what the hell was this?

[epoch]

Last night I had a really bizarre AP and I don't know what to make of it.

Normally when I AP I experience an obvious transition, and I don't remember actively going into this, but it was definitely an astral shift of some sort as opposed to a dream; I was out of my body in a similar way to how I feel when I AP. Last night there was a sudden emergence into it, but it was like I was going into hell or some place I've never entered before, not like this; I've been on some dark and grimy lower planes but this was pure and total chaos in a way I'll never fully be able to put into words. Every little particle of space was compacted and packed with a million chaotic shards of this violent, crazed information, and it was all splitting apart over and over and over, multiplying endlessly, and because I was part of it I was also fragmented into all these billions of pieces. But there was something weird and hugely cohesive about it at the same time... it was measureless and absent from comprehensible emotion.

But it didn't feel like a positive place, it felt like there were demons everywhere and there was this deafening sound like a solid wall of screaming entities and people, billions of them, and I could see and hear these people-souls being shattered infinitely into smaller and smaller components, like they were being replicated constantly into ever smaller atoms and particles. All I could hear was this screaming. Like a billion voices screaming and getting louder and more chaotic and complicated every time they shattered.

But the really messed up thing was that it felt f**king amazing... like I was really getting off on it. I mean I even started climaxing which is a whole load of w-t-f and it felt like I was being channelled through some supermassive demonic entity made up of all these countless components and there was this desperation in me to keep going deeper into it, not half because it felt so damn good. At that point my cat came and got on top of me in the bed which pulled me out of it and I realised what had happened. Been feeling disjointed all day.

Has anyone ever had anything like this happen or might know what it could have been?

[slowsnake]

Hello,
Got no idea,but I'll have half,lol,hahaha

KRB

[epoch]

Hahaha sure thing mate, I'll let you know when I figure out how to blotter it.

[slowsnake]

Originally Posted by epoch

Hahaha sure thing mate, I'll let you know when I figure out how to blotter it.

I have never heard of anything quite like you describe,I have had a hell of a lot of strange things happen to me but nothing like that,and the fact you felt no fear and enjoyed it is a bonus,and my cat jumps on my chest when I am meditating sometimes,maybe your moggy sensed something!

KRB

[epoch]

Yeah I was wondering if she might have sensed something. She's gotten on top of me in the past when I've been having nightmares or when I've been spiralling into some bad anxiety so she seems pretty in tune with me.

I've had some really weird experiences and seen a lot of bizarre and inexplicable imagery during AP, and I've been scared by some of them, so yeah, I guess it was a blessing it felt pleasurable. I'm left wondering though if I witnessed some place or thing that actually exists, or whether it was something my mind conjured. Dunno which seems worse, lol. If it was just my head then JFC idk what's wrong with me.... If it was real though then that's a pretty frightening concept. Like maybe I enjoyed it because I was experiencing it via this supermassive entity. What if I'd been on the opposite side and been trapped as one of those endlessly multiplying soul components, would that have felt any different?

Idk, I mean there wasn't any real sense of separation and I wasn't even really aware of myself as Me, like the concept of myself as an individual wasn't present, I only became aware of myself in that way when the cat jumped on me. So perhaps there wasn't an opposite side to be on and it was all part of the same ubiquitous mass.

[CrystalSong]

Having OBE'd more times than countable and run into a lot of stuff out there, I've come to believe there are infinite Universes of possibility.
Maybe there's a Universe of Chaos.

Have you ever gotten really drunk, to the point everything was spinning and fracturing inside you, a dissolution of self, a falling away of everything, terrifying yet somehow incredibly liberating to just slip into the dissolution and allow oneself to be fall and be swept into the current of swirling spreading chaos? Total Surrender.

Maybe there's a Universe like that?
Where it populates itself through fracturing individuality down into component parts through total surrender of individuality and submission to the forces of entropy and choas?

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

the experience sounds to me like a retelling of the human experience...
the process of implanting souls into earthly manifestation.
"demonic" forces had taken charge over the process at some point
(since it's "ungodly" to forget our connection to divinity), and it's
been an agonizing procedure for eons. HOWEVER: you'd witnessed the
scene from an 'elevated position' (figuratively), as if from the perspective
of heaven, where the process is seen as a holy procedure (thus your
elation). the [forever] promise has been for an end to the experiences
of torment involved with these things... and your AP may have tuned in
to what is coming [while still observing the old energies at play].

[EndoftheRoad]

Originally Posted by CrystalSong

Having OBE'd more times than countable and run into a lot of stuff out there, I've come to believe there are infinite Universes of possibility.
Maybe there's a Universe of Chaos.

Have you ever gotten really drunk, to the point everything was spinning and fracturing inside you, a dissolution of self, a falling away of everything, terrifying yet somehow incredibly liberating to just slip into the dissolution and allow oneself to be fall and be swept into the current of swirling spreading chaos? Total Surrender.

Maybe there's a Universe like that?
Where it populates itself through fracturing individuality down into component parts through total surrender of individuality and submission to the forces of entropy and choas?

Interesting guess. Next time put your knees up on the bed and that should stop the spinning

[epoch]

Originally Posted by CrystalSong

Having OBE'd more times than countable and run into a lot of stuff out there, I've come to believe there are infinite Universes of possibility.
Maybe there's a Universe of Chaos.

Have you ever gotten really drunk, to the point everything was spinning and fracturing inside you, a dissolution of self, a falling away of everything, terrifying yet somehow incredibly liberating to just slip into the dissolution and allow oneself to be fall and be swept into the current of swirling spreading chaos? Total Surrender.

Maybe there's a Universe like that?
Where it populates itself through fracturing individuality down into component parts through total surrender of individuality and submission to the forces of entropy and choas?

Well... I'm a recovering alcoholic, so that probably answers that question.

I'm in two minds about the theory of there being an infinite number of universes. On one hand it makes absolute sense that if there are multiple universes then there must be an infinite amount due to infinite possibilities... it occurs to me, however, that that being the case, there has to be a staggering amount of universes that are the manifestation of literal hell beyond imagination and comparison, and with universal consciousness itself being infinite and experiencing itself through countless reiterations that must mean that at some point as an aspect of conscious experience I and every one of us will end up in at least one of these universes. And eternity being what it is, one has to face the eventual probability we'll all get stuck in them for a measureless amount of time. And who's to say everyone gets out of it? Infinite possibilities and all. There's a reality where billions and billions of universe soul-fragments get stuck for eternity in an actual hell-verse. Yeah. I'd rather not.

But hey, just cause I don't like the sound of something don't mean it ain't real. That's my hangup on the infinite multiverse.

the experience sounds to me like a retelling of the human experience...
the process of implanting souls into earthly manifestation.
"demonic" forces had taken charge over the process at some point
(since it's "ungodly" to forget our connection to divinity), and it's
been an agonizing procedure for eons. HOWEVER: you'd witnessed the
scene from an 'elevated position' (figuratively), as if from the perspective
of heaven, where the process is seen as a holy procedure (thus your
elation). the [forever] promise has been for an end to the experiences
of torment involved with these things... and your AP may have tuned in
to what is coming [while still observing the old energies at play].

This makes a lot of sense; I can imagine that from the perspective of a higher plane of existence the procedure of human incarnation over hundreds of thousands of years might appear and be experienced as a similarly chaotic and exponentially fragmenting mass of noise and information. Do you think it's so impersonal though? It felt more like that entity and by proxy I was experiencing pleasure directly because of... I want to say suffering here because of the screaming, though it's hard to label it with such a dichotomous term. That's why it seemed demonic, since I had that sense of almost sadistic enjoyment, I guess.

[CrystalSong]

You may not have ran into it or not but there was a thread here a while back by someone who's made a pact with the dark side so to speak. They channel one of these Beings of Chaos voluntarily and I spoke with the Being that's riding the person for several pages trying to understand a complete polar opposite paradigm from mine.

As much as infinite possibly is disconcerting and unpleasant in some aspects, talking with the other side was interesting.
One this side of the subject we believe in creativity, expansion, elevation of consciousness, indwelling original Source/God and living as children of that, returning to Union of Oneness. We firmly believe Love is the answer.

On the other side of the equation, they wish to end experience, perpetual re-incarnation is a hell in itself to them, they desire ultimate annihilation - cease of all consciousness forever. No more anything.
They were willing to undergo great suffering if it meant in the end they would end - there would be no more. They wanted total dissolution of being, of awareness, of consciousness. To utterly cease to exist. They found creation endlessly propagating itself to be a spreading horror of endless mindless reincarnation. They didn't want to end it just for themselves and their ilk, but for all consciousness. They firmly believe dissolution of consciousnes is the answer. Total entropy. Full stop.

Not sure where this fits in with your experience, but it sprang to mind and this Being was channeled right here in this forum by someone who's willingly given themself to this entropy chaos agenda of Beings and utterly and completely feels they did exactly the right thing for their soul path.