your dillusions' , it was all on me, in my head and projected. What I wanted, how I wanted, what it was to look like. Meanwhile he had himself busy with his life, having a great time, travel, meeting people. As I clung to smoke and mirrors id created myself.
Once I started to accept this and start to let go. I felt an immeditate change. The year turned into the best year I could have imagined and Ive not told the story. and never will ;)

but it got better, way better. Not with him. without him.
i wouldnt take it back for the world now. where I am at in my current state and where its lead me.

but back then. you couldnt tell me things would get better if he never returned. You couldnt tell me he wasnt the twin. you couldnt tell me that id be how I am right now and in total love.

change is constant and where you are right now will change. i dont know times, but i do know change and it happens gradually, fast paced or subtle. It does and will happen.

One thing I also noticed. I did it too and see others do it. In your post I notice how your mind wants to decide things. Yet you must understand the soul knows. the mind wants to dictate and decide but ultimately the soul knows itself and you cant fool it. which is what makes people go a bit into denial town.

[lunapixie]

Originally Posted by Inika

so much tension in your energy. try and calm your mind and chill out to a move. go for a walk, sing out loud. i highly recommend you fill your own self with lots of things that bring joy. this despairing feeling is sad.

I spent close to 5 or 6 years wishing someone i had a connection with would help pick it up and fix it back to how we used to be. I fought for this. I believed with all my heart that this boy was my soul connection. Twin even!
I'd ignore his insights if he never saw himself with me lol. like 'yawn, boring, just get to the part where you and I are dancing in the rainbows of heaven!' But it was never him. No matter how much I wanted to see him and see that it was him. Even in my dimensional travels and searches. It was never him. He was never named my twin above or below. And i never saw him. The only times I saw him in an astral emotional body. he looked scared, frightened and angry.
It took a lot of self humiliation for me to come back to down to reality level and say to myself 'forgive your dillusions' , it was all on me, in my head and projected. What I wanted, how I wanted, what it was to look like. Meanwhile he had himself busy with his life, having a great time, travel, meeting people. As I clung to smoke and mirrors id created myself.
Once I started to accept this and start to let go. I felt an immeditate change. The year turned into the best year I could have imagined and Ive not told the story. and never will ;)

but it got better, way better. Not with him. without him.
i wouldnt take it back for the world now. where I am at in my current state and where its lead me.

but back then. you couldnt tell me things would get better if he never returned. You couldnt tell me he wasnt the twin. you couldnt tell me that id be how I am right now and in total love.

change is constant and where you are right now will change. i dont know times, but i do know change and it happens gradually, fast paced or subtle. It does and will happen.

One thing I also noticed. I did it too and see others do it. In your post I notice how your mind wants to decide things. Yet you must understand the soul knows. the mind wants to dictate and decide but ultimately the soul knows itself and you cant fool it. which is what makes people go a bit into denial town.

This was one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever read! I completely agree.

It took me five years to finally shut the door on the man I used to think was my twin. And on the sixth year, another, better man appeared to show me how a man should act and be. I am not going to get into the details of my story here, but I just wanted to let you know that these labels we create to define the relationships in our lives are very detrimental to us. Try to give up the labels if you can. I wish I had done so myself years ago.

I have found that the synchronicitities happen around me all the time and, after two years of not focusing on my ex (whom I called my TF), the synchs about him still appear from time to time but now I feel absolutely no emotional pull and basically feel nothing when I see them. This is because I experience synchs about the new man too. So, my point is, it’s not them. It’s us! We are the creators of our own experience.

Try to love yourself, focus on yourself, shift your focus from him and what transpired between the two of you into anything at all that feels good! What feels good to you right now? Do that! Unless it’s snything related to him, because that’s the most unproductive and unloving thing you could do to yourself right now.

I was able to stop the telepathy between me and my ex and so can you! I finally realized that I didn’t have to leave myself open to his thoughts and feelings anymore. Talking about it here right now made me realize that I can’t even remember the last time I heard his thoughts. I chose to close that door and you can too!

I hadn’t posted on here in a long time but I felt compelled to do so because I have experienced everything you’re going through and I wanted to let you know that there is a way out!

Love yourself as much as you can. Nothing else matters, really. All else will fall into place once you do.

I wish you peace and serenity :)

[Seenthelight]

This really helped put my role under separation into perspective. Let go of expectations - not them!

https://www.consciousreminder.com/20...4hTAQerXrPh4iI