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Mystical, thank you.
I know, but i am just so tired of waiting and waiting. There is something special about this prof like i said it´s just an attraction nothing more serious. He just get shy when he sees me. I notice everything.
I´m just lonely i guess and emotionally tired. We all are in this journey.
We must stick together and help each other
<3
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Sunflowerz, I would say don't wait around on someone...send them love and reach out to them if appropriate to share love and blessings, support and friendship.
I would also say don't go after someone just based on attraction, unless you are very clear that all you desire is the probable outcome of attraction...sex or a sexual relationship.
If you don't want that, then there is no need to get involved sexually with this new gent simply based on his desire or interest. There is also no need to get too involved emotionally if you are not sure whether he wants to get involved emotionally. And in order to know this and whether he is sound of mind and judgment, you would need to get to know him slowly, over time, just as he would need to do with you.
If someone desires your friendship and is willing to take the time to get to know you, then his physical desire can be expressed within the circle of authentic love and belonging. Otherwise, a man's physical desire takes him straight to sex, and sometimes to obsessive need and addiction. None of this is authentic love.
I don't have any expectations for anyone, anywhere, aside from kindness, and emotional maturity/ownership. If I engage with them more personally, then also I expect that they be willing and able to take the time to get to know me. If they would like to be my partner, then as we get to know each other, I would expect that once they are more serious about me, that they not be emotionally or physically involved or intimate with another. Only then, if we mutually love, respect, and admire each other & are willing to commit in some way, then we could explore partnership and intimacy.
For me, all of that comes after you've had time to get to know someone and not after you've been road-tested for weeks or months (or years) whilst they sort it, or whilst you do.
I know myself well enough to know I don't want to be touched by a hand that doesn't know me well, hasn't taken time to come to know and love me as a person and as a friend first and foremost. Physical attraction is easy for men but their attraction is simply not enough for me. I need to have a mutual love...and only then will there be a mutual physical attraction where I would welcome sex and touch and consider it truly intimate.
You may not be together with a close soulmate this lifetime...or with any soul family. You're right on that. I wouldn't wait. But I also wouldn't seek anything whose known outcome will be sexual if the gent has his way, unless that's all you want. Nor would I sign on to a relationship or to a marriage unless a man had taken his sweet time to really get to know me first before either pressing for sex or pressing for commitment. I think both of those are right only when the man has taken time to know me and love me as a person, WITHOUT pressing for sex or commitment or exclusivity early on or in the clear absence of authentic love for me as a person.
I think everyone in the universe (potentially and ideally) has so much to offer and is beautiful and loveable in their own way. Will you be more resonant and closer emotionally and spiritually with some souls than others? Surely so, because that simply is what is. Will you be able to tolerate the attitudes and expectations of anyone and everyone up close, day-to-day? Surely not, since we live in societies which are so deeply flawed that it is nearly impossible for many to meet you and see you and value you as you are. But does this mean you should strive for less from your end? Or that you should settle for less in a relationship, simply because few will offer you more than sex and casual companionship in a "relationship"? Not necessarily, no.
Because once we love ourselves and are open to the beauty and love that we are, and in which we are completely immersed...we realise we have no requirements for and get few to no benefits from "relationships" which do not honour us in the fullness of our humanity. Which do not contain a deep and foundational mutuality of authentic love, which in fact is our birthright. We realise we do welcome a truly mature and illuminated relationships -- including but not limited to partnerships -- that can add to our lives without taking us down or belittling us, but that otherwise, without this spiritually and emotionally mature component, they are not that appealing and demand far, far more of us than we can justify or sustain.
And the reverse is also true...if we seek out or welcome partner relationships whether out of loneliness or social expectations or simply because we feel open to it, then we need to be
very clear about the costs/benefits and very concrete about how we define "relationship"...because you will be amazed at how so many men think shagging, casual affection (with a lot of sexual touch), and shacking up are the primary aspects of a "relationship", and certainly not authentic love or committed partnership. What I'm saying, point blank, is that an awful lot want a sexual relationship, and not much else, though if you give them love and respect, they will of course take it for free. That does not mean they are willing to engage emotionally in order to give the same in return to you. That is, many prefer exploitative, imbalanced "relationships" because they can get the most whilst giving the least, but failing that many simply want and demand sex and availability.
You cannot know the true measure of a man by anything else except his proven integrity and emotional maturity and generosity, shown over time. And in truth, the exact same goes for him on his side regarding you or any other woman. If he settles for less than getting to know and love you as a person, it's simply because that bit is not important for him. And the possibility of an authentically loving connection is out the door...so you and I and all the rest of us need to continue to live in the real, and not in the realm of the ideal or the idealised. Anytime a woman hears "loving parternship" for a "relationship" when a gent hears "sexual relationship" for "relationship", we have a serious disconnect, and this disconnect is rampant in our society.
If you desire authentically loving partnerships, then think it's safe to say that with the average gent, there will be high costs and relatively fewer benefits, the more complete you feel within yourself. Because society and most folks' experiences have completely failed to prepare them for taking ownership for their actions and their relationships, for living from a place of grace and love, or from giving and receiving in mutuality and reciprocity in authentic love. Where we actively support and seek the highest good of the other, equally to the self.
In sum...I would say, be careful and above all, move slowly, with equanimity, fullness of being (i.e., centred), and a clarity of perspective.
Peace & blessings!
7L
So glad to help in any way.
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