What exactly does "too intense" mean, exactly?

[John Elessar]

[Put this here because it is tangential to the often-dramatic relationships which often characterize SM/TS/etc. connections.]

I guess I personally thrive on the stuff-to me, someone saying something is too intense is like saying that ice cream is too delicious, so I won't eat it (diet issues aside), or that the sunset is too beautiful so I won't look at it. Why do people then run from or avoid intense relationships? Isn't that what life is ultimately all about? Wouldn't your curiosity outweight your fear in this case, wondering just how far the envelope can be pushed? Or am I being too naive about something that is escaping me here and which seems obvious to everyone else in modern society? Yes, in case you are wondering, I've personally gotten that line from some of the women I've dated...

[WhiteWarrior]

Hehehe. Too intense can be when you try to touch your date too many times in one meeting or sit too close. If they are less polite they'll say you are creepy, and if they are downright mean they will start listing up your physical deficiencies which tend to be closer to the core to the matter for them.... I'd say this goes for men too but they either don't mind the intimacy or they go straight to point 3.

[gypsymystique]

Too intense is a feeling that occurs when the other person makes you want to back up because the energy is so strong/intense.

I guess it's like a magnet. One polarization attracts another magnet; the polarization repels another. There is great intensity in either of these scenarios.

[Mr Interesting]

I always kinda titter when I read or hear the word intense because it's a totally human mind created expression of the human mind.

I came about when I was doing some artworks about stuff way back in the 90's and found out tabernaclum meant in tents as the original wording within the bible to denote a place of worship... it described a tent. See a Latin dictionary.

So whenever I see the word I know someone's mind is working overtime and describing an event only within their ability to grasp as phenomenon.

Originally Posted by John DiFool

[Put this here because it is tangential to the often-dramatic relationships which often characterize SM/TS/etc. connections.]

I guess I personally thrive on the stuff-to me, someone saying something is too intense is like saying that ice cream is too delicious, so I won't eat it (diet issues aside), or that the sunset is too beautiful so I won't look at it. Why do people then run from or avoid intense relationships? Isn't that what life is ultimately all about? Wouldn't your curiosity outweight your fear in this case, wondering just how far the envelope can be pushed? Or am I being too naive about something that is escaping me here and which seems obvious to everyone else in modern society? Yes, in case you are wondering, I've personally gotten that line from some of the women I've dated...

What you have been expriencing is the difference between men and women.
Per John Grey, the relationship guru,
Men are like "blow torch" - men see, men like/love, men go after aggressively, and men expect the object of their desire to response with the same intensity as theirs. (usually few dates)
Women are like "oven" - we listen, we talk, we feel, we think, and we consider the possibility of a relationship. It takes weeks and months (for some, years after being friends for a while)

You simply just need to back off and let your woman talk about herself (ask her lots of questions). More we share about ourselves, we become more attach to you because we invest in a relationship by sharing our feelings and thoughts. Emotional intimacy is more important to us women than physical intimacy.

The reason for this difference is in our DNAs. Thru the evolution process, women have been evolved to select the right gene/traits for their offsprings in order to insure the survival of their offsprings.

[Smiler]

Too Intense can mean a multitude for things when being said basically it depends on who is saying it IMO..

Example .. You may be hitting a deeper truth that makes another uncomfortable in themselves..hence Too intense ...or ... Too deep ..works as it is a back off signal.

Or

They simply do not think nor understand what is being said ..Some people like to talk about what they wear ..or oranges/pears ..Others ..why people thought the witchdoctor knew when the salmon would come in for the tribe..

I agree also with mystique ...
quote:
(Too intense is a feeling that occurs when the other person makes you want to back up because the energy is so strong/intense.

I guess it's like a magnet. One polarization attracts another magnet; the polarization repels another. There is great intensity in either of these scenarios.).

Having been told that a few times....like I am sure others have been ..I elected to change the word and correct the persons perception by saying ..No I Just think on a different level to you .

It really depends also on what is occurring at the time

:)

Too intense to me screams - you are making me experience or face my fears - this can be viewed by them as a positive or negative thing depending on how ready the person...

If you are told this alot by many perhaps you are coming from a place of "need" and it's a "too much too soon" situation for the OP involved

[gypsymystique]

Originally Posted by Loving_Soul

Too intense to me screams - you are making me experience or face my fears - this can be viewed by them as a positive or negative thing depending on how ready the person...

If you are told this alot by many perhaps you are coming from a place of "need" and it's a "too much too soon" situation for the OP involved

Well, said, I think.

I like intense the way you describe. However, the event horizon of a black hole is pretty intense. Maybe too intense. Sometimes it gets intense like that.

Also, I recently discovered much to my dismay, that it is actually possible to put too much cheese in a grilled cheese. So, never say never.

Yum. I'm eating grilled cheese right now.


When one is not on the same level as you they can experience a lack of intensity yet feel the intensity from you (if in tune) and not feel comfortable with it at all.
Unless like another member posted; the intensity is making them face their fears etc.