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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #1  
Old 27-07-2013, 11:14 AM
elfie88
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Post Working in the ward my brother died in...

I have a placement in the hospital in the exact ward that my brother died in, quite horrifically even for cancer. I don’t know how I feel about this… in a way it feels like he’s reaching out to me in another sense I know I’m going to have to be in the room where I had to say bye to my brother and watch him die in a nightmarish way as well as see patients suffer from the same disease.

The thing is I already had a job lined up and then my advisor had pushed me to go for the placement in the hospital & last minute I got a phone call telling me to come in for an interview just as I thought I wasn’t getting on it anyway due to a mix up with emails. When I got to the interview I’d been convinced it was a good move and that I should go into Administration and not care which is what I had originally planned to do. All of these little pushes from other people & I could have been placed anywhere in the hospital but I end up on that ward out of around 16 people the majority doing admin.

I’m not sure how I feel about it all now. Ever since he died there has been continuous event after event which has forced me to think more about the spiritual world and I guess that’s why it brought me here. Not long after he had died I went into a deep depression which just got worse, and then ended up having to have my house exorcized by a group of mediums because somehow a demon and some other evil spirits had managed to latch on to me in particular & my home and were making my life hell. Ever since then I’ve tried to stray away from it all and shut it out because I never wanted to feel that way again or have something I cannot even see, have me live in fear and be emotionally drained more than I had ever been before in my life. Even coming home and walking in my room I would feel as if I was being pushed down and had a pounding headache, whistling and noises, pounding of feet, the feeling of being grabbed making it impossible to sleep and just this impending feeling of doom. Even my friends disliked coming round because they felt it too and no matter where I went it seemed to follow me. It took a long time for the energy in my house to go back to normal.

This is my first post so I thought I’d give a bit of background in it but mostly I would like people to share their ideas with me about the hospital situation I have already accepted it as fate and know I have the strength to do it but I think emotionally it will be hard.
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  #2  
Old 27-07-2013, 12:20 PM
in progress in progress is offline
Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Iowa, USA
Posts: 2,048
 
I think everything in one's life can be seen in a literal or symbolic sense as information about one's inner self. You seem to think this too, at least to some extent, or you wouldn't be asking about your situation.

I think you arranged this for yourself (on a higher level) to help you "exorcize your demons" so to speak. You still have heavy feelings that haven't been resolved from your experience of your brother's death. I see this as turning up the heat on yourself to force you to deal with your feelings so you can feel better and not carry this heaviness with you anymore.
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  #3  
Old 27-07-2013, 10:59 PM
elfie88
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Thankyou for the reply, I hadn't thought about it that way its probably partly true but I guess only time will tell.
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  #4  
Old 27-07-2013, 11:05 PM
Mayflow
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Time I suppose does tell. I think it is called Karma (as in you reap the harvest of what you sow)
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  #5  
Old 27-07-2013, 11:57 PM
Celera Celera is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 118
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I'm inclined to agree with In Progress -- I think that this will be healing for you if you let it. The room is just a room, others go in and out of that room without thinking anything of it. People die -- some horribly -- in many rooms of a hospital. The room only has power in your mind because you are giving it that power. Ultimately, the other negative energies also have no power, from what I have read such spirits are actually quite weak.

I suggest practicing some more positive self-talk about going into that room. If it triggers a feeling of sadness, say to yourself, "I feel sad, but I can work even when I'm sad." Or fearful or however you feel.

Before your shift at work, spend a few minutes doing whatever sort of prayer or meditation works for you, or just concentrate on being surrounded by a white light of protection from your guide or angels or whatever your understanding is. The point is to break the cycle of fear, then fear of being afraid, and so forth.
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  #6  
Old 28-07-2013, 01:44 AM
Lynn Lynn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Past Pluto in the vastness of space and time
Posts: 13,910
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Hello

I feel one was 'called' to be there in that space. One will have more understandings for the patients there as one has seen the face of death on a deeply personal level. That will make one strong enough to take this one and be a blessing to those that too are in the same place as one's Brother was. While its hard to maybe enter that same room, know that its OK to do so that one well protected and guided.

I was first with passing in a hospital room at the age of 13, I was visiting me Grandfather and the man in the next bed slipped away. I remember the nurse coming and saying maybe ye best leave, for me to go I am fine, I understand he just walked out of the room. I saw him go. I was on the way to see me Grandfather a few days later (as I too was in the hospital at the same time in another wing ) and hearing the code called. The nurse stopped me to say he had just gone, and I said yes I know I again say him leave. Its a very peaceful feeling when one does make that final passing from suffering alone in life. I later went to the same room to see the last man in there with the other two til he too passed. It was hard to see the bed at first where me Grandfather would have been but too I knew he was no whole. I later went on to volunteer in the men's wing and was able to maybe help more make that peaceful transition to the Light. Being a Medium I could feel them go gently over. Thought at 13 I never understood that aspect of me.

Surround yourself with LOVe and Light and know that the work one is doing is a blessing that one is called to do.


Lynn
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If the crow has chosen you as your spirit or totem animal, it supports you in developing the power of sight, transformation, and connection with life’s magic.
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  #7  
Old 28-07-2013, 04:27 AM
livingkarma
Posts: n/a
 
[[[HUGS]]]

I'm weeping w/empathy; I know what you have to do ...
Let me first explain, regardless of being completely healed or still striving toward it grief &/or healing always have to be checked for residuals from each & every issue ...
Many people do not get that there are many layers to grief w/continuous set backs for years upon years ...
Unfortunately, because of this we all have a tendency to compartmentalize for a variety of reasons including feeling shame for the lengthiness of our grief other people notice or from complete mental, emotional & physical exhaustion ...
The loss of a loved can be healed or mending for an entire life time; it depends on the choice of each person ...
In any case, healing has to be maintained & checked periodically ...

I don't know what it feels like to lose a sibling, however, I do know what it feels like to have the energy of my primary soulmate literally sucked from my body upon death ...

To check if any residuals remain & in maintaining my healing I test myself ...
This will be hard, grieving takes alot of courage but the benefits of having a peaceful soul are tremendous ...
Choose a song that reminds you of your brother, if you can't think of one I've pasted my grief song below ...
Get a picture of your brother, play the video & summon memories ...
Go with whatever you are feeling, do not hold it back ...
Over & over & over --- only on days off work or everyday after work - weeks, months, etc or as long as you can cope it. If you need to stop do so till you have the strength to continue on ...
Sending hugs, blessings & positive energy for your journey ...


http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=...&F ORM=NVPFVR

"DARKEST DAYS" by Black Label Society ...
written by Zakk Wylde ...

Divided soul of a troubled man
The final fight
The final need to understand
These tangled roots
Ripped from the ground
Abandonment and worry
Forever to be found

Rain. Rain. Rain
Take this hand of sorrow
Take away my darkest days
Rain. Rain. Rain.

Take away my darkest days
Return me for I feel I'm here to say

For just one moment of peace I long to know
I can see the storm clouds calling me back home
The blood of the hurricane where the water is never still
Life is a loaded gun
Love is a bullet that sometimes kills
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  #8  
Old 28-07-2013, 04:47 AM
Juanita
Posts: n/a
 
How can such a song of sadness and sorrow help anyone to heal? It just drags you back down into depression...
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  #9  
Old 28-07-2013, 06:00 AM
elfie88
Posts: n/a
 
Hey everyone,
Thanks a lot for all your replies they have helped, I had already decided to go through with it and face it regardless because I do think in some way it must be fated I didn't know I was going to be on that ward out of the many departments and wards in the hospital til last week when I went to meet my manager and my mother had told me it was ward 15 that he had passed in not 14 so it was a bit of a shock to walk in there. I will inform my manager etc of what happened so she's aware at least, it has been stressing me out a lot more so just thinking I might fail because of my emotions because I know I'm capable of doing the job and I know I should just let it be and am trying my best to stay positive about the situation and not let it bring me down.

Thinking of happy memories and songs that remind me of him will probably help, his was UB40 red red wine. I'll update after a week on the ward hopefully I'll be feeling more positive then.
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  #10  
Old 28-07-2013, 06:07 AM
livingkarma
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juanita
How can such a song of sadness and sorrow help anyone to heal? It just drags you back down into depression...

HEALING 101 -
It triggers the release of grief to work toward healing ...
There are many losses from a death of a loved one; each one has to be resolved ...
Therefore, one has to know the exact cause of each issue they are grieving to heal it ...
During grief, depression is anger turned inward ...
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