First time telling this, difficult...

okay, this is one of those things where I don't tell people because they'll think I'm nuts. My girlfriend doesn't even know and she is open to spiritual things and strangeness as she is "odd" in a way herself. Please bare with me because there is a lot to explain.

For any of you who read my other post, I had a death in the family in 2008 and I had a breakdown a few weeks later. Soon after this I was so distraught, angry at the world, God, and destiny, and asked God for help in a sense, that I needed to right the past somehow because the series of events were so painful and seemingly unfair. Sounds crazy, I know. What started happening frightened me and I can't prove it, but I started experiencing strange things.

First, I started hearing voices, but not in my ears. Even psychiatrists told me I wasn't having audio hallucinations and wasn't schizo. It was like thoughts were coming into my mind that were not my own and they had a different voice, instead of my own. At first they were louder, after a few months they got lower until I purposefully blocked them out. Over the course of about 1 or 2 months, besides being distraught, these voices would lead me to places near my home where I would experience odd things I can't explain.

One voice was on my birthday, and said it was my dead relative, that she had a specific ring somewhere in her closet, a ring I never remember her having. She said to take it, as a gift for my birthday, and give it to my daughter when she was 18. I went, the ring was there. I later found that one of the only pictures of her and my daughter, she was wearing the ring, a picture I never saw and didn't take.

the 2 other voices, that became daily torments or comforts, led me to more bizarre things. They told me they were god at first and someone I admired who had died, which then changed to the names of angels I never knew existed, to pretty much saying it didn't matter who they were, but they were sent because I asked. Sounds nuts to me too. Here'w what happened next.

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One time they told me to go outside in a torrential downpour. I love the rain so I really didn't care. Then they said something would happen. I waited a minute or so and nothing. Then they said something like, "look over there". I turned, and there was a giant cloud that started flashing with green lightning.

On 2 other occasions, I was near my house, on windless days, I mean very still. The voices said "wave" or "wave hi" and I looked up and 1 single branch of one bush was waving up and down, for several minutes, while no other plant or branch was mildly swaying. this happened twice in 2 different locations.

another time was at night, I was walking around the block (which I did to calm my nerves) and they told me they would prove they were there. I walked for about a half a block and the voice said, "I'm over here." I asked where, and then it sounded like someone had jumped and landed hard on the brick sidewalk with their shoes about 10 feet to my left. Then immediately after it sounded like they ran off down the block.

yet another time I was walking around another block nearby on a perfectly clear summer day with no clouds, when the voices told me they were going to show me something. Just then a rain drop fell and hit my face and they said "look down." I looked and there was a torn shred of paper at my feet. I looked at it and couldn't tell what it had been ripped out of, but the words that were left, from different sentences, said in paraphrase that there were people I knew burning black candles for me.

Another time they said "Go outside. We put something in the sky for you." And I saw something beautiful. It was like a star, but not, like refracting golden light that was glowing like a stretched diamond and it morphed a bit. I know I wasn't hallucinating because I showed 3 other people and they saw it.

Yet other times, on about 10 separate occasions, they told me to go out side and look at the clouds. This stuff got really bizarre now. One time I went out and the letters of my first name were punched out of the clouds. Other times I would see the face of my dead relative, or this person I admired who died soon after her.

yet another time (as I was coming out of my depression) I wanted to go to a sports event, I couldn't afford it, and they said I would go and not have to pay and have better seats than expected. I ended up getting seats nearly front row (which I didn't realize until I got there) and someone I least expected put up the money for the tickets so my girlfriend and I could go at the very last minute.
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Now, I'm not someone who believes in coincidence, particularly when you string these all together, but it scares me because I don't know what is going on. Recently I started hearing them again, and many times I an just fight them off, and I don't like it. I don't know what they are or what they want. They tell me that they were sent to help when I need it, and most often they seem to be voices of reason. I still think I'm just doing it somehow, but then I can't explain the other events. The thing that is eerie is that they keep telling me I will be able to right something in the past somehow, in a metaphysical way, but not until I get a bit stronger will I be allowed to. They also told me before my recent problems arose, that they were going to happen, not specifics, but that the next month or so would be very difficult for me to deal with, maybe the hardest time in my life, but I was getting much closer to where I needed to be to resolve the past and would be so much stronger after it.

So anyway, I hope you don't all think I'm nuts. With my depression, and intellect, I can't help but question my sanity. But, if I'm just crazy, how could all that other stuff happen if I was just inventing this in my brain? I don't even have to focus to hear them. Is it possible these "things" are positive beings sent to help me in my times of great sorrow and distress? Is it possible they are negative and adding to or causing the problems? Any thoughts or advice are welcome. I'm at a loss.

oh, and I forgot one. One time they told me I would see something from the future as soon as I got home, and when I walked in, someone showed me a mug from a navy vessel that had latin words that meant something like, "the ship of the future".

[Silver]

Well, that IS trippy, blueIce. I believe you. I'm not sure what else to say at this point. You've done an awesome job of describing things. I'd just like to know a little more detail about the voices. Do they talk to each other? Do you understand everything you hear or they say? Does it sometimes souond mumbly and hard to understand? My dreams can be like that, people talking, but things are muffled or just hard to make out. Not saying you're dreaming, but and I don't understand what lucid dreaming is exactly...

I mention the movie, Mothman on occasion on the forum here, and the movie comes to mind. Did you see it? My son and I saw the movie then my son decided to read the book, it's based on a true story and it scared me more than any movie ever. Do you think those voices may be evp type voices? It sure is a mystery I'd want to solve if it were happening to me. Wow.

Originally Posted by Silvergirl

Well, that IS trippy, blueIce. I believe you. I'm not sure what else to say at this point. You've done an awesome job of describing things. I'd just like to know a little more detail about the voices. Do they talk to each other? Do you understand everything you hear or they say? Does it sometimes souond mumbly and hard to understand? My dreams can be like that, people talking, but things are muffled or just hard to make out. Not saying you're dreaming, but and I don't understand what lucid dreaming is exactly...

I mention the movie, Mothman on occasion on the forum here, and the movie comes to mind. Did you see it? My son and I saw the movie then my son decided to read the book, it's based on a true story and it scared me more than any movie ever. Do you think those voices may be evp type voices? It sure is a mystery I'd want to solve if it were happening to me. Wow.

I don't think it's like mothman. And not at all like a dream. Try this. Wherever you are now, just start thinking of something, like you are telling yourself directions of how to get somewhere. But instead of your own "thought voice" as I call it, attach the voice of someone else, or a made up voice. THAT is what I hear. It is as clear as clear can be, like any other thought, but it has a voice and therefore speaks in pace I can follow. It has inflection, emotion, jokes with me, it's really like having a conversation with someone.

They never talk to each other. they only refer to each other, and sometimes they go back and forth. Lately, it's only one voice, but the second popped up yesterday.

It's comforting at times, scary at others, I just want to know what it is and where it is coming from. The only other person I told said it was all in my head which makes no sense, and I did tell my girlfriend about my relative, but that was all, and she did believe me. Still doesn't give me any answers though.

Feel free to ask anything. I feel more open on here since it is anonymous ;) And being depressed, just typing helps take my mind off things, even if only 20%.

[Silver]

That's a toughie. I search my mind for familiar things but I can only come up with aliens or govt experiments? Have you heard of the am radio show, Coast to Coast? You could search their site because they're all about stuff like this! Just google C2C or Coast to Coast or George Noory and you're there.

btw, to get a clear idea, if you picture another voice telling you directions, stop it and say, "really, I turn there?" and have the thought voice say, "well yeah, where the hell else would you turn?" That's the best way I can describe it. In the mind, not the ears. Although, sometimes when they tell me they are with me, I start hearing knocks, raps and taps in the room at all different places in short time, or my kids' toy will turn on by itself, or the door will open by itself, or in one instance my girlfriend's caller ID kept showing up on the TV 5 times in a row when she was sitting there not using it. That's how are cable company phones work btw.

It really is like having a conversation with someone. It just tends to be a bit more vague, and tells me it has to be because of the "rules" or because I can only know certain things. Sometimes it's said specifics, where I really knew the thought didn't come from me or was a phrase I never heard, and I'm taken aback, something unique, and it would turn out to be true.

Weird stuff, and I want to know what it is. It's like trying to find a corner in a spherical room. At least that's how it feels. I hope one day I'll run into some spiritualist or medium who can give me something exact. Until then, the madness continues...

[Silver]

Like I said in the previous post, check out George Noory, Coast to Coast, C2C. There will be some answers, I'm almost sure of it. I can't help, I have no idea and I wish I did.

Originally Posted by blueIce

Now, I'm not someone who believes in coincidence, particularly when you string these all together, but it scares me because I don't know what is going on. Recently I started hearing them again, and many times I an just fight them off, and I don't like it. I don't know what they are or what they want. They tell me that they were sent to help when I need it, and most often they seem to be voices of reason. I still think I'm just doing it somehow, but then I can't explain the other events. The thing that is eerie is that they keep telling me I will be able to right something in the past somehow, in a metaphysical way, but not until I get a bit stronger will I be allowed to. They also told me before my recent problems arose, that they were going to happen, not specifics, but that the next month or so would be very difficult for me to deal with, maybe the hardest time in my life, but I was getting much closer to where I needed to be to resolve the past and would be so much stronger after it.

So anyway, I hope you don't all think I'm nuts. With my depression, and intellect, I can't help but question my sanity. But, if I'm just crazy, how could all that other stuff happen if I was just inventing this in my brain? I don't even have to focus to hear them. Is it possible these "things" are positive beings sent to help me in my times of great sorrow and distress? Is it possible they are negative and adding to or causing the problems? Any thoughts or advice are welcome. I'm at a loss.

Well, if you ask me.. there are no "negative" beings.. but certainly they could be unhelpful to your life..

My teacher teaches a idea called the one are all, the all are one.. in simple terms it means were all the same being.. so it doesn't matter if it's hitler, bush, elvis, or that nasty "golem" We are all the same being!

If you really feel these beings are unhelpful you can repeat a phrase/"intention" like.. "I only want to connect to guardian/inner self approved guides/entities" that might help.. but I hazard a guess.. there already approved..

I would just go with the flow and know the communication is not that "unnormal" will become the norm somewhat in the next few decades.. and thank them for their help.. I think their very playful having you see a "tree wave at you" or your name in the clouds.. (it'd be interesting to know if only could see it..? ) and these other things they like to "demonstrate"

The message coming up for your next month sounds like you’re doing your "life lessons" the game of 3d earth is ending.. there's only so much time left to do the things we came to do so maybe your plan for yourself is to get a few done.. or put you a in position to be in a very happy place in the future.. remember you control your destiny even these beings don't.. you are the decider so you don't have to make there "prediction" come true..

If you really want to confirm their identities "externally" or value through people in the world (medium, psychic) who have vast amounts of spiritual abilities/knowledge then I would seek out a person to do just that.. or I can recommend one

[Silver]

When Im driving along the freeway, I like to say hi to the trees (in my mind) and other living or semi-living things, nature things anyway, give them a smile, make a comment. You thought YOU were nutzo. I think my guides etc. would know I'd crash if they pulled somethinglike that on me, lol. I also talk to the stars and planets, simple 'normal' stuff.

Originally Posted by Silvergirl

When Im driving along the freeway, I like to say hi to the trees (in my mind) and other living or semi-living things, nature things anyway, give them a smile, make a comment. You thought YOU were nutzo. I think my guides etc. would know I'd crash if they pulled somethinglike that on me, lol. I also talk to the stars and planets, simple 'normal' stuff.

I've done that too. Don't feel weird. At one point I felt so grounded I used to not be bothered by insects which always shkeeve me out, let beetles crawl on my hands or just drink the rain water of a bush, and all answers to my questions appeared in nature based on how the wind blew, or if a bird flew past at the right time, and everything came and went in stride and was so peaceful. Now those days are gone. But there seems to be ways we can kind of sync-up with things that is natural as opposed to our usual every day hustle and bustle that seems to be in contrast to harmony.

I've even had lucid dreams about plants and bizarre plant growth around my house after I went outside before bed and addressed the earth, literally spoke to it and asked it questions. Some people would say it's the power of the subconscious, but it feels like more to me.

Whatever this crazy universe is really like, I've experienced weirdness that makes me believe there is at least more than what the eyes can see or some machine can measure. What it really is, well that's what I'm sure we'll all find out one day, and some of what I'd like to find out while I'm here, in this life. I'd just like it to come a bit easier than a sledgehammer which is how it usually says hello to me.