About a year and a half has gone by since our breakup and although I healed bit by bit, it remained difficult at times. It's as if my heart keeps closing itself off all the time.
The other day I did the 'reclaim your heart' visualization that is in Judy Hall's Crystal Prescriptions, I believe volume 5.
I'd done it before, but now it was more effective, I could get into it better, and I really wanted to do this as well.
When I got in my heart temple I saw that big part of it was dark. When I zoomed in, he was still holding part of my heart, it looked as if there was a transparent dome over it and I couldn't access that part.
I managed to get rid of that and to move him out of my heart temple. Was quite easy even. Maybe I'd been holding on to it myself, not sure, although I got the impression he hadn't wanted to really let go of me.
But it was gone, I send healing light and energy to that spot in particular, wrote my name all over my heart temple to claim ownership of it again.
Since I've done that (last week) I feel better in the sense he seems further away. More like a distant memory. Not in my energy anymore. Of course I must be careful to not create a new cord, I will do this visualization again soon.
I still cannot get totally joyful and inspired about finding new love, although in a way I want to and am truly ready for it.
But I'm not sure if this still has to do with what happened. I kind of lost my drive last summer when pre-menopause started. I'm beginning to suspect that this is what has knocked the wind out of me.
I seriously recommend people to do that visualization if you're struggling after a breakup, even if it means you got to buy that book. It is worth it!
Or do another good heart chakra visualization where you reclaim it.
It is incredibly helpful, provided you yourself are willing to let go of course.