Transmutation

[LoveAllBeings]

I somehow survived what I believed was impending doom, im still here so those beliefs I was so entrenched in, they were just beliefs. I wasn't meant to survive it, so here I am in a funny situation, who I once was is no more, like my mind got a reboot, like death and rebirth. Things that used to scare me, it all seems so petty compared to the magnitude of how truly ****ed I believed I was. I thought that I had accidentally backsliding thousands of lifetimes of spiritual progress and and that the hell realms were waiting. I realised that I wasn't yet in hell and that for someone who was meant to be in hell, things weren't so bad. I started appreciating and feeling the gratitude for everything. I realised things are okay right now, better than okay, having no expectations of ever experiencing anything good again, you really see the goodness around you. When it's all said and done, love and compassion that's the light, that's all I can desire.

I don't know where I'm at now, I'm in the grip of an immense life challenge, I been going with the flow, just going with the wind any which way it's blowing and I'm free in a way I never been before. I been following my heart, even if it leads me into despair, i got this faith now, a path with heart is the right path.

I dont know what I'm doing, im at the edge of a cliff about to leap. Im putting this faith to the test, pushing past old limits. There's this Dzogchen Buddhism lama guy on YouTube who explains things really well. Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche is his name.