Demonic Feeling

[JustSomeGuy]

First off, I would like to mention that I am not spiritual, not the slightest bit religious and I would like to think of myself as a rational person.

I came to this site because I think the spiritual community might have an answer or a similar experience to mine.

To the point:
At times I experience a feeling or an emotion which I can only classify as demonic.
A mix between rage and grand satisfaction, a lot of both, it makes me feel alive, in fact in its presence is the only time I feel truly alive.
Fear and insecurities disappear and I feel like I could do anything, I feel powerful yet I am the same, cruelty empowers me, especially cruel people, I want to break them and their will, though I have never done so, just thinking about it is an euphoria.
It is the single greatest emotion I have ever felt, in its absence everything is dull and tasteless, even music doesn't sound the same.

Has anyone else had a similar experience, rage, satisfaction, cruelty, a feeling that is truly better than sex, feeling as a hunter amongst sheep, and if there are others, is it possible to make it more permanent, without it I just feel empty...

[Serrao]

I would like to advise you to practice metta; loving kindness.

Positivity is constructive; negativity is destructive.

[vortex]

In the extremes of emotions the mind stops
You are probably feeling it in control, fear
You can fell the same in acceptance, love
Best of luck hope your life works out for you

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by JustSomeGuy

First off, I would like to mention that I am not spiritual, not the slightest bit religious and I would like to think of myself as a rational person.

I came to this site because I think the spiritual community might have an answer or a similar experience to mine.

To the point:
At times I experience a feeling or an emotion which I can only classify as demonic.
A mix between rage and grand satisfaction, a lot of both, it makes me feel alive, in fact in its presence is the only time I feel truly alive.
Fear and insecurities disappear and I feel like I could do anything, I feel powerful yet I am the same, cruelty empowers me, especially cruel people, I want to break them and their will, though I have never done so, just thinking about it is an euphoria.
It is the single greatest emotion I have ever felt, in its absence everything is dull and tasteless, even music doesn't sound the same.

Has anyone else had a similar experience, rage, satisfaction, cruelty, a feeling that is truly better than sex, feeling as a hunter amongst sheep, and if there are others, is it possible to make it more permanent, without it I just feel empty...

Oh those heady days when I would get absorbed and lost in my own megalomaniacal tendencies.

We're like those people who put banana skins on a footpath then go hide behind a telegraph pole or put static cling wrap over a toilet bowl. I just enjoyed playing cruel jokes on people - still do to some extent. LOL

Making others miserable to get our kicks feels wonderful! you know why? because we're miserable ourselves and want the whole world to suffer because of it. We want to drag everybody down to below our own level to make us feel grand about being at the top of 'Mt. Rubbish'.

You know you've got problems when you talk to actual demons, become witness to all the nasty tricks they pull on people, get let in on all their little 'secrets' and then just sit back and laugh as they pull all their tricky nonsense on gullible, innocent people who fully deserve to be led up the garden path for summoning demons and being so stupid in the first place. It's hilarious!!!

It's kind of like an internet troll pulling jokes on people due to anonymity. The only one who thinks it's funny is the internet troll because nobody is being let in on his little 'private joke', so nobody can share his sense of humour - he only does it to hide his own insecurities anyway.

Yes, cruelty feels pretty amazing and euphoric! Just don't complain when karma comes back to bite you on the bum because of it.

If you're going to be like this, you must go all the way there, so when the universe is cruel to you...when bad things happen....when things don't go your way, you can give up a hearty laugh and go 'so be it'.

Then you've fully mastered this.