Healing someone who doesn't want help

[Nesanjica]

Hi all,
I have a family member who is a concern. He drinks alcohol and his moods change literally on a second to second basis. If he speaks to a certain person who is a bit more abrupt he will become abrupt, if he is with a cheery person he will become cheery etc etc... Now what is happening is that his issues around drinking and his behaviour is affecting the mood in the house, the relationships in the family. Yet he doesn't want help and is very resistant to anything (even something as simple as going to the med centre for a check up).

I know he is not well and that he is suffering and I know that there are healings out there available, but how can you help someone who is resistant? Is there anything I can do without his knowing to help him? Are there any distance healing suggestions or whatever that I can look into. My desire to help comes from a good place...and I know everyone needs to want help, and be at a place where they are willing to end their own suffering etc etc...it's just really hard to watch someone destroy themselves and to know help was there but they didn't take it.

Anything I can try?

[Lilyth Von Gore]

If he doesn't want help, there's not much you can do. Healing only works if someone is ready to be healed. If he's not ready or willing, there's no point. Sorry to sound so harsh, but what I know of healing , that's just how it is. You can't heal a person who isn't ready to be healed, because the underlying problem won't be resolved and will continue to be an issue which causes illness or someone to make themselves ill through destructive behaviour like alcoholism.

I guess if people continue to put up with his moods, nothing will change. Sorry

[GoldenLioness]

For this type of situation I would say that prayer is the best answer. Pray for them to help themselves. Blessings.

[Selbor13]

You should always have the individual's permission to do energy work on them, even if you have the best of intentions you need to respect the individual's free will. Also, keep in mind that there's situations that we must go through no matter what (part of the learning process for that soul). You can pray and send your blessings but it is up to the individual to receive them. Remember that Light work cannot be forced upon. You can also ask for the individual's higher self for permission to send energy and they will respond (depending on how developed your intuition is), in some cases I have gotten a "NO" because I was not meant to interfere with such karmic experience. It's very difficult to help someone that is not willing to help him/herself.

I've been in a similar situation.

[linen53]

To interfere in any way is to hinder his walk on his path. These are lessons he needs to learn.

You think he needs healing. He does not think he needs healing therefore he does not.

As much as we want to "help" someone it isn't ours to do. If they ask for assistance that's a different matter. Sorry.

As couuupt said you can pray for him. But it has to be with the stipulations that you do not interfere.

[Mr Interesting]

You're already doing the right thing by simply noticing and by having the non-judgemental ability to just watch it unfold and knowing what it is raises the vibration within the family where the chances of those who have the behaviours start to see them in themselves even whilst it may take time for the actions to change for the better and may even get worse initially as the purging starts. Allowing and accepting is a very powerful way to be.

[OnAPath]

Like others have said, you can not mess with free will. Like the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink. If you want to help energetically, help the resources be easily available to him, and present themselves when he is receptive. It's the things like just so happening to be near the clinic when he needs to wait a long time for something else, or having the right person around when he decides "i should do something about this," and allowing those resources to be ready and waiting, but not forcing themselves on him (or he will just resist).

Hi there. Yes, it is extremely hard to watch a loved one go tripping down a path of self destruction.

When I struggled with a sister's alcohol addiction, I used to get so frustrated when she never accepted my suggestions. When I finally reached my "rock bottom" as a codependent, I had to do my own work, refocus back on my life (I was getting sick from stress over her actions), and surrender to Great Spirit. In my prayers for her, I'd ask that our Ancestors please watch over her, whatever might happen to her, and that her own spirit would eventually find its connection to Great Spirit.

John Bradshaw and Melody Beattie have some books I found really helped me and my codependence to my sister's drinking.

Like others have said here, you need to focus on your health and your life, and know your boundaries - how much you can give to your loved one before it feels like too much.

A great line I remember from a codependent program I took: "Codependence is when you have a near-death experience and someone else's life flashes before your eyes." This resonated with me.

Be well and honour your needs, dear!

[Nesanjica]

Thanks everyone this makes sense!! The whole thing is starting to affect me and make me very depressed. So I need to focus on my own healing. It's so frustrating! It's like having a cure for cancer and watching someone die from cancer...