closed

[umbridge]

One man who is attracted to me, said that I dont know how to love. He is not the only one who have said it. Many others have told me that I am like a stone, they cant get close to me. Outside I feel so calm and cold and most people see me as a very intresting person, but most people dont see the real me. Who I am inside. People see me as I am outside: calm, very goal-orientated, very focused, happy, shiny person.
How to let them closer? What issue is that? Trust issue? Self-esteem issue?
Any advice?
Share your experiences please.

Thanks a lot. Take care!

None of those.
Just your personality, unique and your own.
Don't worry about others' judgement.
If you are happy as you are, there is nothing to change.
Find someone else who is a better fit for your personality and most importantly, who would let you be yourself.

You are love, and subsequently capable of loving. Look into your life for examples where you feel a deep connection, open in love. Do you feel this way toward a pet dog, cat, your parents, your best friend? Use these examples, and the precious moments they bring of openness to facilitate love to other people in your life.

An alternating approach is if in the current moment you feel closed, surrender to all that is. Practice physically opening up your chest and allowing your emotions to flow uninhibited.

[fire]

Do you personally feel that this statement is true to you ?

If you do recognise a tendency of rejecting others to prevent them from getting too close to your true self, it could most likely be a trust issue, as you suggested.

When a person decides to close off from others, whether consciously or unconsciously, it is usually because they are afraid of being hurt through experiences of rejection or betrayal. Such experiences can leave deep scars in one's soul from several lifetimes back, especially if it has been a recurring experience.

If you do indeed feel that this could be the case, I would advice you to seek healing, to permanently release and clear these emotions. One thing that may be of support is to address how this undesired feeling of seclusion feels to you, with a certain healing video on YouTube. Search for "The Pulse Technique" by Deb Cummings, and allow the clearing transmission to take care of this.

May your life be embraced by love in its purity, to permeate your being, release all fear, and strengthen your heart to withstand anything with grace and ease. And So Be It.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by umbridge

One man who is attracted to me, said that I dont know how to love. He is not the only one who have said it. Many others have told me that I am like a stone, they cant get close to me. Outside I feel so calm and cold and most people see me as a very intresting person, but most people dont see the real me. Who I am inside. People see me as I am outside: calm, very goal-orientated, very focused, happy, shiny person.
How to let them closer? What issue is that? Trust issue? Self-esteem issue?
Any advice?
Share your experiences please.

Thanks a lot. Take care!

No one knows how to love, there is no method to that madness. People might say that, but it's not true. What I hear is that you want closeness in life and I guess that involves revealing the 'real me', which in turn requires trust. It's kinda subtle because safety and trust are like wheels on a cart, they have to be same size or it doesn't work. That way it's like testing the water so to speak, it takes a series of small risks to make trust grow.

Umbridge - yes it involves trust but also, as you suggest, self esteem. Being guarded/not revealing self is largely due to fear of being judged and indicates possible low self esteem. Those who are confident are more open and are less phased by what others may think of them, since they are secure in their self worth.

[umbridge]

Originally Posted by fire

Do you personally feel that this statement is true to you ?

If you do recognise a tendency of rejecting others to prevent them from getting too close to your true self, it could most likely be a trust issue, as you suggested.

When a person decides to close off from others, whether consciously or unconsciously, it is usually because they are afraid of being hurt through experiences of rejection or betrayal. Such experiences can leave deep scars in one's soul from several lifetimes back, especially if it has been a recurring experience.

If you do indeed feel that this could be the case, I would advice you to seek healing, to permanently release and clear these emotions. One thing that may be of support is to address how this undesired feeling of seclusion feels to you, with a certain healing video on YouTube. Search for "The Pulse Technique" by Deb Cummings, and allow the clearing transmission to take care of this.

May your life be embraced by love in its purity, to permeate your being, release all fear, and strengthen your heart to withstand anything with grace and ease. And So Be It.

Wow. I am so thankful to you. Yeah, I got fear of abandonment.

[umbridge]

Originally Posted by amy green

Umbridge - yes it involves trust but also, as you suggest, self esteem. Being guarded/not revealing self is largely due to fear of being judged and indicates possible low self esteem. Those who are confident are more open and are less phased by what others may think of them, since they are secure in their self worth.

Also very true!!
Thanks.

[umbridge]

Originally Posted by Gem

No one knows how to love, there is no method to that madness. People might say that, but it's not true. What I hear is that you want closeness in life and I guess that involves revealing the 'real me', which in turn requires trust. It's kinda subtle because safety and trust are like wheels on a cart, they have to be same size or it doesn't work. That way it's like testing the water so to speak, it takes a series of small risks to make trust grow.

Absolutely true.

Originally Posted by Nada

None of those.
Just your personality, unique and your own.
Don't worry about others' judgement.
If you are happy as you are, there is nothing to change.
Find someone else who is a better fit for your personality and most importantly, who would let you be yourself.

Not sure about the finding someone else advice, but to simply be yourself and letting the chips fall where they may makes total sense to me.
Just because our dreams are beyond mental comprehension is not a good reason to abandon being true to our dreams.

Dream beyond.