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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #1  
Old 16-03-2019, 04:35 PM
SierraNevadaStar SierraNevadaStar is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: I'm a homesick Californian from Lake Tahoe/Truckee, living in England.
Posts: 141
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Unhappy I'd Like Off this Ride, Please.

I want to make this as brief as I can. I have been trying to move on for the past year-and-a-half since my twin flame got married. I was already married and still am. My twin flame and I never had sexual relations (not on the physical level anyway - on the spiritual level, however, yes).

For a time, it was easier to move on because an awful family crisis enforced it so that I did/had to (i.e, more pressing, upsetting things to think about).

Last fall, however, my twin attempted to make contact with me multiple times in the course of a month. He stated that he 'missed me.' I have to say that I kept my distance until the first few weeks of this year - whereupon I communicated with him, but only a little. I then fell quiet again because there are certain elements in this 'situation' which have caused me much distress. It isn't - hasn't been - healthy for over a couple of years now.

Lately, there is this 'problem' where I am having frequent dreams, visions and other experiences in relation to this connection which seem beyond my control. The majority of these are causing me much upset, confusion and even sadness. They are making it harder for me to move on and to find some peace.

In more recent dreams, my twin flame and I have been arguing with much force and with either him rejecting me, or me rejecting him. We are 'picking on' one another a lot. In another, I could not bring myself to speak my feelings of love and attraction for him. In yet another, we were to have a 'renewal of vows' which I declined to do in the end. His reaction to this rejection of mine was in the way of, 'Meh, we're already married anyway.' A woman who was with me in the dream, said he probably felt that way because there would be 'no sex or honeymoon.' I recall feeling relieved that I'd spoken up and so did not have to go through with it, while still feeling open to future possibilities in whatever 'singlehood' I could have in denying this 'renewal of vows' - including that of reuniting with him someday.

Last night, via my clairaudience, I received the title, "River of No Return" which I deemed connected not to the film - but to the film's song of that same name. It has been years since I heard it and when I looked up the lyrics, it was a short but depressing read. This morning, I had a vision of he and his wife both facing outward while dancing far apart, but 'in sync' with another (my visions can be either symbolic, psychic or fear-based). A few times over the past week, I have heard 'alarm bells' going off with my psychic hearing.

I am quite sick and tired of this connection. Things were once quite beautiful and awe-inspiring. Now they are just draining, confusing, unsettling, toxic and depressing; it makes me sad the turn things have taken, but it's the way of things, I guess.

I'm not even sure what is true anymore. Everything which seems to have manifested seems to be the opposite of what I was told - knew - to be true. A few years ago he could not stand the woman he would later marry. A few years ago, we were so close. A few years ago, it felt like we might've well ended up together in this lifetime.

Now I don't even know where I'm at, he's at, we're at. But what I do know is that it feels like hell.
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  #2  
Old 16-03-2019, 09:31 PM
M.Tesla M.Tesla is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SierraNevadaStar
I want to make this as brief as I can. I have been trying to move on for the past year-and-a-half since my twin flame got married. I was already married and still am. My twin flame and I never had sexual relations (not on the physical level anyway - on the spiritual level, however, yes).

For a time, it was easier to move on because an awful family crisis enforced it so that I did/had to (i.e, more pressing, upsetting things to think about).

Last fall, however, my twin attempted to make contact with me multiple times in the course of a month. He stated that he 'missed me.' I have to say that I kept my distance until the first few weeks of this year - whereupon I communicated with him, but only a little. I then fell quiet again because there are certain elements in this 'situation' which have caused me much distress. It isn't - hasn't been - healthy for over a couple of years now.

Lately, there is this 'problem' where I am having frequent dreams, visions and other experiences in relation to this connection which seem beyond my control. The majority of these are causing me much upset, confusion and even sadness. They are making it harder for me to move on and to find some peace.

In more recent dreams, my twin flame and I have been arguing with much force and with either him rejecting me, or me rejecting him. We are 'picking on' one another a lot. In another, I could not bring myself to speak my feelings of love and attraction for him. In yet another, we were to have a 'renewal of vows' which I declined to do in the end. His reaction to this rejection of mine was in the way of, 'Meh, we're already married anyway.' A woman who was with me in the dream, said he probably felt that way because there would be 'no sex or honeymoon.' I recall feeling relieved that I'd spoken up and so did not have to go through with it, while still feeling open to future possibilities in whatever 'singlehood' I could have in denying this 'renewal of vows' - including that of reuniting with him someday.

Last night, via my clairaudience, I received the title, "River of No Return" which I deemed connected not to the film - but to the film's song of that same name. It has been years since I heard it and when I looked up the lyrics, it was a short but depressing read. This morning, I had a vision of he and his wife both facing outward while dancing far apart, but 'in sync' with another (my visions can be either symbolic, psychic or fear-based). A few times over the past week, I have heard 'alarm bells' going off with my psychic hearing.

I am quite sick and tired of this connection. Things were once quite beautiful and awe-inspiring. Now they are just draining, confusing, unsettling, toxic and depressing; it makes me sad the turn things have taken, but it's the way of things, I guess.

I'm not even sure what is true anymore. Everything which seems to have manifested seems to be the opposite of what I was told - knew - to be true. A few years ago he could not stand the woman he would later marry. A few years ago, we were so close. A few years ago, it felt like we might've well ended up together in this lifetime.

Now I don't even know where I'm at, he's at, we're at. But what I do know is that it feels like hell.
Me too. But sorta not wanting off. I'd miss her too much. The way I loved her too much. Even though it hurts too much..now.

I'd give anything to have her back and j just don't want to forget. I don't think I ever could anyway.

Sorry you are feeling like you're in hell. Find comfort in knowing the broken pieces are only there for you to put them together, and when you finally do, the puzzle will paint heaven.
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  #3  
Old 23-03-2019, 08:11 PM
SierraNevadaStar SierraNevadaStar is offline
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Location: I'm a homesick Californian from Lake Tahoe/Truckee, living in England.
Posts: 141
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"Sorry you are feeling like you're in hell. Find comfort in knowing the broken pieces are only there for you to put them together, and when you finally do, the puzzle will paint heaven."

Thanks for that closing line in particular, "M.Tesla." That was a stellar way of putting it - even if things are not so 'stellar' at present. I hope what you said to me is made true for you and your own twin flame in the end.

I am sorry you are suffering through your own pain. About forgetting - well, maybe you are not supposed to...

Two-and-a-half years ago, I was told by a guide that I 'must never forget' my own twin and that I am his 'teacher,' that he 'needs' my 'help' and, well, I'll spare you the rest. I truly want to forget at times. I do miss my twin and know I still love him. At this point, I feel I can only take so much. Today something of a clairaudient and I'm not sure what to make of it. I guess nothing, for now, until more time passes and I gain more clarity.

Thanks as well, for responding to my post; I quite appreciate it. I wish you well and with many bright blessings to come.
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  #4  
Old 23-03-2019, 08:44 PM
open2it open2it is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 104
 
Perhaps it is time to let the past be in the past, water long past under the bridge.
In my opinion perhaps you should look at Lot's wife that was told not to look back but she did. She turned into a pillar of salt. Salt is a preservative and as a pillar she could not move backward to relive what has past. She also being a pillar could not move forward either. She was stuck in her past and her past was gone.
I believe your dreams are telling you it is time to stop looking back preserving the past. I believe you are being shown the past has nothing for you any more. Knock down your pillar and move on with great expectations. You make it very hard if not impossible to move forward as long as your attention is on the past. Don't be a pillar preserving the past. I have read that twin flames can consume each other. Perhaps that is what has happened for you two.
That's my two cents. Notice I didn't spell it sense.
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It is easier to fool a man than it is to convince him he has been fooled. Albert Einstein.
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  #5  
Old 24-03-2019, 06:34 AM
Akira Akira is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,292
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SierraNevadaStar


I am quite sick and tired of this connection. Things were once quite beautiful and awe-inspiring. Now they are just draining, confusing, unsettling, toxic and depressing; it makes me sad the turn things have taken, but it's the way of things, I guess.

I'm not even sure what is true anymore. Everything which seems to have manifested seems to be the opposite of what I was told - knew - to be true. A few years ago he could not stand the woman he would later marry. A few years ago, we were so close. A few years ago, it felt like we might've well ended up together in this lifetime.

Now I don't even know where I'm at, he's at, we're at. But what I do know is that it feels like hell.

Hey there Sierra
Life is such a test and weirdly something you said here made me think about everything that has been happening in my life too. I am currently disconnecting from my karmic, and believe me, as much as I want to do this, the test of will inherent in what I have to do is rocking me a great deal.

I have relayed this story to you because you say:
Quote:
Originally Posted by SierraNevadaStar
I am quite sick and tired of this connection. Things were once quite beautiful and awe-inspiring. Now they are just draining, confusing, unsettling, toxic and depressing; it makes me sad the turn things have taken, but it's the way of things, I guess.

This is where I am too (of course things with my karmic were hell, not like I wanted to stay with him or anything, yet my feelings are similar to yours in general), I just want it to stop. To my mind and within what I have got to go through right now, the tiredness, the confusion, being unsettled - there is something that I am learning, despite wanting to run for the hills.

Maybe move into acceptance of the connection, acceptance of what it is that is happening for you. Currently I am writing everything down that upsets, phases me etc and I am letting it clear from me.

I think when we fall into these spaces where things go where they have gone, we are in a space of resistance without realising it and sometimes the resistance, the limbo, the space before everything is cleared can be really tough.

It is to keep thinking about what you want to feel. I would say decide on what you want to happen for you and make inroads to believing and feeling that. As for the dreams accept that your mind is so busy with these feelings that you are using night time to help yourself to clear what you no longer want in your life right now.

Trust, you will get there, you will be able to move round this and create an acceptance that helps you to move forward
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