'Runners', come here!

[John Elessar]

Is that part of it then? The feeling like here is this person that you simply cannot hide a single solitary thing from, who will indeed see right through you (bad parts and good) in all the myriad ways that that implies?

Would explain a lot actually...

[gypsymystique]

Originally Posted by John Elessar

Is that part of it then? The feeling like here is this person that you simply cannot hide a single solitary thing from, who will indeed see right through you (bad parts and good) in all the myriad ways that that implies?

Would explain a lot actually...

Yes. Freaks me out and I split. (At least I have in the past). No judgment from the other though so it's really the runner's big ball of fear and insecurity to deal with rather than something based in reality.

Uhhh...
Why not just ask the "runner" directly?

Maybe the problem is the inability to communicate (?) rather than the nature of the connection itself.

The way I see it.
Most of these “TF sufferings" come from communication issues, ineffective interpersonal skills, emotional problems, inability to maintain a functional relationship, or unavailability both physically and emotionally.

Instead of labeling these dysfunctions as "TF syndromes", try to focus on each issue and to determine if there is a resolution/workaround for it.

If these problems continue and can not be accepted as a part of the deal, it probably is the time to move on from the "runner", while just accepting/acknowledging the connection itself.

Or if you are not in any position to even have this kind of open communication with the “love of your life”, this pseudo relationship probably is not worth continuing. (Unless this is how you want to spend the rest of your life.)

I mean it is your life. So, if this is what you want, then you should continue. But I really do not see any point in it.

Just acknowledge the soul connection and at the same time, recognize the physical/emotional disfunctions of the human connection.

In order for a soul connection to materialize as a physical relationship (especially as a romantic one), physical and emotional connections have to align as well.

Although humans can not come together physically, the souls would continue their relationships in the soul plane. (wether we like it or not)
Our souls are not concerned with our human physical connections. So, don't worry about hurting the soul of the other person.

[Impulsv]

Yes clearly for me it's communication I am open he is not. So he says he's not interested romantically. Wether it's a lie due to fear or truth I can only rely o. His words. So I let him be I can't force him to say what my soul feels is going on with him. As Its not healthy to be with someone who is closed off n guarded. N that's why he's not ready.
I have no problem with it but it appears that's the struggle with my runner perhaps to be open about the feelings. The runner I spoke with says she can't expose herself like that its too scary for her. So yes nada ur right.
One thing she asked was if my tf was a good person I said ofcourse just like you
She said she doesnt think shes a good person even though she is. But she is young in early 20s. Soul recognition at first sight for both.
My tf ended the relationship because I asked that he be more open for the relationship to work. I don't understand why it hurt him so much but the runner I spoke to understood exactly how painful that would be for her to be called on her weakness. N frightful to be asked to do that.

I've noticed that my tf seems to have withdrawn a bit from his social circle, is there a reason for that?

Originally Posted by nugget

I've noticed that my tf seems to have withdrawn a bit from his social circle, is there a reason for that?

Mine did that in the beginning too.

Is that part of it then? The feeling like here is this person that you simply cannot hide a single solitary thing from, who will indeed see right through you (bad parts and good) in all the myriad ways that that implies?

***** This is worded so perfectly My TF can absolutely see through me in every way....and yes, it is sort of scary, and makes me feel incredibly vulnerable at times.
However, on the other hand, it felt so nice to have finally found someone who truly "gets me", inside & out! Someone who won't let me hide - from him, or myself - and makes me look in that mirror - good, bad or ugly, lolol!
So I never considered "running" from that - I instead just surrendered, because I quickly realized one very crucial thing:
Whether I tried to run away from it, or deny it, it didn't change the fact that my TF was already inside of me - he had already gotten past all my defenses. He already knew me, before I even fully realized it! So trying to run away from it after seemed crazy to me - sort of like that old saying of
"It's like closing the barn door after the horses have fled" *****

Originally Posted by sesheta

[However, on the other hand, it felt so nice to have finally found someone who truly "gets me", inside & out!

This indeed is a wonderful feeling. I feel he gets me. When we are not running, we get along and understand each other so easily. It is too easy and I believe that is what he is afraid of. I "get" him and he has spent most of his life being misunderstood. He seems to find it puzzling that I understand him so well, but he makes plenty of sense to me. :-) I love him so!

Originally Posted by Impulsv

So he says he's not interested romantically. Wether it's a lie due to fear or truth I can only rely o. His words. So I let him be I can't force him to say what my soul feels is going on with him.

This is how I feel too. When we first started talking he did express his love. Then we had a little rough moment 3 months later (communication issues) and he stopped talking to me. (He got mad) So, I left him alone after a couple of weeks. Then after several months he contacted me and we began talking. When I started to open up again, he told me he was uncomfortable with my feelings towards him (as if he had never said he loved me) and that he was not insterested in a relationship with me. So, I can only take him at his words as well and although I feel like he still loves me just as much as I love him, I can't force him to tell me. :-(

Is it possible for the runner to ignore you but at the same time say things like "I don't want the relationship to end"?

Twin says that but then ignores.

Part of me really thinks this is just part of his womanizing traits. If he doesn't feel he's getting anywhere with the woman or if he loses interest he still wants to be the "nice guy" by not hurting feelings, but is really not interested anymore.

Is the real test, then, letting go and see if you get more and more signs of the connection? Because I am spinning my wheels here and it's exhausting chasing this strange runner.