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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Indigo, Crystal, & Star Children

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Old 18-01-2016, 11:44 PM
Akera Akera is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 9
Confused - No spiritual connection / Star People/ Earth Angel -Please Help

I'm 20 years old. My whole life I've had social phobia, depression, anxiety, insomnia

I've always felt different. I look at people like they're foreign and odd. It's hard for me to even believe I'm one of them. Humans are so full of hatred and negativity. Human bodies to me are not attractive. They're so imperfect. I break down every night due to being depressed. I dislike it here. This world is not right. Life is not enjoyable. Humans disgust me pretty much.

I'm extremely sensetive. Ill cry over reading about deaths of people or animals.
I'm nice to everyone and try to help out. I'm compassionate and try to understand everyone's way of thinking.

I'm on the outside looking in. I prefer to watch, in fact I sort of enjoy watching. I don't like to get involved. I feel zoned out, or not in tune with reality.

I feel like someone is always watching me.

I don't talk. Like at all. English is in a way foreign to me even though I was born in the US 100% american.

I get extreme Deja Vu. Like I KNOW I've had this happen before. Or i remember reading something at this exact moment. When brand new episodes of shows come on sometimes, I've seen them before. I know I have, i can recall what happens. I feel like I've watched them a long time ago.

I believe in True Love. Forever love. Soul Mates. Not the human love. I don't want to get involved with anyone. I feel like I have someone waiting , or maybe its me wishing i have a 'True Love' elsewhere who understands me.

I find myself saying ' I want to go Home' all the time. Yet I live with my parents at 'home'. But its not home. But i don't know where real home is.

Recently I looked up 'I want to go Home' and found out about Star People and Earth Angels. I cried. It resonated with me. I'm not sure if it's because I'm one, or because I'm not alone in my thinking.

I don't know if souls exist. I dont even know if this earth exists or other people. I hope souls exist. I hope its true, so when i die I'm free and don't have to be here anymore. I don't want to be reincarnated.

I love to read about Alien/UFO sightings, and planets. I want proof of something else.

I've tried to tap into Past Lives, or to get some sort of sign about who I am and why I'm here.
However.. Nothing. I've tried clearing my mind, listening to Celtic music.

They say you need to imagine doors and walking through them. However I have Aphantasia. When I close my eyes its just pitch black. I can't imagine or 'see' anything. I talk think, not see think. Its extremely depressing. I cannot picture faces, objects or anything. I dream, but there are no details. I know there is color, but even hair and facial structures i cannot make out.

I don't know what to do. I hope I'm not just some Human who will just die or get reincarnated. I want there to be more. However I can't see angels/demons/spirits/auras. I have no proof or evidence that I'm more than just a plain human.
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Old 19-01-2016, 12:43 AM
wolfgaze wolfgaze is offline
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: Earth
Posts: 3,313
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You're not really a 'human' in the sense that it's not a reflection of your higher nature and identity. You're just temporarily have a 'human experience' and playing the role of one. : ) But it's important to remember that this applies to all others whom you perceive as well. They're having a temporary 'human experience' too, and the extent to which we remember this and have this awareness varies from individual to individual. Some people are heavily invested in and identified with their roles and their human characters - they're currently unaware that there could be something more to all this than this individual lifetime.

As far as your reaction to that material that you came across, I would tend to perceive that it may stem indeed from realizing that you are not alone in your thinking. Just my subjective opinion here...

Hang in there... Keep conscioisly 'seeking' - searching for answers, questioning, engaging in introspection & contemplation, and exploring new concepts and ideas which challenge your preexisting understanding of this 'reality' that you are experiencing. All of these conscious actions will have a cumulative effect over time and serve to transform your state of awareness (state of being). I know it may be hard to perceive this right now but it's true. : )

Internal developments and breakthroughs will happen and unfold for you when the timing is right (for you). It's important that you maintain the intention to 'go beyond yourself' and come to experience something more than you currently find yourself experiencing. You'll get there, friend...

By the way, if you enjoy the UFO subject matter, there's a documentary that I really used to enjoy called 'I Know What I Saw' (produced by James Fox)... It used to air on the History Channel quite a bit and you can find it in full on youtube. I must have watched it 12-15 times several years ago. Truthfully I'm not that big into the UFO phenomenon anymore, but at the time back then I was really into any material which stimulated my awareness and influenced me to ponder and use my imagination in ways that pushed my perception beyond my former identification with our limited Earth-centric perspective. It's like you steer your state of awareness in the direction of embracing a much more expanded view/outlook... I think you know what I mean..*

Take care Akera and be well...

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Old 19-01-2016, 02:09 AM
chrischung110 chrischung110 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 95

You seem like a ET soul... well most people are except for the indigenous natives. You might be indigo child, because indigo children were known to say to their parents, "This isn't my home. You're not my parents. I want to go home!"

I think you are one of the Brothers/ Sisters of sorrow who came to this planet to help raise the vibrations to prevent major cataclysms and such. We were supposed to ascend 1999, but Mother Earth extended the end date because there was so much light in the world, like you!

The Blue star prophecy was fulfilled with Comet Holmes in 2007, which starts the window of opportunity for ascension, the time we will be going back "home". But it's a process the Great White Brotherhood have been helping with. We are in 3rd dimension, but soon, we will ascend to 4th dimension of instantaneous manifestation. Eventually, we get back "home". We are all waiting for the Red star prophecy.

You remind me of myself. I was really depressed and suicidal during school days. I also cried when heard about babies and animals being tortured in psychology classes. I bet you see a lot of synchronicity guidance numbers like 1111, 1010, 444, etc.
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Old 19-01-2016, 10:21 AM
Malachite Malachite is offline
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 59
Wow you're a beautiful soul Akera. I'm in a similar almost identical situation. I dont fit in with most humans, lots of depression, cant speak English flowingly. My only loyal friend is music. And there is no place in the world that can cater to people like us....unless you incarnated with rich parents (which i didnt). What i mean is, no place where we can go to be around kindred souls who understand us, without paying a stupid amount of money regularly.
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Old 19-01-2016, 05:23 PM
Akera Akera is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 9
Thank you everyone for responding, and those who just took the time to even read everything I wrote.

I appreciate all the information. It's a lot to take in but was very touching to read everyone's comments here.

@chrischung110 I do see those times, I'll randomly look at the clock or timer to see them, not all the time but most days. I never really thought anything of it. Thank you for all the information on the Blue and red star prophecies. I did some research and i find it quite interesting.

@wolfgaze I need to try meditating more whenever I can find quite/undisturbed time. I'm realizing I should not be overthinking or worrying about this. I should become more open, but not let it overcome me. Thank you for the documentary, I will have to check it out:)

@Malachite I cannot find words in English or it takes me quite some time to figure out the word for an object. Music is an escape. I listen more to the rhythm than the lyrics. It makes me feel more powerful and alive. I agree that everything revolves around money. Its unfortunate. I read a lot of articles and questions online and I see quite often people who prefer money over human life. It makes me very sad.
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Old 20-01-2016, 06:25 AM
nadia5 nadia5 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: venus
Posts: 46
Hi Akera,
I understand your pain/experience you've shared on your post (no spiritual connection). I've dealt with the exact things for the past 7 years (and i'm 20 too )

I used to be real uncomfortable around people (family included) like i'd have trouble voicing my thoughts/feelings because words as tools seemed pretty limited. whenever i'd look up the stars i would burst into tears as i've never felt "at home" here on earth. I used to be so depressed that I'd almost given up on my desire to live until about 4/5 years ago when my life took a different turn and introduced me to a bigger picture.

here are a few references to the material that helped me transcend my pain and took me from victimhood out of limitation- to bliss out of infinity (hope that makes sense)

[tip: these work from your core- i'd recommend that whatever you wish to seek information about keep that at the core of your mind/heart when looking it up online. we all have spirit guides/higher selves that mysteriously pop references in our way to make it easier for us.]

so here's a few that might be useful...

1) channeling Erik.com (conversations with my son in the afterlife) - its a good starter. do check out topics on parallel realities/alien channeling/dimensions and merging multidimensional selves

2) awakening with dr. suzanne lie and the arcturians

3) kryon by lee carol

both 2 and three offer meditations upon accessing our higher selves and understanding our soul purpose.

some books:
a separate reality - carlos castaneda
messages from hollow earth - dianne robbins (the list goes on, if these prove to be useful i'd be happy to share a few more if you'd like)
again we all have different belief systems, so feel free to choose/alter acc to your comfort. but do give them a try each.

p.s if you have a Vipassana meditation centre near where you live try visiting once, they have 10 day courses (free of cost) that help as kickstarters.

I sincerely wish you happiness. feel free to text me anytime :)
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