Um, are there are professional readers here who take 'sensual' question topics?

[tealily]

Had a client ask a question about "how they can enjoy sex more with their partner" today - I don't really do this sort of question (not to mention really don't have the right decks for it), just wondering if there is anyone here that I can forward them to?

Hit me up with a pm if this is your area :)

[angelic star]

@ tealily Earlier on in my practice I got that question and I tried judgement not to show, as I wasn't too comfortable with those questions.
But now I feel more tolerant, non judgmental and easy with different questions. So many people ask about love/ relationships/ its major.
People are different, people need help with a lot of different things. We read so we can help others and sometimes what to us might seem uneasy can also be potential for growth for ourselves, because sometimes during readings we also find reflection of ourselves . Answering questions on intimacy can provide growth for the reader themselves, and it does not really have to be about sex, it can very well be something entirely different than that.
If this point of view does not help, well in the end it's just a question . It does not affect out lives what other people do. If they want an answer they might as well get it.

[tealily]

In personal practice, I'm happy to try most questions and agree being challenged is part of growing as a reader. Professionally, I'm not willing to goof around with other people's money if I know it's really really really not my forte - and if I feel it gets close to the 'health' bandwagon then I definitely won't read on it (as I like avoiding Professional Liability lawsuits ).

With sex-related questions I figure there are some legitimate health reasons why intimacy may be less-than-satisfying that I'm not willing to go into detail with in tarot (again, Professional Liability) - and with this particular client, I'd prefer they save their money to get advice from someone better placed to give advice (whether tarot or otherwise) :) I figure a dodgy reading on my behalf = bad experience for them (which is bad for business, and not helpful for the paying client).

That's not meant to be a judgemental comment on other people's practice by any means, just identifying where I stand professionally :)

Still open to reader recommendations for my client (online reading) - if this is you or someone you know, please shoot me a pm with biz details :)

[angelic star]

Well yes there is always a line when you know you cannot go further ahead into something that one is not closely acquanited with. Then again Tarot deals with the unseen, the occult, accessing reserves of intuition that does not have anything to with legality or health.
It does take an expert to handle those questions and there is that line you cannot cross, that is why not everyone ventures into that area. It is not everyone forte for sure. I also feel it's wise to make that decision to understand when you do not want to take questions of a certain nature.

[moonincancer]

I am not a professional reader. However, I have played around with Decameron tarot and it seems like it would be both fun and helpful to use an erotic deck like that one:)

[moonincancer]

So you could experiment with one of those and see how it goes

[FairyCrystal]

If you don't have a personal problem with it, I don't see the problem? I also don't see why you'd need 'the right' deck for it?
I see Decameron is mentioned, I myself recently purchased Tarot of Sexual Magic. But I didn't buy it to do sexual readings, but every possible reading you can think of. Work, love, state of mind, whatever.
I think you can use any deck to do a reading on sexuality. Like Pisces used normal Tarot to do one on my car and not a deck specifically on cars. May be a weird comparison, but still.

I wouldn't mind doing a reading on sex/sexuality when asked. I don't see a problem. To be honest I'm more surprised (and that is putting it mildly) when people find it shocking, because I don't understand what the big deal is. We all have sex, or want to, we all have a sex-drive. Rather healthy and part of life. And if things go well, a rather nice part, lol.

As for your client... if health isn't a direct reason, isn't it possible to read into the underlying issues? I believe when it comes to this, mental/emotional issues tend to be the cause, albeit within the person or in the relationship they're in.
I think you could give this client a good reading without entering the field of health/medical issues?

In any case, I hope you find someone!

[tealily]

Hi fairycrystal + moonincancer,

There's a few reasons I decided I'd rather forward this client's question to someone else rather than taking it on myself :)

1) Client guarentee/ethics - from a professional point of view, I want to guarentee all my clients that if I take their order, I offer a reasonable guarentee that I'm doing to do a decent reading. This means using decks I'm familiar with, working within my known experience level/field etc. I've got clearly-defined parameters for what I will and won't do, and this is to ensure a reasonable standard of quality for my services.

I may not need to use a different deck for this sort of question (and it is by no means a "bad" question, simply one I don't feel capable of answering well on a professional level), but I've made an executive decision that my professional skills in this particular subtopic are a) not experienced enough and b) that it falls slightly outside the boundaries I'm willing to work in. If I was purchasing a professional tarot reading from someone else, I would similarly expect that I'm going to get a good reading - I wouldn't want to know (or fear) that the reader is fluffing around because they're not sure what they're doing.

In short: On a professional level, I want to either do it well, or not at all. I'm not willing to offer what I feel may be a compromised service to my clients :)

2) Professional Liability (health and medical questions) + general boundary-setting professionally

1. I know there may be mental, physical or emotional barriers to satisfying sex for this client - some of which I could read on, some of which I don't

2. I will not know which of these reasons are specifically the issue until I have attempted the reading

This would be slightly more sucky if I was a face-to-face reader; I mean, how bad would it look if the client has asked the question, the reader has already pulled out cards, and minutes after turning them all over says "aww darn, I thought I'd be able to answer this but looks like you have a medical issue with your hoo-haa and I can't elaborate further on this because I don't read on medical matters".

The issue with anything particularly medical is that if you get it wrong, you may be legally liable (again, I enjoy avoiding lawsuits ).

What if the reason is mixed - let's say 50% medical, 50% emotional - I would still feel ethically conflicted about delivering a reading that focused on only 50% of the client's main issue, because then the client may get the impression that 95% of their problem is emotional, and don't go to a doctor because of that when they really should. I can't control what clients do with my readings, but it's something I care a lot about. I want the best outcome for my clients - and sometimes that means seeing someone other than a tarot reader! (both because I care, and again - professional liability).

So as an online reader, why aren't I attempting the question anyway? Surely I can just pull cards, and either fulfill the order if the querent's issue turns out to be emotional rather than physical/medical, or send the querent a refund later if it's a physical/medical issue after all.

A: Boundaries. Again, I don't know what the issue will be unless I flip some cards - and that's up to 30 minutes of my time wasted if it turns out I still need to offer a refund/forward the client elsewhere. If I have to deal with 7 of these "oh, maybe it's medical, maybe it's not" questions a day, then that's up to 3hrs 30mins of my time wasted that day. Not good! So again, I have clearly defined parameters on what I will and won't read for with the idea of 1) trying to offer services of a consistent quality and 2) trying to maximise the amount of money I can earn per hour/minimise "losses".

3) Business model
As an online reading service provider, I offer a specified timeframe within which readings will be received after purchase. This is getting shorter and shorter industry-wide - there are now a number of readers on etsy offering 3-hr turnarounds!

My turnarounds are a bit longer than that, but I still don't have time to goof around (or order new decks etc) if I want to commit to delivering services within the advertised timeframe. I also don't want to tell the client "oh hey, I know you paid for a reading within 3 days, but do you mind waiting two weeks so I have time to order a new deck and play around with it a bit first?"

Also as an online reading provider online reviews are pretty important to my business model - and basically, I don't want to take risks with what I do professionally because I'm in the business of trying to collect good client reviews and avoid bad client reviews :) If in 5 years I'm comfy with this sort of question and can do it well, sure, I'll take this person's money - but right now I don't, so I won't :)

Hope that clarifies things

[angelic star]

2) Professional Liability (health and medical questions) + general boundary-setting professionally

1. I know there may be mental, physical or emotional barriers to satisfying sex for this client - some of which I could read on, some of which I don't

I actually have to agree with you on this one. I recently had someone asking about relationships and there was a point in our conversation when it did start to border on physical health. I had to honestly tell the person about my field experience and what I do, that I am not medical health professional. If one is offering in depth readings it can begin to border on health at certain times. There is a line.

[tealily]

Yeah, the health/medical line. It's a legit thing.

The medical thing is also pretty funny for me because I AM in that industry - I have come very close to telling someone "dude, you realise that to properly diagnose your heart condition you need an actual ECG scan performed with an ECG machine and not a pack of cards, right?"

I cringe deeply when I see people advertising 'medical screening' services (usually some kind of chakra screen) - that's a whole kettle of fish I refuse to touch professionally. I would be curious to know - of the people who do it - whether they have insurance and whether any of them have had lawsuit or malpractice claims or whatever.