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28-09-2017, 05:22 AM
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Knower
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 211
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I Don't Want You When You Want Me.
Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon?
My love is unconditional. However, it
seems that my interest is only when I've been
abandoned / left. Part of me literally dies. The
world crumbles. I shatter. I end up obsessing,
radicalising, and just losing it.
However, as soon as interest is
shown again, I have no interest. I love.
But I can take it or leave it & it doesn't
matter either way.
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28-09-2017, 06:28 AM
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Experiencer
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 368
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*Raises hand*
I've heard one YouTuber that spoke about how we are opposed while in separation. Meaning that when I want light he wants dark or when he wants love I want solitude. But I can't say for sure that is a real thing. All I know is the messages and energy come much more clearly when I am not paying attention to him. Sigh
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28-09-2017, 06:31 AM
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Master
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,718
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I believe it's the ego at play, as I have been through this myself
certain times throughout my life, until I finally came to this realisation.
We want to be loved and paid full attention at all times and when this doesn't happen, we obsess.
For me this is when major self love came into play, it took time, but I did it...I learned to love myself unconditionally and now whether they stay or not, doesn't phase me one bit. I'll always have myself no matter what.
Hang in there, it does get better...
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28-09-2017, 07:06 AM
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Knower
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 211
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Thank You.
Yes, it is complete opposing forces.
dark/light, positive/negative, hate/love.
I believe it's ego too. I just don't
understand the soul connection then.
If immersed in ego, why so connected
to soul?
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28-09-2017, 07:30 AM
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Experiencer
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 368
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So I came across an interesting perspective of ego. I spent a long time trying to get rid of my ego which is not something I recommend at all!
But there is something called the negative ego and the positive ego or Soul connection. The negative ego is all the stuff that's keeping us down the fear doubt whatever. But the soul connection is the information we receive that is going to bring us our ultimate happiness and joy.
I use this to understand when my head is in a dark place verses I am in alignment with who I want to be. The more I could decipher between the two the more I became aware of when my negative ego was being triggered.
There are many Concepts that are similar to this but this one seems to fit with me at the moment. ♡
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28-09-2017, 07:53 AM
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Master
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,718
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psychegrl, well said... I agree.
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29-09-2017, 03:44 AM
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Ascender
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 779
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Ego is there. Look at it, going on and on without me. Sometimes it says things that make me happy and sometimes it says things that do not. but there it is. uncontrolled and unstoppable. It clearly doesn't belong to me. Good? Bad? Better to assess each offering as useful or unuseful. Ego goes nuts if you call it good or bad. It does ultimately wish to please the light inside. Useful content, not useful content.
It's just there going on and on. Make room for it to spin independent of swinging with it. Make space. Share the road.
__________________
A heart without intention is a heart without tension.
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29-09-2017, 04:37 AM
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Knower
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 211
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Yes, lol.
Ego is the root of all evil.
My ego has been in a relentless rage for the last
week. Complete madness. Lost in a web of thoughts,
emotions, and actions. All the while deeply
knowing the absolute insanity & meaningless of it all.
Shocked at what happens when left
unattended.
Look at the stars, trees, flowers, and even my dog
& contemplate the beauty & freedom they have.
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29-09-2017, 08:39 AM
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Master
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,292
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiberatedLotus
Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon?
My love is unconditional. However, it
seems that my interest is only when I've been
abandoned / left. Part of me literally dies. The
world crumbles. I shatter. I end up obsessing,
radicalising, and just losing it.
However, as soon as interest is
shown again, I have no interest. I love.
But I can take it or leave it & it doesn't
matter either way.
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Hi there Liberated
This is actually a stage that you'll go through. It is a developmental stage and it will help you to know what you really want. The two of you will have blueprinted where your relationship will go in this life. It is not always together, however sometimes it is together.
So when you understand the coding of your own emotions, because it is personal to each of us. For me it was that I accepted it for what it is. There was no other way for me. He's my everything.
It's not about being together, it's about understanding that you are together at all times throughout time and space. There is no separation that is the illusion of the human world.
You'll be there, where you need to be and the answers will come when the cycle that you mention in your post, just breaks down. There is nothing you really have to do, it will happen. You will even create the scenarios together to get to the truth of it.
If you want to do something, just ask what you want for yourself. That's the answer, regardless of all the tf drama.
& an aside before I sign off - the ego is necessary for us in human body. The elevated thing to do is to make peace with it and to understand that it is actually there to support you not thwart you. Through the correct tools you can integrate the ego and soul - Yoga is a good one for this.
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