Becoming A Light Worker and Shaman
Events of the past few months, since the beginning of this year really, has forced me to take a good, long and hard look at my life.
I have done absolutely nothing with it, except for isolating myself in meditation. Why?
Ever since I was born, I have found it impossible to live up to the unreasonable and unrealistic expectations of society, including my own family and friends.
I am fully aware of my own personal limitations, but they are not... especially when it boils down to me doing what they all want me to do, and not whenever it comes to supporting me with anything I choose to do.
I am sure many of you have heard it all before.. whenever it comes to another's self-serving agenda: "you can do it! you have unlimited power and potential! I have so much faith in you!"..but when it comes to taking any personal initiative: "you will never achieve it! you don't have what it takes! you are just wasting your time! It is a really dumb idea.." etc etc...so, all of these "mixed messages" I have received throughout my entire life have been utterly phenomenal, quite literally paralyzing me due to indecision...or lacking the ability to even make one.
All my life, I have told my family all of my plans, because total honesty, unrestrained divulgence and having absolutely NO boundaries between child and parent, was a relic from the Communist fallout following the WW2 era, which has absolutely NO place in today's society.
If I kept ANY information from my family, I was being "dishonest", "sneaky", "untrustworthy", "a criminal/traitor" yet, if I shared anything, I was ridiculed, abused, discouraged, gossiped about and told every possible way why I was "wrong" and they all were "right"...I just couldn't win which ever way I went with that...but lately, I have figured out it is better just to keep everything a secret with them and have all of those former "labels" and become disowned by all and sundry, rather than suffer the consequences of what happens if and when I share my hopes and dreams with them all.
It was during this realisation, I have decided to become a Shaman and undertake such trainings...I have met the prerequisites for this and I also understand what makes certain people follow this path now....their parents probably wanted them to be doctors or lawyers... become billionaires...drive around in Mercs...own islands in the Pacific...you know, everything THEY wanted to do, but then "wasted their lives" having children..so they resent the children for "ruining their lives" and seek to continually punish them for it until the day either of them dies.
So, when the child (who is now a middle aged woman) says "you know what? I am big enough and ugly enough to decide how I want to live my OWN life, but thanks anyway" the parents will complain to the rest of society or the "tribe" about how their own children...their own flesh and blood don't even care if they live or die...they will make their sob story sound SO authentic, complete with all the crocodile tears they can muster, so as to elicit pity, sympathy, empathy, compassion towards THEM and hatred, disgust, avoidance and ignorance towards their child as a "payback" or a "retribution" for disobedience or insubordination.
After like 30-40 years of this, the child goes.."well, I have nothing more to lose here and everything to gain, so I may as well become a Light Worker or a Shaman and the ONLY ones who would have a problem with that, would be demons and evil beings from the lower astral planes, inhabiting the bodies of friends and family members, pretending to act like them to trick me into staying stuck in a rut and getting nowhere with my life.