Different way to love (A TF/SM)

Have you read all there is to know about Twin flames?

Have you read other people's experiences and view them as how a TF relationship should go?

Do you think a TF relationship is meant to be tough and stressful?

Have you found your TF and keep believing that it's them even though they are not reciprocating the same attachment?

Do you think about them daily and visualize how you will work things out. And how to fix them to see that you're meant to be?

Each soul has their own way of learning how to grow. But as far as manifesting what you "want" through intention, words and actions it almost seems counter productive.

So you've found them and know for sure beyond a shadow of doubt that this is your Twin flame/Soulmate. If this is the case no amount of manifestation, spells or wishing will keep them from crossing your path over and over again until you're both ready. If this is the case using Law of attraction cant hurt whats destined to be. But it can harm the experience you're "Expecting" to have. If deep down you have issues with dependency, have a "need" to be in a relationship or you don't feel complete alone. This is an area inside you that is needing attention. This is your higher self or subconscious trying to tell you "HEY!!! Pay attention to this closet you filled up years ago". When you get to the point where you don't have a "need" to be in a relationship LOA wont work against you. You wont work against you. "Needing" him or her stems from that need to be complete. The need to be complete by way of outside is a negative feeling coming from negative space inside. Which will always give you lessons to help you fix what you're trying to ignore. Manifesting a relationship may give you results. You may get back with them but your experiences with that person will do nothing but work against you until you fix yourself or realize what you want is not what you need.

This belief that a Twin Flame relationship has to be hard could be another culprit. By not subscribing to this thought process and belief then you don't attract a difficult experiences in the relationship. By proclaiming "twin flames relationships are not easy" You're creating it to be more difficult. Whats it going to hurt to believe that a TF relationship isn't hard? What if it isn't about another that can complete you and make all the things you "think" are wrong about you right. Maybe that one person exists because they know how to show you best that you're already complete even without them. Maybe you are meant to be, only to build each other up, not complete the other. Maybe you're the ultimate in compatibility. But you're allowing media and society to sell you a different more difficult reality. Feeding you the idea that a void needs filled by another. Directing you from an old school thought processes. A process that sells the idea that you "need" something outside of yourself to be happy. Whats the worst that can happen by believing the opposite? You get the same thing you're already experiencing? Or you do inner work and resolve the need for another to feel complete and have a successful relationship and you add to the group of people who think the opposite of what is being sold to us? The more people who believe that its not difficult the more that contribute to this becoming a reality in society. But right now the thousands of websites, forums and memes on social media are selling you this difficult relationship idea you're supposed to work hard at, almost force. Once you get to a certain point you realize anything that you have to force will push back. When time is taken and things are given space to bloom for the right reasons, then the experience always pans out in a miraculous way.

In the Buddhist mind. Being whole yourself and at peace within you will affect those around you in a similar way. If this is your truth then by not "needing" another you will affect your loved one, TF or not. By way of not being upset and angry at their choices. This non reaction is more influential then people give credit to. All I'm suggesting is to become whole. Find the love no one else can give you. When this is done you'll slowly realize there is no fault to be found in another. So when a TF is acting like a butt head you wont react like they are. you wont allow them to pull you into their drama. You'll have the power to pull them into your calm. By seeing the lesson they are trying to teach themselves. (Because you already learned from you own self lessons). You'll be better equipped to help them. Even if by non reaction. Therefore changing the whole dynamic of the relationship to something completely different. Possibly creating a new reality that Once one grows and heals them-self they'll have no need for another to complete them or "make" them happy. They will be more capable to see the parts that need healing in another. They will be more capable of a love that isn't currently being glamorized by media and society. One that only requires that you love yourself before another. Truly ask yourself and logically examine what could go wrong if you decide to temporarily let go of these fantasies and just focus on loving you fully to the point where you no longer allow anyone to affect that?

[Anne]

Badcopyinc ~ The above is truly good copy :-).
The text above punctuates a lot of my own recent thoughts. Thank you for sharing!

Many interesting points Badcopyinc with which I can agree especially about the contradictions and conflicts within and between different theories.

I've read a bit on the web, said enough to get me on a few ignore lists! There's a paucity of books on the subject in our UK "Mind body soul" bookshops. So I won't restate here except a general conclusion that it's a set of beliefs that seems to work for relationships where both believe the same thing. But that doesn't mean that "as people grow and evolve" (as twins) that they won't diverge. One might just outgrow the dogma or hit one of the contradictions and have to make a choice that sets them aside.

I don't believe at any level that "once twins, always twins" across eternity, nor that we're directed as twins or individuals by a divine plan. I doubt any Gnostic could believe that. Having shades of Shinto about my beliefs (again, that's all they are, personal beliefs) a divine plan would embrace any and everything, as everything has "kami" (spirit divinity) about it somewhere.

I tend to start with a more simplistic view though, seeing the mating game as a natural drive that’s been corrupted by “civilised society”. Girl needs boy; boy needs girl which has been clouded with taboos, strictures, inhibitions and courting rituals brought to us mostly by religions and resulting in emotional stresses, anxieties, mental aberrations, even crime to alleviate the underlying urges.

I see beliefs like twin flames as part of the fallout. New Age spirituality has notoriously neglected physical intimacy and ecstasy conveniently coming up with a spiritual plane on which people can materially live in comfort. It could be because it follows social conditioning that takes its lead from the old religions - it could also be because its target market may include a few people who are suffering the very anguish caused by lack of physical fulfilment. One doesn’t want to bring that to their forefront.

So it wraps mating up under the umbrella of etheric or spiritual “love” conveniently overlooking the explosion of sex and romance that eventually dies out (unless the people are very lucky!) claiming that “love” survives that even when there’s nothing to bond a couple in real life, exploration over. Thus it tries to lull them into a belief that the "universe" will ensure it never ends and without one‘s twin one is left with half a soul. It needs both to accept a set of Terms and Conditions that to me are somewhat oppressive.

It doesn't have to involve sex and physical ecstasy of course and here I can accept an ongoing affinity between two people (something that seems closer to soul mates). There's nothing wrong or false about “spiritual love” nor that it can emanate physical love, but the claim that it's under supervision of an unknown (the universe) in which people have no say, and WILL last forever is a stretch of belief too far for me.


Nice discussion, though. Thank you for outlaying your thoughts.

♥

This whole post was the perspective i was looking for prior to posting. I had a feeling yesterday....

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I've read a bit on the web, said enough to get me on a few ignore lists! There's a paucity of books on the subject in our UK "Mind body soul" bookshops. So I won't restate here except a general conclusion that it's a set of beliefs that seems to work for relationships where both believe the same thing. But that doesn't mean that "as people grow and evolve" (as twins) that they won't diverge. One might just outgrow the dogma or hit one of the contradictions and have to make a choice that sets them aside.

Completely agree both should continue to grow and hold no expectation. enjoy what is while it is.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I don't believe at any level that "once twins, always twins" across eternity, nor that we're directed as twins or individuals by a divine plan. I doubt any Gnostic could believe that. Having shades of Shinto about my beliefs (again, that's all they are, personal beliefs) a divine plan would embrace any and everything, as everything has "kami" (spirit divinity) about it somewhere.

I mentioned destiny because the dogma is just that. I feel by believing that your holding expectation. and what if you miss who your "destined" to be with because you were assuming you were destined to be with another?
I could see it as a choice over one or a couple of lifetimes but not sure about eternity.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I see beliefs like twin flames as part of the fallout. New Age spirituality has notoriously neglected physical intimacy and ecstasy conveniently coming up with a spiritual plane on which people can materially live in comfort. It could be because it follows social conditioning that takes its lead from the old religions - it could also be because its target market may include a few people who are suffering the very anguish caused by lack of physical fulfilment. One doesn’t want to bring that to their forefront.

agree again. Things i was not thinking about. the religion social conditiong! yes!!

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

So it wraps mating up under the umbrella of etheric or spiritual “love” conveniently overlooking the explosion of sex and romance that eventually dies out (unless the people are very lucky!) claiming that “love” survives that even when there’s nothing to bond a couple in real life, exploration over. Thus it tries to lull them into a belief that the "universe" will ensure it never ends and without one‘s twin one is left with half a soul. It needs both to accept a set of Terms and Conditions that to me are somewhat oppressive.

It doesn't have to involve sex and physical ecstasy of course and here I can accept an ongoing affinity between two people (something that seems closer to soul mates). There's nothing wrong or false about “spiritual love” nor that it can emanate physical love, but the claim that it's under supervision of an unknown (the universe) in which people have no say, and WILL last forever is a stretch of belief too far for me.

Kind of what i was trying to convey with my overthought post. Let go of whats being fed to you by society and love you first. Then you have a better perspective to move forward in any relationship. Dropping expectation allows you to love another fully and know when its time to go as well. Its expectation and society that pushes one to stay when they're being damaged by the perspective of how it should be.

I also left out my thoughts of image that comes along with relationships. How i see others choosing their partner to feed their image of greatness to others. wanting to post how great their mate looks, how cute they look together to others. how their TF's and made to be. but like you pointed out what happens when the bragging phase dies down. just like sex lust phase you're left with someone who you may not be compatible with.

Thank for your view.
definitely appreciated.
a lot i wasn't thinking about in there!

Originally Posted by Anne

Badcopyinc ~ The above is truly good copy :-).
The text above punctuates a lot of my own recent thoughts. Thank you for sharing!

You're welcome

thank you for your kind words

Thanks for your response. An aspect of self/spiritual development for me was climbing aloof from social conditioning including all those things like consumerism – aloof not meant to sound snobby so how about a popular cliché – climbing out of the box or something. Hence taking an overview and how it fits in all around; this theosophical angle, the twin flame against shifting social orientations.

What gave rise to my “simplified view” of the mating game was long ago reading The Song of Songs. I read it the other day as an Observance.

It’s a supremely beautiful love poem to me and touches on unity and working toward it simply on the basis of what we are without expectation. It has to be interpreted a little. When the male talks of his lover being “my sister, my spouse,” of course he doesn’t literally mean a sibling sister but a sister in spirit and feeling. That becomes obvious as the text proceeds. It’s also important to find a recent translation that tells the reader who’s saying what - just makes it easier.

A Roman Catholic Bible should be avoided - the last one I looked at prefaced each chapter with stuff about the relationships between various entities of the Holy Trinity which is erroneous.

I’d recommend it to anyone looking for a pure expression of love. It's a small 8 chapter book just before Isiah in the Bible. How on earth it got there is anyone's guess.

♥