Lost My Path

[peacemaker]

There was a time when I used to meditate daily.I have had spiritual experiences which normal can not even think of.I used to play with energy all day in my body.I was able to awaken any moment at my will.I could arouse Kundalini any time I wanted in my spine.

Now I have lost everything.It started with the thought that these these things has no meaning in my life.In life enlightenment is the only thing we should have.I slowly left all my practices day by day.

Now I am very big alcoholic.I was never a successful social and professional person.Now I am not even a spiritual person.

I don`t understand what mistake did I commit?Is it because of my past life karmas?I dont know what path to follow.I dont know where is my teacher.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

"meaning in my life"

you supply the meaning to your life peacemaker.
your gifts are recoverable; no worries on that score.
the alcohol is not gonna lead you out of the funk...
quit that crutch pronto. there's no need to dig yourself
into a deeper hole.

i'm thinking that your situation has developed as a means
for you to ponder on the word "application". you've had
certain skills and abilities, yet been uncertain of where
and how to apply them [is that right?] also, you may have
thought that these unusual gifts have given you "an edge",
and somehow allowed yourself to become (too) reliant on
having them as a source of joy for you... without having
applied them to some 'worthwhile' purpose. i do not
believe that your happiness is reliant on having those
specific skills. having them removed (temporarily) has
provided you the opportunity to discover that fact. you
don't need an edge, and you don't need to compete in
any way in order to bring happiness into your life.

i don't believe you've made a mistake.
i'm convinced that karma is unrelated to this.
follow the path that feels good to you.
you provide life with meaning; do it with joy!
i suspect that your teacher is your own "higher self";
imagine the person that you'd like to become, and
then move in the ways that bring you closer to that.

be well peacemaker,

[HereAndNow]

Originally Posted by peacemaker

In life enlightenment is the only thing we should have.

If you believe in this then why don't you stop drinking and go to search for enlightenment?

[Raziel]

I was always highly spiritual, had great intuition & empathy - always the hero.

At one point Earth seemed like a stupid place to live, all of the bad that happens alongside the bickering about trivial things.

Drinking numbs it all - the spiritual path that constantly throws paradoxes your way, the menial earth issues like money & politics.

The only thing that snapped me out of my dark night of the soul was "doing good".

I volunteered at an animal shelter & a few weeks later gained a full time job there.

Long story short I met my wife there

Do I understand why a good soul was required to suffer? Not really but I fought back out of anger, did good despite feeling awful & ended up doing OK.

I'd advise doing some good - ignore your own needs as much as you can & act out of principal.

People will sugar coat the spiritual side of things, acting as though they really know how it all works but to me its a lot of false promises & self convincing from in reality very scared people.

I heard a quote " God helps those who help themselves " - whilst I find it cruel I can't really argue that me finding my own feet wasn't beneficial so perhaps, as in nature you just need to fight back.


Good luck.

[uloDoe Youn]

Better to have it felt then not at all, once rendered unto it it is sufficioent to prolong and go without it, if you can maintain yourself from overindulging and alcaholic this/ThEre, way.
So give up on trying to make up for lost times and expieriences, And give Life another time of Ex[pressing itself over the abundance of alcoholisim.

Give sense to yourself, and grant yourself the freerun from alcaholic alcoholisim, so that you experience life, and life experience spirituality and spirituality experiences you. BE.TrUE 2 the way of you and you will find shelter in the midst of it too.

Learn Life