I do not understand

[Sarah007]

I hope I write this in the right topic, but I do want to share this also, maybe there are also other people here who have the same problem.
For as long as I can remember, I am feeling like there is a sadness, something to grief, something missing.
Do not understand me wrong, I like a good laugh, I am friendly (sometimes too friendly and then they take advantage of me). But there is always that cloud, but why, for who or from what. I have asked myself already, is something happened in a past life, that I carry with me now. There has always been lonelyness too in my life. I think I have to learn something important in this life, but sometime I wished that I knew more so that it became easier to learn what there is to learn.

[Shinsoo]

Sometimes past life experiences can carry over. I had a painful one in my sacral chakra that involved me being shunned by everyone in my family, including my own son. I'm still not sure why but I think child abuse was involved. :(

Took me a while to feel connected with family again--even now it's hard to be near children because of it---perhaps you can seek out a psychic or even a healer that might shed some light on whatever issue you might have that's aggravating the loneliness.

Just a thought.

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by Sarah007

I hope I write this in the right topic, but I do want to share this also, maybe there are also other people here who have the same problem.
For as long as I can remember, I am feeling like there is a sadness, something to grief, something missing.
Do not understand me wrong, I like a good laugh, I am friendly (sometimes too friendly and then they take advantage of me). But there is always that cloud, but why, for who or from what. I have asked myself already, is something happened in a past life, that I carry with me now. There has always been lonelyness too in my life. I think I have to learn something important in this life, but sometime I wished that I knew more so that it became easier to learn what there is to learn.

Hi Sarah... I don't know if this will ring true or not, but reading your post the thought that came to mind was the notion of a need to consciously reconnect with your Soul nature/identity... This may account for the lingering feeling of 'something missing' and also the sense of grieving (as if you 'lost' your 'true self', due to presently experiencing being consciously disconnected from that state of being)... If this rings true - how to address this state/condition? Continued inner-work (introspection, self-reflection, deep contemplation)... This will fuel an drive the process of self-discovery - until you reach the point where you've found what you're looking for. : )

[jimrich]

Originally Posted by Sarah007

I hope I write this in the right topic, but I do want to share this also, maybe there are also other people here who have the same problem.
For as long as I can remember, I am feeling like there is a sadness, something to grief, something missing.
Do not understand me wrong, I like a good laugh, I am friendly (sometimes too friendly and then they take advantage of me). But there is always that cloud, but why, for who or from what. I have asked myself already, is something happened in a past life, that I carry with me now. There has always been lonelyness too in my life. I think I have to learn something important in this life, but sometime I wished that I knew more so that it became easier to learn what there is to learn.

Hello: I pretty much felt like you for most of my life and then, at about 48, I crashed and had to go for help which led me to some 12 step support groups where I discovered that I was unwittingly carrying a huge array of very painful and angry buried feelings from a rotten childhood with very inadequate parents. One might think that such rotten feelings could not possibly stay so well hidden away inside of a person for that many years but that is what I finally discovered after a little HONEST examination of my childhood past. I even had an idea that my bad emotional states were due to past life stuff after hearing about past life regressions but it turned out that most of my unhappiness and discomfort came from the early days of my life due to very bad parenting. It's absolutely amazing how many folks carry around disturbing, painful yet completely forgotten feelings from early childhood and never have a need to face and resolve those feelings UNTIL something triggers their bottled up, repressed feelings to the surface, which is what happened to me.
I always thought that I was a fun loving, happy, easy going and friendly guy but there was something wrong under the surface which could be triggered by certain events. After I discovered my buried, unhappy and very angry feelings, it all began to make sense and I could see why I was often so down, depressed and lonely thanks to an ocean of unhealed and unresolved feelings about and towards my parents. Once those bottled up, suppressed feelings came to the surface and were vented or released, much of my unhappiness and RAGE began to subside. It took a while to face and release as much of those damaged feelings as possible but I sure feel a lot better and happier now that I no longer have to go on carrying all those damaged feelings around inside of me.
Much of what you wrote reminds me of my situation while I was living in Denial of what my real feelings were and it finally took seriously crashing with booze, anger and desperation to make me go look for help which I found through AA. I was a drunk but more to the point I was the Post Traumatic Stress victim of a very bad childhood and met a lot other similarly damaged folks at 12 step meetings. Once I could see how all of us had been damaged and the veil of Denial was lifted, it became quite clear what I had to do to heal from bad parenting in my case.
This may or may not be the case with you so, good luck finding out what is eating you and obtaining a solution to the problem.
Jim

[knightofalbion]

Maybe there is a more pragmatic explanation. Perhaps finding a Service project would add a sense of purpose and fulfilment to your life?
No matter how privileged one is in material terms, if the spirit is not engaged always there is a restlessness, as you say, 'something missing' from one's life.
Also, maybe it is a longing for a soul mate? Someone on your spiritual wavelength, a pure love ...

[Michelle11]

Like you I walked around with a sense of sadness and a sort of dead spot for most of my life that I could not quite put my finger on. I was generally happy, could smile and have fun but something was haunting me that I rather feared. I also had a similar experience as jimrich. I had a father who was critical of everything I did good and bad and as such I never developed confidence or a good sense of self as well neither parent helped me to develop good coping skills. I do believe that partly this has to do with unresolved past life issues being carried over. I do believe that we progress one life to the next taking care of unfinished business but I clearly see that my upbringing set the stage for my difficulty dealing with emotions. I managed well enough stuffing the feelings and thoughts until a life crisis caused me to crash and I had to look at my thoughts and feelings about myself. I was quite shocked and confused by what I discovered but I was also not at all surprised. The signs and clues were all there. So I would say that though it is possible some of this is past life unfinished business it is affecting your current life experience now so maybe see if you can look into meditation and mindfulness practices to spend time in self reflection to uncover the hurt and beliefs that are holding you back. I also found journaling to be a big help. Like jimrich said, it takes time to work through it but it is definitely worth it. Take care.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Sarah007, i learned recently that there is an "emotional body"
that is a part of a humans makeup. i don't know much at all about it,
but i suspect it's fundamentally more important to a persons sense of
well being than their physical or mental bodies.
i've come to an understanding that emotions need to move and be
expressed... much in opposition to the common wisdom which seems to
emphasize the importance of "controlling" emotions.
movement allows the emotions to transmit the messages that they're holding
and release their energy. pent up or stilted emotions lead to stress and illness.
i don't know the topography of the emotional body, but from reading your
post i get a sense that you may have an area of that body which gets cramped up somehow.
if that were true, you might be able to get it uncramped with a little practice.
set out some time (just a few minutes should do), sit comfortably, sway
slightly (to encourage the movement), access unconditional love energy
from your heart center, and direct it toward your emotionally cramped spots.
visualize the dark/unmoving/stiff joints being bathed in loving energy.
just an idea.

[SpiritualMe]

Well Met

Sarah; I will tell you intuitively - there is nothing wrong on the personal level of your own individual life - its not tied directly to you individually - and neither is it an issue where you have "disconnected" or lost touch with some part of Self - my intuition here says complete opposite actually

The problem is I believe - that you have as they say - woken up - or are beginning to stir and rouse the true Self. With this new Self awareness you are begininng to witness the world in all its naked truth - and yes - sorry it is this way - but indeed there is plenty here to mourn over, there will be plenty of sadness and it will feel exactly like there is a huge essential thing missing from this life. I would like to share here, two things from my mate Christ - as always He says it best - from Thomas :

Whoever has come to know the world has discovered a carcass, and whoever has discovered a carcass, of that person the world is not worthy."

We wake up to this new truth of Self, and the world becomes a dead and rotting thing in our mind - no wonder then, there is sadness and a sense of loss and tangeable grief. But please - take heart - have courage it gets much MUCH better. As He says :

"Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will reign over all. [And after they have reigned they will rest.]"

Would you trust or believe me - if I said I shared the same steps on my journey and found the same problems - but push through and now - I have a peace and joy within - that is like nothing I could have imagined - Iam bulletproof in this world - so safe and secure now this world cannot affect me or bring me down low again. This "thing" that you realise is lacking ? - is on its way to you even now trust in your Self and have a little courage..

[jimrich]

Originally Posted by Sarah007
I hope I write this in the right topic, but I do want to share this also, maybe there are also other people here who have the same problem.
For as long as I can remember, I am feeling like there is a sadness, something to grief, something missing.
Do not understand me wrong, I like a good laugh, I am friendly (sometimes too friendly and then they take advantage of me). But there is always that cloud, but why, for who or from what. I have asked myself already, is something happened in a past life, that I carry with me now. There has always been lonelyness too in my life. I think I have to learn something important in this life, but sometime I wished that I knew more so that it became easier to learn what there is to learn.

Sarah, the other thing that I want to mention is, if it turns out that you have repressed, bottled up, hidden bad and angry feelings inside of you that are connected to folks who may have hurt you in the past, it is extremely important to direct your feelings towards those who actually hurt you and NOT towards innocent bystanders like: a spouse, friend, boss, co-worker, pet, furniture, strangers, the government, etc. The damaged and hurt feelings must be released in the direction of those who are guilty of hurting you and not onto anyone or anything that did not hurt you before. It's called the Correct Target. Most hurt and angry folks, take their painful feelings out on the WRONG targets so there is never any resolution or justice for the victim of past abuse. I hope you can see what I am saying here and, if and when you ever do any therapy, please send your unhappy feelings to the correct target - even if you are terribly afraid of or completely loyal to those (parents) who may have hurt you long ago. Once you begin releasing the bottled up anger and sorrow that belongs to the ones who hurt you, you may feel a sense of relief and JUSTICE regarding what happened to you back then and this will open up new and thrilling energy for the balance of your life.
Good luck,
jim

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Originally Posted by jimrich

Sarah, the other thing that I want to mention is, if it turns out that you have repressed, bottled up, hidden bad and angry feelings inside of you that are connected to folks who may have hurt you in the past, it is extremely important to direct your feelings towards those who actually hurt you and NOT towards innocent bystanders like: a spouse, friend, boss, co-worker, pet, furniture, strangers, the government, etc. The damaged and hurt feelings must be released in the direction of those who are guilty of hurting you and not onto anyone or anything that did not hurt you before. It's called the Correct Target. Most hurt and angry folks, take their painful feelings out on the WRONG targets so there is never any resolution or justice for the victim of past abuse. I hope you can see what I am saying here and, if and when you ever do any therapy, please send your unhappy feelings to the correct target - even if you are terribly afraid of or completely loyal to those (parents) who may have hurt you long ago. Once you begin releasing the bottled up anger and sorrow that belongs to the ones who hurt you, you may feel a sense of relief and JUSTICE regarding what happened to you back then and this will open up new and thrilling energy for the balance of your life.
Good luck,
jim

internalizing bad feelings and accepting them as part of our makeup
will lead us to lash out at undeserving targets and "innocent bystanders".
identifying the true origination of those bad feelings is better.
there is better still i believe.
empowerment of self is what i'm driving at.
choose what emotionally charged thoughts you wish to direct.
to receive love, give love.
to receive love only, give love only.
it is possible to transform ugly feelings within into harmless or beneficial energies.
with the knowledge that people are always doing the best they can,
to the best degree they are capable of, with the tools they have available,
the notion of directing hurtful energies towards them is untenable.
forgiveness is the tool for transforming negative energies.
forgiveness is an internal processing.
once the energy is transmuted, then it can be directed outwardly; radiated.
if a person is new to transmuting energy -- give it to God.
what we are is self determined; no amount of negative energy can wrest
that responsibility from us.
radiate that which you are.
if you choose lovingness, give love.

i think this approach goes a bit further than yours jimrich.
it doesn't feel possible to find a comfortable middleroad, compromise approach for me.
i sorta sense that all humans are essentially pure love.
to be authentic then, we'll wanna only ever express our true self.
it is, of course, a choice.
we can choose to be non-100% loving, but that feels "lesser" to me.