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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #1  
Old 04-01-2018, 02:24 PM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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The love of your life

I'm wondering if most / everybody consider their TF to be the love of their life.
I was just thinking, we tend to say that so easily, "He/she is the love of my life!" but also "I lost the love of my life."
First I suppose is okay, but the second... If you take into account that everything is energy based, you send out the message that you lost the love of your life. Meaning another love cannot come.
Yet in our sorrow we seem to feel it is romantic to say "He/she was the love of my life (and I lost him/her)!"
In a way don't you victimize yourself with this? Almost a plea for others to feel sorry for you for such a great loss?
And again you send that vibe into the Cosmos and that will be your point of attraction for everything, not just love/partners...

Part of me likes to consider my TF as the love of my life, but at the same time I know that to be **.
First of, had he been the love of my life, we'd still be together.
Second, each love/partner/relationship has their own merits. I've learnt quite early on after my first long term relationship that there are many tiers of love.
Some partners you seem to love deeper than others. That doesn't make the love you felt for these 'others' any less real nor any less valuable. Nor does it render someone else "The love of your life."

I believe we have more "loves of our life." Each partner you have / have had was the right one for you at that time.

Now I don't want to argue about anything, that wasn't the intent of this. All I want to point out is, I think it's just semantics. And that by stating or feeling "I lost the love of my life!" you do your future love life harm.

I'd like to know how you people see this? Do you feel your TF is/was the love of your life? Do you feel that -if you 'lost' them- you do your future love-life harm by holding on to that?
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  #2  
Old 04-01-2018, 03:16 PM
Goddessa Goddessa is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 297
 
I consider my TF to be the catalyst to my awakening. I don't feel like I have "lost" him at all because I still do "sense" him but like you said, if it was meant to be that way, we would still be together.

I am not pining for him - I did in the early stages of our separation but that kind of thing really brings you nothing but pain and who wants to dwell on pain and nurture it and hang on and hold on to it? Especially at one's detriment?? That was the turning point for me. I cannot make this person do what I want him to do, behave how I want him to behave, so I have to move on. In any case it is not fair to try to compel someone else to be with you if they don't want to, right? He is also on his own journey and that what he has chosen.

Better to move on and heal yourself and be open to your next love adventure when you are ready.
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  #3  
Old 04-01-2018, 03:26 PM
ssdm1 ssdm1 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 590
 
Good question!

Yes he is the love of my life, but he is not the relationship of my life. I do not feel like I "lost" the love of my life because I still feel that love for him and he is still in my life. It's the romantic relationship that was lost, and that was his choice. When I was in another relationship with another man, I did love that man, but I also knew the love I felt was different from that of my twin (and I did not know of twin flames at that time).

Yes we can go on to other relationships with those who may actually treat us better, but somehow the love is just different.
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  #4  
Old 04-01-2018, 04:29 PM
Sam.I.Am Sam.I.Am is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 42
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FairyCrystal
I'm wondering if most / everybody consider their TF to be the love of their life.
I was just thinking, we tend to say that so easily, "He/she is the love of my life!" but also "I lost the love of my life."
First I suppose is okay, but the second... If you take into account that everything is energy based, you send out the message that you lost the love of your life. Meaning another love cannot come.
Yet in our sorrow we seem to feel it is romantic to say "He/she was the love of my life (and I lost him/her)!"
In a way don't you victimize yourself with this? Almost a plea for others to feel sorry for you for such a great loss?
And again you send that vibe into the Cosmos and that will be your point of attraction for everything, not just love/partners...

Part of me likes to consider my TF as the love of my life, but at the same time I know that to be **.
First of, had he been the love of my life, we'd still be together.
Second, each love/partner/relationship has their own merits. I've learnt quite early on after my first long term relationship that there are many tiers of love.
Some partners you seem to love deeper than others. That doesn't make the love you felt for these 'others' any less real nor any less valuable. Nor does it render someone else "The love of your life."

I believe we have more "loves of our life." Each partner you have / have had was the right one for you at that time.

Now I don't want to argue about anything, that wasn't the intent of this. All I want to point out is, I think it's just semantics. And that by stating or feeling "I lost the love of my life!" you do your future love life harm.

I'd like to know how you people see this? Do you feel your TF is/was the love of your life? Do you feel that -if you 'lost' them- you do your future love-life harm by holding on to that?

Is it just me or is the term "love of your life," one that doesn't quite sit well? I mean, it sounds nice in theory, but I really find it to be an over-dramatic, forced, "Disney" phrase that people are quick to tack onto anyone and anything. If you ask me, I find it to evoke codependency as well.

As you stated, we can have many loves in this lifetime. Some are only temporary, and some are long-term. Love is a fleeting emotion that is almost never stagnant. We might always love a particular person, but the feeling of that love is never consistent from one moment to the next. What makes one person more of a "love" than another? Energy connections and how intense they can feel, in that regard, are tricky. Hence, why people tend to label their SM's or TF's as "the ultimate love."

I know for me, the love I feel for my SM is stronger than any other love that I have ever experienced--both that I give out and that he reciprocates. Is there something there that's more powerful than words can describe? Of course. Would I call him "the love of my life" because of that? Probably not. Does that in any way, shape, or form, decrease the validity of our love and affect how I feel for him? Definitely not.

To elaborate on why I said "no" about him being the "love of my life," I just feel like that statement is so limiting. I think it does have a "romantic tone" to it that isn't always necessarily the purpose of a SC. I'm still trying to decipher if that's what the Universe has in store for my connection.

Would I love for him to be "the one?" Of course! And, I strongly feel like he very well could be! However, I know that I'm not on the right energy vibration right now to make that call. I still have a lot of healing work to do, as does he, and that in and of itself, will change the energy vibration as we move forward. Exactly how, only the Universe knows.

I just feel like love is a skill, just like any other emotion. The problem is, we forget that because we tack labels onto love and make it into this "fairy-tale," "airy-fairy" nonsense. Labeling someone as "the love of our life" puts unnecessary pressure onto the relationship. We are forcing ourself into an extreme. Our goal with all of our emotions should be to find center-ground. For example, we should never aim to be happy all the time and never be sad. Rather, our goal should be to be as balanced as possible within ourselves so that when the extremes of emotions do arise, we are better able to cope.

Shouldn't we ourselves be the "love of our lives"--if you want to use that phrase?
Shouldn't we work to try to emote love and light to all those who we encounter, regardless of what relationship with have with them? I mean, isn't that the real purpose of a SM and/or TF connection? To love yourself fully enough to love others in the hope that he/she will spread their light?

Just my humble, mish-mosh rambling
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  #5  
Old 04-01-2018, 05:38 PM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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Location: England
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Haven't read all the replies, but I agree with the OP - I believe there to be different levels of love.

For me, it all depends on your level of consciousness at that particular time. For example, my first long term relationship was the person I married and was with for 10 years. We were young when we met and during the relationship I started to wake up and realise the relationship had served its purpose and it was time to move on.

Since then I've had two other loves, but a few relationships. All the relationships have absolutely served a purpose, and each one was perfect at that time looking back at them now.

Through each one ending, I have woke up more and evolved. My previous relationship was the catalyst for my awakening to really kick off, and it has been a continual growth phase ever since (16 months).

To this day I am being tested by my ex wife and ex partner on a huge scale (cannot go into it on here for legal reasons), as they are suffering, but despite how challenging it is, I am thankful for the lessons and know the growth I am getting out of this time is more than most would in a lifetime.

I think if you aren't meant to be with the 'love of your life', or who you think is the love of your life - then it is another person (soul family perhaps) who is hear to teach you.

I know my latest ex partner is here to teach me so many lessons and face my emotional trauma I have left unhealed. She is my mirror.
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  #6  
Old 04-01-2018, 08:52 PM
happyhaunts03 happyhaunts03 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 134
 
I don't believe in a love of your life. I think everyone is here for a purpose and those close loves are the ones that transform you as a person in some way. It doesn't have to be romantic love either. There are so many kinds of love. But, I do think that some of those people, the ones many refer to as a "love of your life" tend to be the most intense and transformative ones.

In terms of "love of your life" type people though, I'm not sure that I buy that it doesn't work because they aren't meant for you to be with. I think sometimes, there are external circumstances that are out of anyone's control including fate's. And sometimes, we may lose one path because we've followed another. There are many paths for us to take in this lifetime and sometimes we don't choose a certain one or we can't take a certain one because of 3d realities like money problems, jobs, living situations, etc., but it doesn't make that love any less special. I don't know. There's a lot that I would love to say on this topic, but I'm having trouble finding the words right now. I'll come back to this later if my thoughts come to me in a way I can actually verbalize.
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  #7  
Old 04-01-2018, 11:31 PM
lunapixie lunapixie is offline
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Location: United States
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He isnít the love of my life. Heís the love of all my lives! But having said that, I know that he and I have done it all throughout our lives together. Weíve cheated on each other, harmed each other in many ways, killed one another, saved one anotherís life.

How could I have ďlostĒ someone who keeps showing up over and over again? Is he really gone when I cannot go one day without thinking about him no matter what I try to do to get him out of my head?

Romance isnít the goal here. Not with the TFs, not with anyone else. But humans have a tendency to want to live life in a very transactional way. If I do this, Iíll grt that. If I donít do that, this will not happen. Very manipulative way of living.
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  #8  
Old 05-01-2018, 12:00 AM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lunapixie
He isnít the love of my life. Heís the love of all my lives! But having said that, I know that he and I have done it all throughout our lives together. Weíve cheated on each other, harmed each other in many ways, killed one another, saved one anotherís life.

How could I have ďlostĒ someone who keeps showing up over and over again? Is he really gone when I cannot go one day without thinking about him no matter what I try to do to get him out of my head?

Romance isnít the goal here. Not with the TFs, not with anyone else. But humans have a tendency to want to live life in a very transactional way. If I do this, Iíll grt that. If I donít do that, this will not happen. Very manipulative way of living.
So you feel you and your TF have lived many lives together?
I've wondered about that because they say mostly TFs have had very few past lives together, if any at all. For quite obvious reasons you have to be ready for such a high connection to come together in the physical realms and it is only in this time that ppl really are getting to that stage.

I'm not sure about me and my TF. I do know about 1 past life, and I think there is one more where I lost him. Both were lives of intense love for one another. Other than that I 'feel' no more past lives really.
I did with the one who came before my TF, the one who prepped me for him so to speak. We had quite a lot of lives together, but thank goodness he isn't my TF. He's one I hope to never ever come across in another life, and that feeling is so strong -without anger or hate btw- that I also sent that message out to my Soul group or family. I want all ties with him cut for upcoming lives.

But to say you harmed and killed your TF? I wonder if that is even possible. That would basically be killing/harming yourself.
Not saying you're wrong, I'm not the one to judge and we all have our own truth. Just that to me it sounds/feels off.
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  #9  
Old 05-01-2018, 02:10 AM
white pegasus white pegasus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 212
 
Im uncertain if I consider my TF the love of my life-but I do believe for me-I loved her more deeply than others. Heres the interesting thing to all of this in my journey and I have not been able to truly understand the events. After my TF broke up with me(abruptly and unexpectedly) another person entered my life. heres the strange thing-she came into my life and it was like she just knew me on a very deep level? more importantly-she abruptly left my life but what I know to be true is that I never loved anyone in the spiritual way that I loved her? my TF I loved in everyway(emotional, mental, physical, etc) this other person-it was a deep spiritual love that I have never felt before or since.

It has been 7 years since the 2 of them departed my life-and its been a long journey-and I have no understanding what any of it was about reallyu
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  #10  
Old 05-01-2018, 03:30 AM
Inika Inika is offline
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Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 1,930
 
No. My life is not over.

The best is yet to come.

everyone is the love of my life. Maybe only a handful will be fated to experience lessons with.
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