has anyone died f om suicide in a past life or attempted and had an nde?

[bluelotus]

Does anyone remember past life memories of committing suicide or had an nde after an attempt? Explain what happened.

[Native spirit]

Yes Linen remembers but she is not available to explain what she remembers at the moment.



Namaste

[linen53]

Thanks Native. I found this.

Yes, I commit suicide in a past life in the colonial era. Early America. My father owned a prosperous large farm (I don't think it was a plantation, but I'm not sure). There was me and my sister. We were both mostly grown. Our mother was dead or at least she didn't live with us and we had an overbearing father.

I was raped by my father's right hand man, his foreman. I knew he guarded our virginity with a tight hand for marriage purposes. I was terrified of him finding out that I was no longer a virgin. That he would blame me.

I snuck in the kitchen and stole one of the knives while the cook was busy doing other things. I found an isolated shed or barn of some sort, sat down and cut my wrists. I remember I was wearing a pink dress with eyelet decorations on the ruffles and edges. I watched at the red blood soaked into the pink cloth.

Let me know if you have any further questions or want to know the consequences of that action.

[~Lioness~]

Originally Posted by linen53

Thanks Native. I found this.

Yes, I commit suicide in a past life in the colonial era. Early America. My father owned a prosperous large farm (I don't think it was a plantation, but I'm not sure). There was me and my sister. We were both mostly grown. Our mother was dead or at least she didn't live with us and we had an overbearing father.

I was raped by my father's right hand man, his foreman. I knew he guarded our virginity with a tight hand for marriage purposes. I was terrified of him finding out that I was no longer a virgin. That he would blame me.

I snuck in the kitchen and stole one of the knives while the cook was busy doing other things. I found an isolated shed or barn of some sort, sat down and cut my wrists. I remember I was wearing a pink dress with eyelet decorations on the ruffles and edges. I watched at the red blood soaked into the pink cloth.

Let me know if you have any further questions or want to know the consequences of that action.

Could you post what the consequences were? Makes me curious

[bluelotus]

Originally Posted by linen53

Thanks Native. I found this.

Yes, I commit suicide in a past life in the colonial era. Early America. My father owned a prosperous large farm (I don't think it was a plantation, but I'm not sure). There was me and my sister. We were both mostly grown. Our mother was dead or at least she didn't live with us and we had an overbearing father.

I was raped by my father's right hand man, his foreman. I knew he guarded our virginity with a tight hand for marriage purposes. I was terrified of him finding out that I was no longer a virgin. That he would blame me.

I snuck in the kitchen and stole one of the knives while the cook was busy doing other things. I found an isolated shed or barn of some sort, sat down and cut my wrists. I remember I was wearing a pink dress with eyelet decorations on the ruffles and edges. I watched at the red blood soaked into the pink cloth.

Let me know if you have any further questions or want to know the consequences of that action.

Ok what were the consequences of your actiond? Do you remember anything that you can research to verify your memories?

[linen53]

Originally Posted by bluelotus

Ok what were the consequences of your actiond? Do you remember anything that you can research to verify your memories?

Consequences, as in committing suicide? There are no consequences. Other than personal feelings of failure.

No, and I don't need to research or verify. I am learning to follow my heart, not my head. For you, I'm sure that sounds absurd, but to me I have all the validation I need.

[linen53]

When I got to the other side, of course I had my life review. I was so very disappointed in myself. No one judged me, I did that all by myself. I had stayed in that lifetime, had set up for my lessons and I had ended my life early. A total waste. There is no judgement for suicide. But I just felt the waste of everything I had been through as a young girl and I ended it prematurely. I knew I would have to start all over again next time. The frustration and disappointment in myself was monumental.

I said I needed time to think.

Two guides took me to what I called the Gray Planet, far away. Sky was gray, flat, no mountains, no plants, gray everywhere you looked. The planet was inhabited with a group of people. All wore gray robes, sandals and all they did was murmur amongst themselves. I have theories about why they were there but I digress.

On the planet was a large transparent bubble. Inside was a paradise. Green trees, blue sky, a cottage, all the makings of a retreat of kinds. My guides directed me to go into the bubble. Once inside I could not get out. There was a horse by the cottage and we became great friends. I would ride for miles into valleys, and meadows, next to streams. It was kind of like the Star Trek hologram.

The murmurers came at times and would murmur amongst themselves as they watched me. When I got tired of them I would go into the cottage for privacy.

While there I thought. I had had so many failures in previous lives. It seemed I had found ways to circumvent my lessons that I reincarnated into to learn. For many lifetimes. So I was there to think of a solution on how I could successfully make it through my lessons rather than to avoid them. I was there for a very long time. Of course on the other side there is no time per se, but still, I was in the bubble for many earth years.

I finally came up with a solution. I would fill my next incarnation with so much strife and pain that I could not avoid my lessons. And so I did. I remember the reincarnation "council" was adamant that it was to much. And it was. I can tell you that now. But I said that was my choice, and so they allowed me to be born into the family that would teach me my life lessons.

Honestly, I barely made it out alive. Healing took many decades. But I did heal. I do not say I am a survivor. I cannot blame my family for lessons I chose them to teach me. I came, learned my lessons and when it's my time to go home this time, it will be because this old body of mine just gives out.

These last few years have been very painful, bodily mostly. More and more has been taken away from me. But I'm still breathing, and as long as I am breathing then I still have lessons to learn.

Let me know if this is detailed enough. If not ask questions. I am always willing to tell of my experience.

[Tobi]

Originally Posted by linen53

When I got to the other side, of course I had my life review. I was so very disappointed in myself. No one judged me, I did that all by myself. I had stayed in that lifetime, had set up for my lessons and I had ended my life early. A total waste. There is no judgement for suicide. But I just felt the waste of everything I had been through as a young girl and I ended it prematurely. I knew I would have to start all over again next time. The frustration and disappointment in myself was monumental.

I said I needed time to think.

Two guides took me to what I called the Gray Planet, far away. Sky was gray, flat, no mountains, no plants, gray everywhere you looked. The planet was inhabited with a group of people. All wore gray robes, sandals and all they did was murmur amongst themselves. I have theories about why they were there but I digress.

On the planet was a large transparent bubble. Inside was a paradise. Green trees, blue sky, a cottage, all the makings of a retreat of kinds. My guides directed me to go into the bubble. Once inside I could not get out. There was a horse by the cottage and we became great friends. I would ride for miles into valleys, and meadows, next to streams. It was kind of like the Star Trek hologram.

The murmurers came at times and would murmur amongst themselves as they watched me. When I got tired of them I would go into the cottage for privacy.

While there I thought. I had had so many failures in previous lives. It seemed I had found ways to circumvent my lessons that I reincarnated into to learn. For many lifetimes. So I was there to think of a solution on how I could successfully make it through my lessons rather than to avoid them. I was there for a very long time. Of course on the other side there is no time per se, but still, I was in the bubble for many earth years.

I finally came up with a solution. I would fill my next incarnation with so much strife and pain that I could not avoid my lessons. And so I did. I remember the reincarnation "council" was adamant that it was to much. And it was. I can tell you that now. But I said that was my choice, and so they allowed me to be born into the family that would teach me my life lessons.

Honestly, I barely made it out alive. Healing took many decades. But I did heal. I do not say I am a survivor. I cannot blame my family for lessons I chose them to teach me. I came, learned my lessons and when it's my time to go home this time, it will be because this old body of mine just gives out.

These last few years have been very painful, bodily mostly. More and more has been taken away from me. But I'm still breathing, and as long as I am breathing then I still have lessons to learn.

Let me know if this is detailed enough. If not ask questions. I am always willing to tell of my experience.

I have heard you talk of this before, Linen. Your story always moves me. Bless you, you strong Old Soul !

[~Lioness~]

Thanks for sharing linen53. Have you heard of overlapping lives? It means basically what it says, it's almost like being unable to really die, like say someone dies, they know it but they're still alive, as if they had another version of them/their body, and they just switched consciousness to the other body.

I asked because I am wondering how you recalled this past life. With overlapping lives (I just call it that) you aware of amd experience dying, and a sort of reincarnation.l, just not to a completely different life not starting over from scratch.

I'm pretty sure that I committed suicide too in one of these previous versions. I experienced a life review too, as the same person I am today, just a younger when I had the review. My life has also been terrible and traumatic.

Anyway I was curious how you remembered the time between lives and your past life. If you want to share

[linen53]

Originally Posted by BlueSkiez

Thanks for sharing linen53. Have you heard of overlapping lives? It means basically what it says, it's almost like being unable to really die, like say someone dies, they know it but they're still alive, as if they had another version of them/their body, and they just switched consciousness to the other body.

I asked because I am wondering how you recalled this past life. With overlapping lives (I just call it that) you aware of amd experience dying, and a sort of reincarnation.l, just not to a completely different life not starting over from scratch.

I'm pretty sure that I committed suicide too in one of these previous versions. I experienced a life review too, as the same person I am today, just a younger when I had the review. My life has also been terrible and traumatic.

Anyway I was curious how you remembered the time between lives and your past life. If you want to share

My answer is very long and complicated. I will try to keep it simple and short. My answer encompasses several experiences. The first one I had selective amnesia most of my youth and young adult life in this incarnation. When I was in my 30's childhood memories came flooding in. I've read when this occurs there is actually a part of the brain that becomes active. Amongst those horrible childhood memories my guides and angels threw in a few memories of my life between lives. That tiny shred of hope was the only thing that kept me from committing suicide. One of those memories was the past life suicide and subsequent life I lived afterwords before I reincarnated. Another memory of a past life that is unrelated to this missive was once when I lived as a Nordic warrior.

Secondly, the second experience was in 2012. I got West Nile Meningitis. That is the West Nile flu and inflammation of the lining of the brain and the spine. I ended up with brain damage. You think of brain damage as losing part of your brain, and in some ways that is true, but in my case I also accessed certain things on the other side of the veil. I witnessed happenings. I wrote it all down because I knew I would eventually forget it if I didn't.

Now with this time I also had two lucid dreams of other me's that are concurrently living their lives as I live this one. We are all here learning different things. We don't share deaths. We live entirely different lives.

One of the me's I saw lived in a large city with tall modern buildings. I kind of just dropped in on her (unseen) to observe her. She was walking down the street. She was smart, slender, dressed as a business woman. She looked up to one of the tall buildings and I knew she was looking up to where she worked. There was such a feeling of achievement and pride at what she had accomplished to get where she was at that time. Then she sensed someone was next to her (me). She turned in my direction but of course she couldn't see me. I popped out of there so as not to disturb her anymore.

The second me lived on a different planet. Orange skies. No mountains, hills. Stunted vegetation. This setting was different. She saw me and came to me in greeting, welcoming me. We recognized each other and embraced. She was plump, graceful, kind and wore a dress that flowed down her body graciously. I knew instantly, her background. She had been raised in a loving family and she was an artist. She invited me to go through a small rickety wooden gate into her domain. Lol, there was no fence on either side, just the gate and a rundown archway of sorts, but squared not rounded. She wanted to show me her home, family and art work. That's all I remember.

------------

I can only speak for myself BlueSkiez, but when I reincarnated into this life, I chose to have a very bad lifetime to make up for all the failures in the past. So really I can't be angry, mad or rage at anyone but myself and I won't do that either.