Closed Heart Chakra

[cloudburst]

Hello,
I'm in a terrible place I cannot seem to escape. For 5 years, I subjected myself to an energetically and emotionally abusive relationship. A spirit guide advised me to let this man go, and I did not listen, continuing to damage myself for 3 years. I was only 18, but I was powerful, empathic, loving, and understanding. I loved being there for people, and subsequently, I loved broken people. I ended the relationship on Independence Day and have not seen or made real contact since. But despite the time I've had to heal..I haven't. I no longer feel empathy, or even sympathy. I no longer feel love and compassion. I feel utterly numb, but I don't feel regular psychotherapy can help me - I have gone through talk therapy about the trauma, I have had hypnotherapy to try and cut any cords, I see a reiki practitioner who also specializes in craniosacral. I use guided meditations, I breathe into my heart center and ask it to open, I have others send me loving vibrations - and this happens: my chest becomes heavy, there is pressure. I feel sick to my stomach. I have to pull away from the embrace.
I no longer feel truly connected to those around me. I'm afraid interactions with my ex have irreparably damaged my heart chakra. He was very skilled with manipulating energy - especially sexually. And he desperately craved my love, but could not receive it, for I was unwilling and finally unable to give it. I don't know what ties he still holds to my soul despite my attempts to sever them. I don't know how to go about opening my heart.
Any advice is much appreciated.
cb

[Carnate]

I think your past hurt has changed how you see other people and yourself. Now, when you try to help others, the memories and energies of this trauma come to the surface and have an impact on your intentions and your energy field.

I would normally suggest counselling to help with this, but it seems like you have tried already. I think this comes down to forgiving your ex, and accepting that this was a learning experience for you. In many ways, you need to understand why your ex behaved the way he did, and accept that he was doing so for his own reasons.. 'you' may not have factored into these choices he made very often, but that doesn't mean those choices weren't right for him when he made them.

This type of acceptance, when viewed in a positive way (not in terms of how it impacted on you) will let you see that he was looking out for his own interests. And he's allowed to do that. Just as you're allowed to move on if that's in your best interests.

Taking on this perspective allows you to understand and respect that he's simply in a different position (or spiritual level / advancement) than you. He's not a bad person, or doing things specifically to hurt you, he's just doing bad things because he's accustomed to focusing solely on him. This works for him... whether or not it has repercussions for other people.

Accept this, forgive the hurt he's done you, and you will be more ready to understand, love, and assist other people.

[slowsnake]

Hello,
Your ex partner has not got any hold on you,you have put the "hold" on yourself!
You have to reclaim your "self" again,this sad relationship has affected who you really are,your self esteem for starters needs to be brought back,your compassion and empathy are still there but playing background roles!

You have pushed all the negatives forward as if to say that they "prioritise" your life,this is who I am now,this is what others see from the outside,but its you,your view from the inside, this is what you see and feel,do you think he is sitting back caring about you!

You have come down hard on yourself,: maybe trying to punish yourself for making a silly mistke in a relationship!
You did nothing wrong, why should you suffer,you have to reclaim who you are as a person,forget the past and look to the future!

Kind Regards Billy.

[Tobi]

Dear cloudburst,
Even though you know perfectly well that this relationship had to end, and it has released you and it is gone.....yet there is always a period of grieving after a relationship 'dies'. Even if it was abusive.
The Heart energies are very much and deeply affected by the grieving process. There is often a period of numbness and shutting-out of Heart felt energy. In grieving usually it comes in waves. But a feeling of total numbness is not unknown also.
And many people can almost panic when they feel this, because it feels like the Heart will never open again.
I feel it is a natural response...probably a 'guarding' mechanism in the deeper mind. And sometimes it can be as a result of emotional overload.
(Like....you know when you're absolutely exhausted and cannot do any more, cannot respond, can't think, and feel like a zombie? Because all you need to do is rest and sleep? Well, it's as if the Heart feels that way and its only recourse is to shut down to one degree or another.)

If you can, first of all, try not to panic. A Heart left alone to recover will recover in its own time. YES it will. Allow this grief to be processed, and do not reject any emotion which surfaces during this period. Allow those emotions to be recognised and felt, and pass through you. Don't identify with any facet of that. You are not "Anger", you are not "a Victim", or any other particular facet. You are not one or two of those things. You are you, experiencing all those things for a period of time, then gradually letting go of them.
How long? There is no way you can impose 'clock-time' on this process. It doesn't work that way. It will be finished when it's finished.

Meanwhile remain simply and gracefully open to life and its opportunities (while of course, being mindful of lessons learned during your most recent relationship). There may be much you don't feel like doing, but just allow life to continue, and if you keep aligned with decent core-principles somehow deep down inside, creative and healing new things will arrive in your life.
Those new experiences will melt away any energetic blocks you have concerning that relationship. And one day it will be a memory only. And if you do that, the Heart will open again naturally in its own time.

Strangely enough, it is possible that some form of grief therapy may help you too.

[7luminaries]

Often, severe trauma or heartbreak will leave you numb and somewhat broken for a long time...unable to contain the fullness of your normal range...like water running through a cracked cup.

This can be frightening...so you go from numbness to mild terror...as it feels like emotional waterboarding as the cracks begin to mend. You may feel terrified at drowning in the pain you begin to feel again from time to time...not pleasant. And frequently, this numbs you out again as an automatic reaction to the severe fear and/or the pain.

Try to ride the wave of whatever, even the fear, or terror, or numbness.
Eventually you begin to want to get past the fear and you will push to stay present to the pain, to avoid the backlash of numbness yet again.

Whenever the tears finally come and you are able to contain your emotion and stay with the pain...this is a great victory. Feeling your pain is a huge step forward...this is a step toward healing. You come to the place where you look forward to the pain, because you know this means your cup (heart) is patched over well enough so that you can actually hold your fear and feel it. The pain is not running out through the cracks AND you can once more handle the fear of drowning in it.

You will get there. Allow your heart to be as it is. Allow your heart to heal as it needs to and in its own time. Appreciate your pain...weird as that sounds. Go easy on yourself.

And be ok with the person that emerges on the other side. Don't be surprised if you are different to who you were before in some way. That's normal, and you're not bad or damaged just because you've been scarred and even broken in some ways. You can and will heal, and however you come out is also good and worthy and deserving of love and compassion...certainly your OWN

If you find you ever need help, ask the angels for healing and guidance. Sometimes, you just need the healing. They will always come through for you.

Also -- I agree -- if you have a grief support group you could attend...that could be really helpful for real support and affirmation.

Peace & blessings,
7L

[AngelRain]

The best thing you can do is work on your heart chakra. i too have suffered through trauma and abusive relationships which severely hindered my perception of the world. As soon as I started working on my heart chakra I realized that everything was ok and that it was time to let those things go.

https://angelrainsite.wordpress.com/...late-exercise/

[Adityahridayam]

Yes you need to work on your heart chakra. Once you are able to hold the kundalini in a chakra, you can effectively activate it by meditating on that chakra. This concept applies to all the chakras. Once your naval chakra is well activated, you have to move the energy to the next higher chakra called anahat chakra or the heart chakra. But moving the energy is not easy because of two factors. One is the distance from the naval chakra to the heart chakra, the longest distance between any two chakras. Secondly, there is Vishnu granthi or knot, which has to be pierced and is located just above the naval chakra. This can be pierced only by repeated practice.

[happyhorse]

It may be that your muscles around your chest are contracted due to prolonged trauma, which made you "close down" for obvious reasons (to protect yourself). Now when you are out of the abusive environment you need to learn to open yourself up again, both emotionally and physically.

The great thing is that we have bodies which can help us to recover from bad things. When you breathe, and the breathing over the is chest shallow/constricted, then you have some kind of "blockage" over that part. And sometimes just breathing can't be enough, but you need to use your body and assist "opening up" the part you are struggling with.

Tai Chi is a great discipline for this matter. I'm no expert, but have had positive effects from using it. I have an app called Tai Chi from appstore, where I'm currently following the "fundamental movements". I believe that patience is key here, getting to know your body, connect the different parts and learn to see where the constrictions is and use your body together with your breath to open them up.

[Shivani Devi]

I agree with Tobi and 7luminaries in that this is going to take time to heal.

Meanwhile, do things you find personally inspiring or have some deep significance for you.

Is there certain music you like that you feel uplifted by? What about art or nature? Do you have any pets you can hug? (when I feel down, I like going into the pet store and hugging all the puppies and kittens there). Do you like nature or gardening? going on long walks? seeing a beautiful sunrise or sunset? keeping a gratitude diary or a blessings jar and counting those good things?

Yesterday, I was feeling a bit down and a bit off while I was shopping so I picked up a free copy of my local newspaper. On the front cover was a lovely story - a poor old homeless woman who lived in a tent had lost her dog...her only companion and it had run off somewhere. It ended up being caught by a dog catcher and put in the pound, but the old homeless woman was very poor and couldn't afford to get the dog out of there...until a good samaritan stepped up to the mark and paid the pound to have the dog released and given back to the old lady.

When I read stories like that, my heart chakra opens quite violently.

All the best to you.

[Shivani Devi]

I just found that article online and read it again. My eyes are stinging with tears of love...enjoy:

http://www.advertiserlaketimes.com.a...u-lou/?cs=4811