Befriending the ego

[FrogWarrior]

I was dead set on annihilating my ego, but before I did a sacred plant medicine ceremony, the guy I stayed with (the shaman recommended I stay with him, he was clearly spiritually adept) the night before and after the ceremony, he said "I don't have a problem with my ego, so long as its a proper ego". His perspective was that we incarnate with the ego, seeking to destroy it is seeking to escape what it. So his approach instead is "developing a proper ego". He said a few things which indicated a lack of wisdom (one example is he said he perceives people who commit suicide as traitors, I'm a bit too wise and compassionate to hold a view like that), but he was ahead of me in a whole lot of ways, and he influenced me a lot.

This proper ego thing, it stuck. He also said the only advice he gives people going into the ceremonies is "keep breathing". I didn't understand it, and still don't quite understand it. I lost focus of my breathe throughout most of the ceremony, and afterwards when he asked if I kept breathing and I told him no, he said "you should have, you would have". He was clearly psychic, I noted that. He impacted my "journey" in the ceremony, theres no question about that.

Developing a proper ego, I take it, this means cleaning ones shadow so that the ego comes into the light more and more, and is transformed from a menace into a friend/ally/servant of the heart. I could be completely misinterpreting it, but befriending the ego is replacing my old intent to destroy it.

This appears to be a nice representation of the process (its funny too):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYOXUYahyIU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhauDAMg7Ho
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8wek950vOc

Transforming the mind from adversary to ally.

[HereAndNow]

Hi FrogWarrior,
Great that you found an approach that works for you!

"Ego" can mean many things though ... this can be confusing.
Like (taken quickly from various dictionaries):
1. Your feeling of your self-importance
2. The part of you that separates itself from the outside world and considers itself a separate entity from the rest of nature and the cosmos.
3. Your idea or opinion of yourself
4. The part of a person's mind that tries to match the hidden desires with the demands of the real world
5. The “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others.

When someone talks about developing a proper ego he probably means number 3, 4 or 5 ... while if someone talks about destroying the ego he probably means number 1 or number 2.

So there is no contradiction really.

And what regards destroying the ego ... to my opinion destroying something - or any such aggressive attitude - never works in things spiritual ... it only creates more tension.
What is unnecessary needs to be let go of ... gently.

Good luck!

[Iamit]

Originally Posted by FrogWarrior

I was dead set on annihilating my ego, but before I did a sacred plant medicine ceremony, the guy I stayed with (the shaman recommended I stay with him, he was clearly spiritually adept) the night before and after the ceremony, he said "I don't have a problem with my ego, so long as its a proper ego". His perspective was that we incarnate with the ego, seeking to destroy it is seeking to escape what it. So his approach instead is "developing a proper ego". He said a few things which indicated a lack of wisdom (one example is he said he perceives people who commit suicide as traitors, I'm a bit too wise and compassionate to hold a view like that), but he was ahead of me in a whole lot of ways, and he influenced me a lot.

This proper ego thing, it stuck. He also said the only advice he gives people going into the ceremonies is "keep breathing". I didn't understand it, and still don't quite understand it. I lost focus of my breathe throughout most of the ceremony, and afterwards when he asked if I kept breathing and I told him no, he said "you should have, you would have". He was clearly psychic, I noted that. He impacted my "journey" in the ceremony, theres no question about that.

Developing a proper ego, I take it, this means cleaning ones shadow so that the ego comes into the light more and more, and is transformed from a menace into a friend/ally/servant of the heart. I could be completely misinterpreting it, but befriending the ego is replacing my old intent to destroy it.

This appears to be a nice representation of the process (its funny too):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYOXUYahyIU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhauDAMg7Ho
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8wek950vOc

Transforming the mind from adversary to ally.

The ego is the facade of our character/personality constructed by mind for defensive purposes geared to the perceived threats that it has detected in the context of our experience. It is essential to our survival. It takes energy to maintain and mind will only maintain the aspects of it that it regards as relevant. This may vary as we evolve.

Far from being a barrier to our connection to Oneness, it is already Oneness manifesting as that protection.

[markings]

Originally Posted by Iamit

Far from being a barrier to our connection to Oneness, it is already Oneness manifesting as that protection.

... of something that does not really need protection?
Why would ego, if part of the Oneness need protection? It only needs it to maintain its separation.

With crime we say follow the money, here we can who or what benefits. This kind of ego-self-serving view is what the ego would come up with, isn't it?

A proper ego is one which does not exists.

Poor Ego

It gets blamed for so much. It is always fun to hear how proud some people are when they declare they have gotten rid of, or are now in complete control of their ego. I expect it is quite a boost to the ego.
I don't know why or when the ego got pegged as such a focus of evil in the modern spiritual world. It seems like the mind hears about how regressive the ego is and decides it should try to get rid of it.... which is another way of saying it needs to make some improvements... to its conception of self... which is the ego. If it can convince itself it has succeeded it feels much better about itself... which is quite an ego boost.
My ego, like my body, bears a lot of scars from the many wounds I have suffered in life (as we all have). And like my body, it often acts up and gives me aches and pains from those old wounds. But those aches, pains, and scars tell a story, they remind me of the accumulation of a lifetime of experiences. Anyway, my ego, like my body, was not there before I was born, and won’t be there after I die, in the meantime, I figure I need both to experience life in the manner I had intended. So when the aches and pains flair up, I try to accept them for what they are (to varying degrees of success) and move on. Dwelling on the aches and pains and wishing they were not there just seems to intensify them. If I focus on getting on with life, before long, they subside into the background and don’t bother me so much.

[ocean breeze]

From destroying an imaginary enemy to befriending an imaginary friend. Different forms of attachment.

Who seeks to annihilate or befriend?

[markings]

Getting rid of the ego could be also be called transforming the ego, but as western conceptions of ego are one-dimensional there is nothing to transform it into. Therefore one can only talk about ego being there or not there.

[Iamit]

Originally Posted by markings

... of something that does not really need protection?
Why would ego, if part of the Oneness need protection? It only needs it to maintain its separation.

With crime we say follow the money, here we can who or what benefits. This kind of ego-self-serving view is what the ego would come up with, isn't it?

A proper ego is one which does not exists.

Ask the question, if All is One, what else, other than Oneness, is available to arise as Ego?

Ego is our character/personality constructed by mind to defend against rejection starting in childhood and retained as necessary throughout our lives. Mental hospitals are full of people whose egos have been crushed by rejection.

In some people mind projects the ultimate defense against rejection, that the separate person no longer exists, which is another way of saying that ego has been eliminated or overcome. That defense is often referred to as enlightenment, liberation, or awakening. Far from being eliminated, Ego contiues to exist, hiding behind that defense.

In other cases a resonance with the idea All is One sees that ego must be Oneness manifest and does not have to be modified in any way for the purpose of connection to that Oneness.

[markings]

Originally Posted by Iamit

Ask the question, if All is One, what else, other than Oneness, is available to arise as Ego?

Ego is our character/personality constructed by mind to defend against rejection starting in childhood and retained as necessary throughout our lives. Mental hospitals are full of people whose egos have been crushed by rejection.

In some people mind projects the ultimate defense against rejection, that the separate person no longer exists, which is another way of saying that ego has been eliminated or overcome. That defense is often referred to as enlightenment, liberation, or awakening. Far from being eliminated, Ego contiues to exist, hiding behind that defense.

In other cases a resonance with the idea All is One sees that ego must be Oneness manifest and does not have to be modified in any way for the purpose of connection to that Oneness.

Oneness giving birth to ego, which then creates separation against which it will have to defend itself because western ego becomes the self-reference point against which everything is judged.
Is it any wonder that world is full of physically and mentally sick people?

What is proposed as a remedy? Enhancing, developing and nurturing the ego. The thing which has caused the whole problem to begin with. A great strategy.

[Iamit]

Originally Posted by markings

Oneness giving birth to ego, which then creates separation against which it will have to defend itself because western ego becomes the self-reference point against which everything is judged.
Is it any wonder that world is full of physically and mentally sick people?

What is proposed as a remedy? Enhancing, developing and nurturing the ego. The thing which has caused the whole problem to begin with. A great strategy.

Working from the assumption that Oneness is the only reality then yes it could be said that Oneness creates/appears as ego. There is a version that tries to describe the mechanisms by which that ceation/appearance arises. One such is that mind is created/appears as the protector of the organism/person and constructs the ego (character/personality) to defend against rejection. In such a scenario ego does not have to be eliminated for the purpose of connection to Oneness because ego must also be Oneness! It only becomes problematic if ego is excluded from being Oneness which of course would be a contradiction in terms as there is nothing else available if Oneness is the only relality!

We are so used to regarding some things as unacceptable that its difficult to break that habit to include those things as Oneness, but until that is done the tension between our views about those things and all inclusive Oneness prevents the end of feeling disconnected. So it is not that ego needs to be developed but simply accepted as Oneness. Mind can and will continue to monitor and maintain the ego it has constructed as it deems necessary depending on how it perceives threats of rejection in our relationships.

It should be emphasised however that disconnection from Oneness is impossible because it must already be Oneness appearang as our feeling of disconnection! Thats how complete and unavoidable connection to Oneness is.

:)