Healing someone who doesn't want help

[Native spirit]

It is very difficult to Heal anyone who is not open to it,because they have to have faith that the healing will work,positive mind set in other words.as a drinker he doesnt think he has a problem,and whatever you say or do will not change that,not with the best will in the world will it change,unless he recognises he has a problem.himself.i feel there is a deep depression around him for his moods to change as they do and the drink is masking the true cause.this is not something you can help with he has the problem and for him to get better he also has to recognise the problem.

Namaste

Originally Posted by shinenz

I guess if people continue to put up with his moods, nothing will change. Sorry

I have to agree with this...this person will never feel the need to seek help--as long as the family keeps rescuing him from his consequences.

I believe in unconditional love--but not unconditional support--sometimes the greatest lessons come from having to stand on our own and face our own reality.

Peace and Love on the path of your choice...

Blessed be...

[Seawolf]

Originally Posted by Nesanjica

Hi all,
I have a family member who is a concern. He drinks alcohol and his moods change literally on a second to second basis. If he speaks to a certain person who is a bit more abrupt he will become abrupt, if he is with a cheery person he will become cheery etc etc... Now what is happening is that his issues around drinking and his behaviour is affecting the mood in the house, the relationships in the family. Yet he doesn't want help and is very resistant to anything (even something as simple as going to the med centre for a check up).

I know he is not well and that he is suffering and I know that there are healings out there available, but how can you help someone who is resistant? Is there anything I can do without his knowing to help him? Are there any distance healing suggestions or whatever that I can look into. My desire to help comes from a good place...and I know everyone needs to want help, and be at a place where they are willing to end their own suffering etc etc...it's just really hard to watch someone destroy themselves and to know help was there but they didn't take it.

Anything I can try?

You can't help an alcoholic, the only thing you can do is find a therapist and have an intervention and hopefully the person will realize he/she needs help. The most important thing you can do focus on your own healing and begin your own recovery. This is from 35 years experience with an alcoholic family member.

[shadedragon]

.. well, in the healing mode I was I reached out and simply asked if I could send energy and I got a yes.. And so I did. Note though that this being I spoke to was his highest self, which is the being you would need permission from in order to send healings or any other type of energy. I supply pure color energy, which allows the spirit to use it ( to spur the healing/learning/ whatever that is needed process.) So blessing to both them and your family (((hugs)))

What you can do from here on is to ask his spirit the same question- if you can send helping energy. If you get a yes, then go ahead. He may not accept it on a conscious level, but that's not what needs to accept it. It's the higher self and then spirit that does, then the conscious self. If the conscious self accepts it first, nothing would happen anyway until the spirit does, etc.
Best of luck with everything,
~shadedragon

Originally Posted by Nesanjica

Hi all,
I have a family member who is a concern. He drinks alcohol and his moods change literally on a second to second basis. If he speaks to a certain person who is a bit more abrupt he will become abrupt, if he is with a cheery person he will become cheery etc etc... Now what is happening is that his issues around drinking and his behaviour is affecting the mood in the house, the relationships in the family. Yet he doesn't want help and is very resistant to anything (even something as simple as going to the med centre for a check up).

I know he is not well and that he is suffering and I know that there are healings out there available, but how can you help someone who is resistant? Is there anything I can do without his knowing to help him? Are there any distance healing suggestions or whatever that I can look into. My desire to help comes from a good place...and I know everyone needs to want help, and be at a place where they are willing to end their own suffering etc etc...it's just really hard to watch someone destroy themselves and to know help was there but they didn't take it.

Anything I can try?

For him to want a change,
He must realize the problem/what it is he needs to change.
You can try bringing his attention to the problem you are talking about.
Like having him watch movies featuring alcoholism, leaving books containing alcoholics for him around if he reads.
Heck! If he still doesn't get it, go get a poster from Alcoholics Anonymous and plaster it on his favourite wall.(just kidding)
For some people, all they need is to be told directly.
(which I'd do if the indirect HINTS, joke, statements or talks I let him/her hear about it does not work)
*But it is also important to highlight your intention in doing so - why you do.
Then, after the wake up call, you can proceed into helping him.

Come to think of it, both my sister and half sister married alcoholic guys.
One of them is already dead out of it. The other one whom my half sister left & I haven't heard from in years, probably is dead now, too.
& my former husband - although not dependent on alcohol, drinks it like a fish by western standard. Pretty common problem, a?
All I could do when still together with my husband is got him into paying attention with his health at least,
to live long enough to see our children grow up.

Just do it with care and peace.

1.

Originally Posted by Nesanjica

Anything I can try?

2.

Originally Posted by Nesanjica

If he speaks to a certain person who is a bit more abrupt he will become abrupt, if he is with a cheery person he will become cheery etc etc...

Since he seems to respond to what he sees, then maybe example a path for him that he can follow. He needs to get out of something that is no good and into something that is right for him. At some point in his journey, he is the one to decide what is right for him but the guidance to get him out of peril should be a good start.

[Nesanjica]

Thank you guys! Thank you shade dragon! There are good and bad days...I have started not putting up with his behaviour and setting more boundaries (eg: how he can talk to me/others). I wish I was more advanced to do spiritual healing myself...all I have tried is something I made up myself which is to imagine a white cleansing cloud around him that is healing and cleansing him. I don't know any other ways. Thanks for all the advice. Very helpful!

You are most welcome!

[tainamom]

My father is the same and it's bad because he's an elderly alcoholic.

What I did, in the beginning, after I took my courses, I'd not tell him that I was praying for him and just did it. I was told that once you tell them, they can refuse and put a block. I just kept it quiet.

After a year or two, I got tired of doing this, but i learned something from this. I learned that as I grow spiritually, he also grew spiritually. (We have this thing called the heart check where we can check and feel how much bigger his heart chakra is now vs then.) This is happening because we are close relations and because the spiritual development of all beings have increased tremendously.

Also, for the person to stop drinking, they need to know that they have a problem and they need to want to stop. It's like me and my eating habits. I need to realize and finally say I can't continue eating like a teenager anymore. Everyone has their 'habits' that need changing - shopping, anger, smoking, eating, conniving - well, you get the idea.

Just relax. Keep them on your prayer/healing list and most importantly, take care of your own spiritual growth and sanity.

As Shadedragon says you are allowed to give healing to someone that doesn't consciously want it, because with any healing you ask permission of the higher self and there are times when the recipient may not be aware of what's going on round him/her, but the Higher Self still gives a healer permission to send distant healing. By the same token sometimes a person can ask for healing and when you ask the Higher Self for permission you may get a "No"

Good Luck - addictions are very sad / destructive things

x