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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Spiritual Development

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  #1  
Old 21-07-2014, 06:49 AM
somnium
Posts: n/a
 
Do you shrink yourself

I have been under the gun in this reality, dimension, in this forum and others lately(more so in others but here too). I enjoy sharing myself with others in an open and honest way. Long ago I left the world of man behind and entered into my own spiritual journey. I left because I found that science, and mankind was hurting me, confining me, and conditioning me to see the world the way they wanted me too. i was paranoid too at the time because I found immense power within myself that could do great things. I had found the secret. SO I isolated myself at first, practicing my new found abilities and honing them until I found other dimensions with beings like me and far beyond me. I learned so many things from them, and from following my own way. I learned to manifest reality. I experienced my every dream come true. I grew so very aware of so many things to the point i could understand anything i wanted right away.

After awhile I grew lonesome from my fellow man, and the family and friends I had left behind. And wanted to return to them and the old world to share with them my way and what i had discovered. When I reached home again I was in for a surprise indeed. I found right away that these people did not want me to be who I am, and wanted me to be who they were instead. All the experiences I had, the dreams that came true for me fell on deaf ears, and they called me names and insulted me, saying i was a liar, delusional, hallucinations, etc etc. My awareness was perceived as a threat to them, and when I tried to free them from forming the hells I saw them creating for themselves, they lashed out at me, assuming I was trying to be better then them and seeking for faults within them. I really was just seeing the energy that they were manifesting into the world and wanted to help them. But they did not want any help but wanted to know everything and uphold this image of themselves. Indeed I was a threat to their ego. And they locked me up in an insane asylum.

Now as the mental health evaluation came to be, i could see the future clearly and all the energies present within it, as well as how to realign the formation of reality to plan and cast the test myself. I had the doctor feed me the right answers through her consciousness into mine, and I could see within the physical formation of the paper that the test was written by my own awareness manifesting it, as I had cast and preplanned.. I planned the questions and the answers so that it asked me all that I knew already. See the reality around me knows everything about me and the world and knows exactly what to ask. I could see that the test was being created right now, as i live in this very moment, and I planned that i could just point at the answers without reading them and have my finger create the right answer. The doctor told me that she had never before seen anyone with such a high score.

Now i was released and kept my mouth shut, and now I find that I must shrink myself to fit into the human world if I want to stay there. I can not be myself or share who i am, what I can do or have done, with people because I am not allowed in this dimension to even have what they call magical thinking which they deem as an illness. I converted my magical thinking process into scientific explanations for people and for doctors. But alas my thinking surpasses the scientific level of awareness that is present in this dimension, and so it ends up in the same result as before. I must hide who I am, and shrink myself to a level that is acceptable here. Boredom, dullness, confinement, limitations, and bindings. Not to mention negativity.

I no longer feel like earth is my home at all, and do not feel very welcome in this reality. I have made some plans in this world but am unsure now if i want to carry them forward or to simply leave behind once and for all this world. Perhaps it is time to go. (by the way just sharing this here leaves me feeling like someone will attack me soon!!)
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  #2  
Old 21-07-2014, 07:14 AM
silent whisper
Posts: n/a
 
Your story is interesting and one that rings home in me about my own awakening and the nature of others and how they perceived me walking through that and the journey further down the track.


I had some lessons to learn in the face of them around finding that deep connected feeling in me that would not be shaken by the external reality. It wasn't easy. I struggled with others, knowing what they were engaging in, how they viewed reality, how they viewed mine, but I never gave up, always honouring myself regardless.

I learned through that aspect of the journey, that I could either begin to walk tall no matter what the world around me wanted or expected me to be, or I could shrink down and be miserable. I choose to walk tall and in time, my reality shifted slowly once more. I began to notice that I could live within the scope of the whole and be happy. My created reality is mine, I share it with many, some I know not to waste my time. Overall since that time of feeling the way I did, things have improved dramatically and people and life support me now in wonderful ways. My reality is accepted now, but when they *saw* me walking through the *unknown* unearthed for my journey it pushed them deeper into that space of thinking I was a crazy person...I just became all the more determined to keep holding my space.

I suppose I had to learn to reconnect to people and this earth in a new way. This helped me to find my place in a world and showed me that the more you face the resistance in others and let go, accept them where they are and get on with life, things turn out for the best.

Of course your feelings are you own and that is how you feel. No one can change your feelings only you.
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  #3  
Old 21-07-2014, 07:20 AM
silent whisper
Posts: n/a
 
Interesting you brought this up, the last two nights my dreams have been about walking spiritually tall...
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  #4  
Old 21-07-2014, 07:25 AM
silent whisper
Posts: n/a
 
Interesting you added the last bit after I responded. Feeling that you may be attacked by sharing.

Sometimes if you have been hit over and over, people failing to see and accept you for you, its easy to live in that space waiting for the worse.

Sometimes seeing the turnaround you get a glimpse of your reality shifting into a more accepting receiving space.
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  #5  
Old 21-07-2014, 07:35 AM
somnium
Posts: n/a
 
Thank you silent whisper.

I find myself unable to bend to others demands, like the view that the world is a round ball floating in space. Sure I can see it this way too, but then i can never leave and will just end up in the same place I started. It makes me think if i wanted to create a world where people couldn`t leave I would show them the earth and put them there. The perfect prison.

I am so sad knowing what I know of the world. All the negative manifestations they make and say is fact, like we have no choice to form for ourselves the reality around us. We must eat their poison just like everyone else. In the name of scientific fact. They kill us all. They herd us to our deaths, through pain and misery, and fear and control. All the while adeptly hooking our attention to the way they point out to us, that they say is absolute and factual. This is what reality is they say because we have proven it. The power of trust abused. Freedom and choice stolen from you without you ever knowing it existed in the first place.

For my fellow man I am weeping.

Do you know what is really out there... nothing at all. It`s all gone in the blink of an eye, and what is left is nothingness, just a canvas that is open and free to paint, a canvas that can be anything. Nothing and everything. (anything) choice.
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  #6  
Old 21-07-2014, 07:38 AM
somnium
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by silent whisper
Sometimes seeing the turnaround you get a glimpse of your reality shifting into a more accepting receiving space.

Thank you, you have helped in that way by accepting me.

I agree, when you project this outcome into reality before you then it forms to this way. When i first learned this i called it faith.
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  #7  
Old 21-07-2014, 07:53 AM
silent whisper
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by somnium
Thank you silent whisper.

I find myself unable to bend to others demands, like the view that the world is a round ball floating in space. Sure I can see it this way too, but then i can never leave and will just end up in the same place I started. It makes me think if i wanted to create a world where people couldn`t leave I would show them the earth and put them there. The perfect prison.



I am so sad knowing what I know of the world. All the negative manifestations they make and say is fact, like we have no choice to form for ourselves the reality around us. We must eat their poison just like everyone else. In the name of scientific fact. They kill us all. They herd us to our deaths, through pain and misery, and fear and control. All the while adeptly hooking our attention to the way they point out to us, that they say is absolute and factual. This is what reality is they say because we have proven it. The power of trust abused. Freedom and choice stolen from you without you ever knowing it existed in the first place.

For my fellow man I am weeping.

Do you know what is really out there... nothing at all. It`s all gone in the blink of an eye, and what is left is nothingness, just a canvas that is open and free to paint, a canvas that can be anything. Nothing and everything. (anything) choice.

I hear you.

Currently I am walking through my spiritually tall place, all the while very aware of my old space where by I shut down and let fear consume me. Reality is the same, I hear the same news, I feel the same feelings in people as I did back growing up. I listen and know how it can be, yet at times my hands are tied to what is. But I still feel it.

In this old and new view, I hold onto my own truth and faith in my own path, sometimes the nature of the external reality makes me wonder what is the point. Sometimes it is really hard to fathom what is going on in the world and how people are, yet it is what it is.

Sometimes I go to bed and cry at all this, release and let go of how it all feels and the knowing of how it can be, sometimes it gets all too much for me. But honouring the feeling often helps just to get grounded again. The next day I often get hit again and again and once more I let go of how it all feels..Some days I have wonderful joyful connections and lovely moments and they feel wonderful. In the nature of it all now, as I have let go of fear and also the realization that it is all in the mix of reality. I see how easy it is to only immerse in that which makes you miserable or that which you cant change. But it is all there and now I see and feel it all and do and live as I can.

I guess in that balance now I survive and have no need to hold onto fear to cope or suppress. That balance allows for me to be myself, ground and get on with it. That in itself has helped me to open to it all, find connections in it all and that balance supports me to walk spiritually tall regardless of what life dishes out..
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  #8  
Old 21-07-2014, 07:53 AM
Baile Baile is offline
Master
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 7,221
 
A negative, self-centred approach to life will garner what you refer to as being under the gun, a threat to others, etc. It sounds like you've made up your mind that life is a dull bore. Nevertheless I suggest you try relating to the world in a positive manner and see how that can change both your outlook and peoples' outlook towards you. Nurture a relationship with the world constructed on respect and love for life, rather than distain and dejection.
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  #9  
Old 21-07-2014, 07:56 AM
somnium
Posts: n/a
 
Sure it may be true that I do accept others, yet want to be accepted myself. But how do I accept others as they are when i see them hurting themselves, others, and the world around them without even knowing what they are doing!!
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  #10  
Old 21-07-2014, 07:56 AM
silent whisper
Posts: n/a
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by somnium
Thank you, you have helped in that way by accepting me.

I agree, when you project this outcome into reality before you then it forms to this way. When i first learned this i called it faith.

In your expression of feeling and truth of your story you learn you are never alone in that feeling and truth.
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