tf asked to meet then is ignoring me again

[moonsail]

please somebody tell me what to do
I met my TF eleven years ago, at the same time I met another man both online on the same writing forum where I post. I met the second man during one of m tf long abscences which were as you will all know hell.
both have been significant, neither knows of the other but only my tf has had the same pill, but I do love both, and they both have said they love me although the second has always been platonic.

It has always followed that one would reappear when the other disappears.

Suddenly both are on the scene and I have begun to feel a real pull to the second man and he I think on some level to me.

He has always been the kind of man to have guards has disappeared blocked and unblocked me

anyway I decided to put some closure on my tf we hadn't spoken in weeks anyhow, although we have gone a year before. As soon as I started to type a goodbye he logged on and we were both in tears. He has begun to admit the whole tf thing
then a spell of no contact,

two nights ago he messages me he wants to come to uk to be with me but still cannot commit.
we squabbled the first time ever..and I pretty much shut him down.
he kept on sending me songs and so on
at this point I could feel the other man pull away and I actually feel pain because I feel in love with him,
my tf came back online last night saw my message agreeing to meet and in typical style is ignoring me again,,phone to voice mail ect
the other guy is distant too
my heart is torn..i have a loyalty to my tf and am finding pulling away hard but the other guy has some sort of pull on me now
im seeing double numbers ect especially 11 11 ..I just don't know what to do or think,,ive waited eleven almost years for a moment when my tf opens up,i feel close to something but I don't know what or what to do.
I really need help
thanks guys

[ThatMan]

Originally Posted by moonsail

please somebody tell me what to do
I met my TF eleven years ago, at the same time I met another man both online on the same writing forum where I post. I met the second man during one of m tf long abscences which were as you will all know hell.
both have been significant, neither knows of the other but only my tf has had the same pill, but I do love both, and they both have said they love me although the second has always been platonic.

It has always followed that one would reappear when the other disappears.

Suddenly both are on the scene and I have begun to feel a real pull to the second man and he I think on some level to me.

He has always been the kind of man to have guards has disappeared blocked and unblocked me

anyway I decided to put some closure on my tf we hadn't spoken in weeks anyhow, although we have gone a year before. As soon as I started to type a goodbye he logged on and we were both in tears. He has begun to admit the whole tf thing
then a spell of no contact,

two nights ago he messages me he wants to come to uk to be with me but still cannot commit.
we squabbled the first time ever..and I pretty much shut him down.
he kept on sending me songs and so on
at this point I could feel the other man pull away and I actually feel pain because I feel in love with him,
my tf came back online last night saw my message agreeing to meet and in typical style is ignoring me again,,phone to voice mail ect
the other guy is distant too
my heart is torn..i have a loyalty to my tf and am finding pulling away hard but the other guy has some sort of pull on me now
im seeing double numbers ect especially 11 11 ..I just don't know what to do or think,,ive waited eleven almost years for a moment when my tf opens up,i feel close to something but I don't know what or what to do.
I really need help
thanks guys

Take some deep breaths, meditate and forget about all of this and you will feel so much better. You may ask how to forget, even if it's just for a moment? That's what you do when you meditate, you leave everything behind, slowly, until the mind is still and the body is fully relaxed. Immerse yourself in this silence and let the peace flow to your troubled heart.

I, myself, experienced this several times until I finally saw the big picture and I could detach myself from these emotions that are not even real, they are the product of the mind because its most powerful desire is to survive and in order to do so it has to pass on its information to a new life. I was like in a rollercoaster, up and down, up and down, show me signs of love, you would send me to Heaven, show me signs of dislike or ignore me, you would send me to hell, you see, everybody experiences the same thing, it happens on and on.... You may not understand this but if you stop projecting your happiness in future with one of these two people, you will truly find it and you will also find peace...

Take some deep breaths and observe yourself, observe this inner torment, see it for what it is, meditate.

[teak.]

Would you be putting up with man #1 for this long if you'd never read about Twin Souls before? What matters is how people treat you - consistently. Emotionally unavailable people will always go hot and cold on you. It has nothing to do with runners and chasers and separation and union. You have an Insecure attachment style. He has an Avoidant attachment style. You'll spend the rest of your life in this cycle, asking people on spiritual forums what it all means. Give yourself a break from it.